activeteacher is offline activeteacher Post #1  January 28,2010, 8:12am
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There is so much discussion about people Poofing that I thought I would share my recent experience. I had a first meeting with an eH match last weekend. Decent time. Nice conversation. When dinner was done and we were leaving, I said something like "Talk with you more later."

As I drove home, I realized I did not have any real interest in the lady. I liked her as a potential friend, but could not see anything more. Physical was part of it. But overall personality and goals just did not like a spark with me.

I had intended to call her the next day. She did text me. Yet my life kept me hopping. I kept starting to send even a txt (since that can be done at really strange hours w/ less chance of waking someone up). Before I knew it, most of this week has gone by.

I feel bad, having done a Poof! The longer the time goes by, the harder it is to even say "Hey! I apologize for poofing. I think we could hang as friends, but I don't feel any chemistry. You are a great lady ... I wish you the best of luck in your search."

So, poofs sometimes happen unintentionally. Yet, such happenings occur with a "s/he is just not that into you."

BTW, would sending the message now still be the polite thing to do?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  January 28,2010, 8:15am
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In the time it took you to post this you could have at least texted her
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  January 28,2010, 8:16am
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I don't think you poofed quite yet. I would send her a note apologizing for not getting back to her earlier and end things that way.
 
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Daphnie is offline Daphnie Post #4  January 28,2010, 8:17am
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activeteacher wrote :
BTW, would sending the message now still be the polite thing to do?
I'd call her.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #5  January 28,2010, 8:30am

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I would let her know about eHA, That way she can start a thread about you! ...We do need more poofing threads around here


I don't see anything wrong with sending a message. Owning up to your mistake is a good quality.
 
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activeteacher is offline activeteacher Post #6  January 28,2010, 8:40am
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Can't call during the day. Work and personal calls don't go together. (too many ears listening in)

Did send text. Thanks Andiels.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #7  January 28,2010, 12:59pm
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I would have waited till after work, called her, apologized for not getting back sooner but telling her how you felt.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #8  January 28,2010, 1:00pm
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ActiveTeacher,

It's never too late to contact them. You did the right thing.

Just think.. what would be ruder:
1. to have never contacted them ever again and let them nkow?
2. or to have contacted them sometime after a week to let them know?

It's never too late to contact them and bring closure to a situation. period. And "harder" isn't an excuse to avoid doing something. period.



Richey
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  January 28,2010, 1:02pm
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I really didn't mean a text message. I would be livid if I got a break up text. Maybe an e-mail would be a better way to go. I do agree with Stevex that a phone call after work would be much better as well.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #10  January 28,2010, 1:26pm

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after one date, I think a text or email is fine. a phone call is better, though.
 
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