I don't date Younger Guys... Why does age matter?


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  January 25,2010, 3:16pm
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Ok, I have read the threads where women who are looking for younger guys won't date them because (although only 3 years apart) they are "too old." The threads where guys don't want to date women their own age because they are "too old."

Seems to me that we put so much weight on age... but why? For this thread, I wanted to change it up a little. I don't date guys my own age. I definitely DO NOT date guys younger than me. I just turned 36 this month, but probably look closer to 22-24. I've been told that I don't look old enough to have a 6yo. Get carded everywhere I go...

So, I do get picked up by a LOT of younger guys. Went out on two dates once with a guy who was 7 years younger than me. Very convincing, attractive gentlemen, and went out on the first date. That was it, I thought I was being nice, and told him no more... convinced me to go out on another date. Really nice kid, but no thanks. Finally, couldn't do it to him any longer and just told him there was no interest.

But, why? Isn't age just a number. I can date someone almost 20 years older than me, but have no interest in someone only 7 years (or even 1 year) younger. It's just interesting that we put so much weight on these things. No questions, just pondering this as I was reading another thread.

I guess if I had to say why... it would boild down to: maturity, life experience, financial security/stability, emotional security/stability, ability to deal with a woman with several kids, casual sex... I think those are my big reasons for wanting older. I know that even an "old guy" might have issues in those areas. But, if I'm going to date and think my odds of finding the "right one for me" are decent, I feel I'll have a bigger pool of "decent" if I stick with older men. Flawed thinking... maybe.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  January 25,2010, 4:14pm
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I'm very young.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #3  January 25,2010, 4:15pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I'm very young.
too bad... and I was going to ask you out!! Can't remember what thread it was on, but PY suggested it (I think!).
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  January 25,2010, 4:21pm
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PY seems to be trying to marry me off!
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #5  January 25,2010, 4:36pm
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D_Lion wrote :
PY seems to be trying to marry me off!
Yeah, but I have kids, and divorced... he'll have to keep looking for that perfect bride for you. Oh, and I don't have sex early on in the relationship... what did we have in common again?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  January 25,2010, 4:48pm
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Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #7  January 25,2010, 4:48pm
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I'm 50 and get asked by some men my age and older, but also probably just as much or more by younger men - some as young as 20, more often early-late 30s. I don't and can't imagine myself ever dating that much younger than myself.

For one thing, it's never happened yet, even when I see/meet one I think is very attractive (even/including in personality), that I feel attracted to him in that way.

I'm also not and never was much of a "dater" - my interest is in a long-term relationship. Obviously those types of relationships do work out long-term sometimes, but it happens often enough that the younger man wants children and/or to be more with others closer to his age that it makes sense to me to narrow my field to my best overall options. Many of those who've contacted me also make it clear upfront that dating (or whatever) is all they're interested in.

On the other hand, I used to think that older men were often more comfortable and easier (for me) to be around because they were more likely to be more settled in their demeanor and such, but lately I'm not so sure. In my age range, especially in the online dating pool, I've had contact from and seen on message boards too many men who were very quick to react emotionally and with anger in particular that I'm really beginning to reconsider my range.

The truth is there are happy and unhappy, emotionally immature and mature, settled and not so settled people in every age group, so while my hope is still to find someone near my age with the traits I seek, I'm recently leaning toward dropping my lower range by at least a few years.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  January 25,2010, 4:52pm
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The issue isnt age...but where you are in your life.

The reason guys who even are a little older than you, say 37-42 may be a little concerned if they are at a point where they would like to have children and the women thee age have already did the kids and dont want anymore or theyve decided they dont want kids or there is concern with their age and if they can have kids.

The other factor in some of the men are looks where they look and see a woman in her mid 20s and see someone who still has a firm body and want to go for that because of their own mid-life crisis they are going to currently.

Age IS NOT an issue if they are at the same point in their lives like he is 27 and she is 31...but they both are ready and wanting to have a family.

Similarly, if they are in their late 30s and early 40s and have been divorced and have had children already arent looking for the child factor and age isnt an issue.

With me 40, who has been married and divorced without children....I would like to have children, so that is a big factor in my searching. Its not a be all end all factor but its a significant factor.
 
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mikeinor is offline mikeinor Post #9  January 25,2010, 4:53pm
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I was amazed when I looked through my match folder that all of the women listed they were interested in men a couple years younger and 7 to 10 years older???

When I was in high school I always remember the girls dating older guys but I don't ever remember them dating younger guys????

There are some very attractive women my age with a lot of great qualities that I really appreciate. None of them will even reply "Not interested" to an e-mail.

I too look young for my age. Even at 42 I still get this. This was a curse when trying to date when I was younger. What girl would want to go out with some guy that looked like a kid?

The last lady I went out with was 7 years younger than me. I didn't feel as awkward about age as I used to.

Is age a woman thing or a guy thing or are their other determining factors that just reflect themselves in age? Like how old you appear? What your financial and social status is? How mature you appear to the opposite sex?
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #10  January 25,2010, 4:56pm
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Also...one other point.....women have been raised thinking they have to date someone who is taller.....and older than them.....how often in high school do you recall a girl dating a guy a year younger or more than them?
 
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