No sex? Is Torture wrong?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  January 24,2010, 5:57pm
jussmile's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

Seattle

Posts: 3,837

See profile

I posted this in the "Let's talk about sex" board, but I think it was the wrong place... they just wanted to talk about sex and I don't think even the thought of someone not wanting sex is something that is okay over there.

So, let me try again. This may or may not be the right place, but here goes:

Is it wrong if a woman does not want to have sex before marriage, long-term commitment, or whatever X timeframe, to just make out with a guy (whatever that means... not including oral)?

If a guy says he can handle that, can he really? Is he just holding out until he can finally wear you down or catch you at a weak moment?

Is it just cruel, and men really wish women wouldn't do this and would rather them cut out all physical contact if you're not willing to put up the goods? I'm not asking anyone to question one's values about sex. This is if it is a decided factor that sex is out. What would be okay?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  January 24,2010, 5:59pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

If a woman doesn't wish sex prior to marriage, that is her right.

If she has previosuly had sex (not including being a widow), then she had a faulty mental process I will not deal with.

I do figure she will change her mind on this issue - they all do.
 
  Reply With Quote
SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #3  January 24,2010, 6:01pm
SierraMountai…'s Avatar

The Doctor just called. Your test results are in.

Power Poster

Joined: Apr 2008

California, but NORTHERN California

Posts: 6,025

See profile

A female physician (who is in her 50's) on here opined that to her "It is not a relationship without sex".

Probably she is right, and that should conclude the discussion..
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  January 24,2010, 6:03pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

6dle899 wrote :
A female physician (who is in her 50's) on here opined that to her "It is not a relationship without sex".

I agree with this.
 
  Reply With Quote
jcw001 is offline jcw001 Post #5  January 24,2010, 6:05pm
jcw001's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jan 2010

Horsham, PA

Posts: 652

See profile

As a generality, men's top need is sexual intimacy as taken from the book, His Needs, Her Needs: How to build an Affair Proof Marriage. It happens to be true for me and I will guess that is the case for many men.

It can be a carpy position to be in for a man - especially if the kissing gets hot and heavy.

What you will likely find is that a man that might not like it but will be willing to respect you and therefore hold off until you are ready, you might find a man that is tune with your timing or a man that will walk.

The key though is that you have to do what you are comfortable with.
 
  Reply With Quote
mikeinor is offline mikeinor Post #6  January 24,2010, 6:12pm
mikeinor's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2009

Redmond, OR.

Posts: 369

See profile

jcw001 wrote :
The key though is that you have to do what you are comfortable with.
I agree, you have to be true to yourself.

If this is how you feel you need to be upfront with how you feel. This line gets awfully blurry when contact starts happening.
 
  Reply With Quote
jussmile is offline jussmile Post #7  January 24,2010, 6:23pm
jussmile's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

Seattle

Posts: 3,837

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
If she has previosuly had sex (not including being a widow), then she had a faulty mental process I will not deal with.
Why s this a "faulty mental process" what do you mean by that? If a person has had sex, divorced, whatever... that means she has to sign up for sex with any guy she's dating? It's a given?

That seems like a faulty mental process to me.
 
  Reply With Quote
CAnative is offline CAnative Post #8  January 24,2010, 6:26pm
CAnative's Avatar

Sometimes life is an "E" ticket ride....Hold on!!

Quick Study

Joined: May 2008

So. California

Posts: 197

See profile

I do agree when sex is in the picture too early it can distort feelings and emotion especially for women. I personally feel a mature relationship includes compatible sex. If I am head over heels for a guy and the sex is not compatible the relationship is doomed. At least thats my opinion. Open honest communication goes along way what ever your view on sex might be.
 
  Reply With Quote
RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #9  January 24,2010, 6:26pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

Northwest

Posts: 3,239

See profile

jussmile wrote :
I posted this in the "Let's talk about sex" board, but I think it was the wrong place... they just wanted to talk about sex and I don't think even the thought of someone not wanting sex is something that is okay over there.
snip
?
Well, it is the Lets Talk About Sex board, not theLets Talk about Not Having Sex board..you'd be more likely to find that discussion on one of the religious boards where chastity is understood better.

And, in the end, it's about what you want. Not what the man you're making crazy with passionate kisses wants, isn't it?
Last edited by RoxyRedhead; January 24,2010 at 7:05pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
justme27 is offline justme27 Post #10  January 24,2010, 6:28pm
justme27's Avatar

There I put up a darn avatar is everyone happy! T.S. Eliot very pretentious

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2009

Somewhere in that crazy place for all the crazy people called California

Posts: 1,067

See profile

Jussmile, no there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex until you are married. In fact, it is perfectly ok. However, I would worry about the sex drive of the guy who would agree to this. Meaning, he says sure to it then chances are he is going to have a pretty low sex drive. This may impact you after you marry, if your desire for intimacy does not coincide.

Hey if this helps critique my profile under using E-harmony!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« being "understanding" ... how far should you go?! | Dating | Do a lot of 30-something women care too much about material possesions or is this a strange occurance? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Ever been Caught in the Wrong Line? j0hn8andy About You 37 November 30,2009 9:07pm
I called him by the wrong name! Help! teacher22 Using eHarmony 20 November 27,2009 4:51am
did I do something wrong?? nicoleak3 Ask a Dating Expert 6 September 24,2009 2:55pm
Wrong number landstar59 Chit Chat 4 July 25,2009 7:09pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Come on, just because the guy is old and hasn't dated doesn't make him a toad. Lots of people have divorced and not dated in years due to job, kids, or whatever. You said he seemed nice. Maybe he is ... ” –  Altair

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“No, you have missed the point entirely. (Which is again evidence that raising children is far easier than most things.) Only a tiny fraction of motivated, able people succeed in reaching space. ... ” –  scubaroo

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“You need to try harder ... cus harder is always mo bettah!” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“I went hunting the other day and I bagged a deer.” –  myusernamehere

Join the “Good News” discussion

“Well, I'd start by trying to learn the reason. If he doesn't like "desk jobs," or respect corporations for perceived ethics, then maybe an entreprenurial venture is more his style? If he simply ... ” –  D_Lion

Join the “How to motivate a person?” discussion

“How to be happy with him? Chicks dig firefighters ...” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Ways to motivate him?” discussion

“Hi Suzanne, please see comments below in red. Overall, you seem to be a deep, sensitive and spiritual person. You have interesting hobbies and occupations. Remember there are hundreds and thousands ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “Seeking review of my profile: 52 yr old woman, Pittsburgh area” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:50pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0