When she ends a date with, "Call Me," does she really want me to?


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midwesterngent is offline midwesterngent Post #1  January 23,2010, 11:29pm
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New to the online dating and to this discussion board - so apologies if this has been discussed before. Just had a really nice first date with a funny, quirky lady. We met for drinks and lingered for around three hours. After the date, we were outside and I was trying to hail her a cab. I mentioned that we should get together again sometime, to which she replied, "Sure, call me." Then a cab pulls up and is waiting for her, so I am not sure how to end the date (hug? handshake? godnight kiss?) and after an akward pause, she walks away, turns and waves goodbye then gets into the cab. Does she really want me to call? And PS, is it a sign of disinterest that she split the tab when the bill came?
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #2  January 23,2010, 11:53pm
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If someome tells me to call them i always assume that's what they want me to do. You missed your chance to give her a quick kiss during the awkward pause but she turned and waved, that's something, my experience with dates who are going to poof is that once they've walked away they don't look back, it's already behind them.
Splitting the tab doesn't mean disinterest, maybe she's just the type of person that likes to pay her way.
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  January 24,2010, 12:07am
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She could also be cautious and not want him to know where she lives, yet.

I say call her. The worst she could do is say no.
 
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JaneyK is offline JaneyK Post #4  January 24,2010, 12:07am
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Well, you will never know if you don't call her. She probably wouldn't have said to if she truly didn't want a call from you, and she did turn around to wave at the last minute. If she didn't want to see you again, she would have just got in the cab and driven away.

I agree with Gothustartus that you missed the opportunity to give her a quick kiss before she got into the cab.

I like to pay my own way too, so don't take that as disinterest. For me it is actually a form of respect for the guy. There are way too many women out there that just want to spend the guys money. You should look at it like a breath of fresh air that she is independent and doesn't mind splitting the tab or even picking up the whole tab once in a while.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #5  January 24,2010, 12:12am
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It's .... there is no guarantee either way. If you are asking "is it possible that when a girl says call me, that she really doesn't mean it?" yes it is possible.

I agree with andiels... just go for it and invite for a 2nd date... see what happens.

Good luck. Next time, dont' hesitate .. just do something. It's better to do somethign and look confident doing it (even if it's not the right thing) then to hesitate and/or not do something.

Richey
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #6  January 24,2010, 12:18am
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midwesterngent wrote :
New to the online dating and to this discussion board - so apologies if this has been discussed before. Just had a really nice first date with a funny, quirky lady. We met for drinks and lingered for around three hours. After the date, we were outside and I was trying to hail her a cab. I mentioned that we should get together again sometime, to which she replied, "Sure, call me." Then a cab pulls up and is waiting for her, so I am not sure how to end the date (hug? handshake? godnight kiss?) and after an akward pause, she walks away, turns and waves goodbye then gets into the cab. Does she really want me to call? And PS, is it a sign of disinterest that she split the tab when the bill came?
If I've learned anything through dating it's that hardly anything means the same thing twice, or has the same meaning to every person you're going to come across, in every situation.

"Call me" might mean "I'm just being polite right now" OR it might mean "Sure! Call me it would be fun going out again!" So, (shrug) what've you got to lose? Call her again, with a plan and an invite and take it from there.

Some might suggest that the invite to get together again should have/could have been more specific, in order to give her a better idea of your interest level. As in "would you like to get together next (insert day here) for (insert activity here)?" It sends a clearer message of intent.

Splitting the tab - well, this one could have a hundred meanings, or more. It could just as easily be a sign of courtesy as it could be a sign of disinterest, and there's really no guessing at it. I think opinions on this one vary greatly. (Me paying 1/2 tab, tip or at least offering to contribute, even if the guy didn't accept, is no indication of my interest one way or the other. If it's used as a means of gauging my interest, or lack of it, that would lead to some incorrect conclusions.)

For future reference, the only thing I'd strongly caution against - is not ending any dates (that you're interested in seeing again) with a handshake. That seems to universally give the message - "Nice meeting you, we won't be doing this again" lol Personally, I'd even prefer a moment of awkwardness to a clumsy handshake from someone who might be interested in me.

Give the girl a call w/ a plan for a date in mind - day, time, activity. If she can make it, great! If she can't, hopefully she'll offer up an alternate day. Good luck!
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #7  January 24,2010, 12:21am
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well, i'd say "call me" and insisting on splitting the bill means the chances for a future are slim. however, lingering three hours over drinks mitigates the picture. you should call.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #8  January 24,2010, 12:23am
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Call her...she said yes. Also if she didnt like you she would have ended the date earlier.

On splitting the bill ---dont take that the wrong way. Some women insist on it because they dont want to feel they are obligated to you...its more of a equality thing.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  January 24,2010, 8:45am
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lil_lamb wrote :
well, I'd say "call me" and insisting on splitting the bill means the chances for a future are slim. however, lingering three hours over drinks mitigates the picture. you should call.
I agree with what you started out with. But it does not matter how long the first date goes, it has no bearing on the future, in my experience.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  January 24,2010, 8:52am
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Since she said to call her it would be impolite to not call her. However, I would not take that as an indication that she is interested. I have not had a first date yet where the girl ended the date by telling me that she was not interested. Every one has ended the first date by saying that she would like to go out again and with very rare exception have they ever even acknowledged my follow up contact.

Even if she offered to split the bill you should have declined her offer. I would take it that she is wanting to pay her share because she is not interested in see you again and wants to exit without feeling any obligation toward you.

On ending the date you should have offered to hug her. Personal opinion here, a handshake is too business like and a kiss unless she offers that is too forward.
 
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