So...why haven't I heard from him? Hmm.


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
rybelles is offline rybelles Post #1  January 16,2010, 12:49pm
rybelles's Avatar

Salut!

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Cincinnati

Posts: 97

See profile

Geez I'm so clueless. I am in OC with a man that I would love to meet. He's asked me out twice. The first time fell through, I believe it was legit. When he canceled that first time he followed it up with an invite to a casual dinner. I wrote back saying that sounded good and I'd still be interested in meeting him for dinner. THEN he sees me out in public but doesn't say "hi". Of course I was with a friend and a group of people, he said he didn't want to interrupt. But if he was interested, wouldn't he have approached me when he saw me? Either way, he hasn't followed through with the second meetup, you know, the one that he initiated and I said yes!?!?

So............tell me the obvious. "He's just not that into you." I can take it, I guess. Unless, of course, you think he's just intimidated by me!
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #2  January 16,2010, 12:56pm
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

It could be a lack of interest or it could be that he truly is busy or just plain shy. I always tell people in these situations that they have two options (well three really)

1. Stand by and wait for this guy to finally go forward -- but if it is indeed not interested or just too shy he may never go forward with it.

2. Confront him about it -- tell him you really want to meet him. If at that point things don't go anywhere and you are tired of just standing by or don't want to confront them than move to step 3.

3. Move on.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  January 16,2010, 12:59pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

rybelles wrote :
Of course I was with a friend and a group of people, he said he didn't want to interrupt. But if he was interested, wouldn't he have approached me when he saw me?

Of course not - you were with other people! I would never bother a woman if I spotted her with strangers. This is because she might be at an event related to her employment; thus it is her task to signal to me she wishes to recognize my presence.


rybelles wrote :
Either way, he hasn't followed through with the second meetup, you know, the one that he initiated and I said yes!?!?

It is possible he has reconsidered due to the situation you were in where he found you, based on what you had communicated previously ... still, this is his issue to deal with, and he needs to fulfill his commitments.


rybelles wrote :
Unless, of course, you think he's just intimidated by me!

No such thing.
 
  Reply With Quote
rybelles is offline rybelles Post #4  January 16,2010, 1:02pm
rybelles's Avatar

Salut!

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Cincinnati

Posts: 97

See profile

Thanks, of those 3 I see myself doing #1. If he is interested, I have to assume he'll eventually contact me again. Someday. Maybe. This really sucks though, because there are few people that I am interested in enough to set up a date and he's one of the few.

I WISH I could do #2 but there is a sense of pride and self-respect, ya know? I sent the last message so in my mind it's his turn. Especially because he's already asked me out twice...but to no avail.

Followup question: Do some men need a push? Even shy guys, if they are interested, wouldn't they push past the shyness and take a step forward to initiate (or at least follow through with) a date?
 
  Reply With Quote
rybelles is offline rybelles Post #5  January 16,2010, 1:05pm
rybelles's Avatar

Salut!

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Cincinnati

Posts: 97

See profile

D-Lion - Okay, he asked me to a football game because his brother didn't want to go and he had an extra ticket. His brother changed his mind and wanted to go, so no more ticket for moi. I ended up going with my girlfriend (playoff game...duh!) and get this...we bought tickets and ended up sitting 5 rows in front of him for the entire game! So...I disagree and I think he should have definitely "interrupted" and said hi. I'm a very outgoing person, probably was obvious to him throughout the game, and therefore approachable. Right?
 
  Reply With Quote
Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #6  January 16,2010, 1:06pm
Georgetheman's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 176

See profile

rybelles wrote :
Even shy guys, if they are interested, wouldn't they push past the shyness and take a step forward to initiate (or at least follow through with) a date?
Why should you expect him to do it if you won't?
 
  Reply With Quote
rybelles is offline rybelles Post #7  January 16,2010, 1:11pm
rybelles's Avatar

Salut!

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Cincinnati

Posts: 97

See profile

I thought I did? I said "yes" to the game, and he canceled. I said "yes" to dinner, and he hasn't gotten back to me yet.

So seriously, I want to meet this guy---you guys tell me. What step do I take? Don't most men get pushed away if a woman acts too, I don't know, interested? Tell me what you think.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  January 16,2010, 1:13pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,145

See profile

rybelles wrote :
D-Lion - Okay, he asked me to a football game because his brother didn't want to go and he had an extra ticket. His brother changed his mind and wanted to go, so no more ticket for moi. I ended up going with my girlfriend (playoff game...duh!) and get this...we bought tickets and ended up sitting 5 rows in front of him for the entire game! So...I disagree and I think he should have definitely "interrupted" and said hi. I'm a very outgoing person, probably was obvious to him throughout the game, and therefore approachable. Right?
OK, you "just happen" to end up 5 rows from him? He may be smelling stalker chick, even though you obviously were going to go to the game before, right?

Georgetheman wrote :
Why should you expect him to do it if you won't?
Ahhhh, but she did. She said yes. What more does she need to do? Call and make the dinner reservations?
 
  Reply With Quote
Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #9  January 16,2010, 1:17pm
Georgetheman's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 176

See profile

rybelles wrote :
I thought I did? I said "yes" to the game, and he canceled. I said "yes" to dinner, and he hasn't gotten back to me yet.
Drrr, I must have missed a sentence! Sorry.

Having reread the topic, I think the ball is in his court.
 
  Reply With Quote
rybelles is offline rybelles Post #10  January 16,2010, 1:22pm
rybelles's Avatar

Salut!

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Cincinnati

Posts: 97

See profile

Andielsme you crack me up. This was a playoff game in a stadium that seats maybe 50,000 people! I of course don't even know his last name yet, much less where he sits for a Bengals game. So in my romantic little mind, I'm thinking "Wow, of all the seats in this place, we are 5 rows from each other."

He sent me a message right after the game saying he saw me, he was sitting right behind me, but I was with a guy in a hooded sweatshirt so he didn't want to interrupt. There was a drunk guy hitting on me for a few minutes, but we left our seats because of it. I would have much rather sat with him and get to know each other. I told him that after I got his message.

He was either (A) being polite (I was with a group) or (B) he saw me and isn't interested.

Not much more I can do than say "yes", right?! Thanks!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Being the "Chosen One" | Dating | Monday, January 11th Weekend and Date Round Up! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
What is the divorce rate among eHarmony couples? Has anyone heard any stories? Mr. Nice Guy Using eHarmony 22 December 4,2010 1:48pm
Two matches start questions with me. Week later never heard from them. Stuck on 2 MQRegan Using eHarmony 3 October 20,2009 7:07pm
Feeling heard coeuri Christian Singles 9 October 20,2009 6:05am
I heard a good pickup line today... Mr_Right Dating 65 August 5,2009 12:22pm
What's the most ridiculous flake-out excuse you've ever heard? eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Dating 42 June 27,2009 10:06am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Come on, just because the guy is old and hasn't dated doesn't make him a toad. Lots of people have divorced and not dated in years due to job, kids, or whatever. You said he seemed nice. Maybe he is ... ” –  Altair

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“No, you have missed the point entirely. (Which is again evidence that raising children is far easier than most things.) Only a tiny fraction of motivated, able people succeed in reaching space. ... ” –  scubaroo

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“You need to try harder ... cus harder is always mo bettah!” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“I went hunting the other day and I bagged a deer.” –  myusernamehere

Join the “Good News” discussion

“Well, I'd start by trying to learn the reason. If he doesn't like "desk jobs," or respect corporations for perceived ethics, then maybe an entreprenurial venture is more his style? If he simply ... ” –  D_Lion

Join the “How to motivate a person?” discussion

“How to be happy with him? Chicks dig firefighters ...” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Ways to motivate him?” discussion

“Hi Suzanne, please see comments below in red. Overall, you seem to be a deep, sensitive and spiritual person. You have interesting hobbies and occupations. Remember there are hundreds and thousands ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “Seeking review of my profile: 52 yr old woman, Pittsburgh area” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:42pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0