So...why haven't I heard from him? Hmm.


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suzyblueeyes is offline suzyblueeyes Post #11  January 16,2010, 1:36pm
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I think the crazy stalker angle may be legitimate. It may be obvious to you that it was a complete coincidence, but to him it may look like you are some crazy stalker.

I had an eharmony match about a month and a half ago. We exchanged a couple emails about the *very* small town I live in (there are only about 12 buildings in the actual town). That weekend, I see a guy who looks just like this guy whose dog looks just like this guy's dog in my town. I was with my sisters at the time, so I didn't talk to him. I was kind of creeped out that some dude I had just emailed twice ended up showing up in my town which btw is at least a 45 minute drive from where he lives.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #12  January 16,2010, 1:50pm
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rybelles wrote :
Geez I'm so clueless. I am in OC with a man that I would love to meet. He's asked me out twice. The first time fell through, I believe it was legit. When he canceled that first time he followed it up with an invite to a casual dinner. I wrote back saying that sounded good and I'd still be interested in meeting him for dinner. THEN he sees me out in public but doesn't say "hi". Of course I was with a friend and a group of people, he said he didn't want to interrupt. But if he was interested, wouldn't he have approached me when he saw me? Either way, he hasn't followed through with the second meetup, you know, the one that he initiated and I said yes!?!?

So............tell me the obvious. "He's just not that into you." I can take it, I guess. Unless, of course, you think he's just intimidated by me!
Okay, so you hadn't ever seen him in person before that? Is that right?

And even though you had a date arranged it never happened?

If yes to both, do you look like your photos? I know thats a weird question but some people look very different in person
 
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rybelles is offline rybelles Post #13  January 16,2010, 1:52pm
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Well bummer. There is no way he could actually think I could (or would?!) want to find him in an NFL stadium and sit 5 rows in front of him. Of course he doesn't know me a bit, so I understand that conclusion.

OK, on to other matches, I suppose. Bummer.
 
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rybelles is offline rybelles Post #14  January 16,2010, 1:55pm
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Nanette wrote :
Okay, so you hadn't ever seen him in person before that? Is that right?

And even though you had a date arranged it never happened?

If yes to both, do you look like your photos? I know thats a weird question but some people look very different in person
Right - we've never met in person
Right - he asked me to do a few things, but we never had definite plans
Right - I look like I do in my photos...otherwise he wouldn't have recognized me.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #15  January 16,2010, 2:23pm
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rybelles wrote :
Right - we've never met in person
Right - he asked me to do a few things, but we never had definite plans
Right - I look like I do in my photos...otherwise he wouldn't have recognized me.
Well, someone can *look* like their photos to the point of where someone would recognize them from one, but the in person presence can be different.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #16  January 16,2010, 2:24pm
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rybelles wrote :
Andielsme you crack me up. This was a playoff game in a stadium that seats maybe 50,000 people! I of course don't even know his last name yet, much less where he sits for a Bengals game. So in my romantic little mind, I'm thinking "Wow, of all the seats in this place, we are 5 rows from each other."

He sent me a message right after the game saying he saw me, he was sitting right behind me, but I was with a guy in a hooded sweatshirt so he didn't want to interrupt. There was a drunk guy hitting on me for a few minutes, but we left our seats because of it. I would have much rather sat with him and get to know each other. I told him that after I got his message.

He was either (A) being polite (I was with a group) or (B) he saw me and isn't interested.

Not much more I can do than say "yes", right?! Thanks!
I see what you mean. But you didn't say you were planning on going to this game anyway. So, why did you go? Yeah, it was the playoffs, but I remember "doing" things just because I knew there was half a chance I would run into a guy I liked.

I come from a very small area. That stadium could hold the entire city I live in plus some. So, coincidences are not always coincidences.
 
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rybelles is offline rybelles Post #17  January 16,2010, 2:34pm
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Andiels - Sure, I've done that before...you know a guy will be somewhere so you go too.

But actually the reason he asked me to go to the game in the first place is because I told him I was planning on going but hadn't talked my girlfriend into it yet. I love football, we talked about it a bit. He responded with "I have a ticket and would love for you to go with me." So yeah, I was going regardless. I don't think it was a coincidence...couldn't have been.

Nanette, personally I think you either do or do not look like yourself in a photo. And clearly I did. Kinda looked cute that night, too. Maybe the person thinks you will be different, thinks they "know" you based on those photos. But physically, of course you look the same.

I think he didn't like what he saw and bailed. Which is fine, happens to all of us. But then why message me just to tell me that you saw me? Only to blow me off?

I got my hopes up. I really did. He seems like my "kind" of guy. Would have liked to have at least met him. I don't understand men, I tell ya.
 
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itsabeatutifulday is offline itsabeatutifulday Post #18  January 16,2010, 3:22pm
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rybelles wrote :
He sent me a message right after the game saying he saw me, he was sitting right behind me, but I was with a guy in a hooded sweatshirt so he didn't want to interrupt. There was a drunk guy hitting on me for a few minutes, but we left our seats because of it. I would have much rather sat with him and get to know each other. I told him that after I got his message.
Do you think he may have thought you were on a date with the guy in the hooded sweatshirt. Don't know many guys who will approach a woman they think is on a date. Just my my .02 cents.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #19  January 16,2010, 7:45pm
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If I was to see a match that I had never yet met out in public I would not approach her to say Hi. Particularly if she was with friends and doubly if she was with a group of friends.
 
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rybelles is offline rybelles Post #20  January 16,2010, 8:13pm
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He may have thought I was "with" the guy, or that I was interested in him or something. But after he messaged me saying he saw me, I wrote back and made it clear that I was with my friend and wish he had said hi or something. Flirty casual, but made it clear I was still very interested.

GR8Guyn - thanks for your input. I reversed the situation and I wouldn't have approached him, either. I wouldn't have felt comfortable.

Still left with the lingering quesion: what the heck? why no contact since after the game? I'm really bummed about it.
 
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