Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #1  January 15,2010, 9:06pm
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So I first separated from my now ex-wife almost a year ago (but I am divorced). I've been trying this internet dating thing for a few months with lackluster results, that is, until tonight. I've been on 3 dates this week alone. But I wasn't interested in any of them until tonight.

I think I did alright and got some indications of interest. But I just don't know how to read women anymore. I need some help here...

We started out meeting at a bar for drinks. The conversation was good. I picked up some signals with her running her hand through her hair, touching my arm occasionally, etc. Then the place we were at got too loud with this horrible band playing, so we left to go where we could hear each other and talk. Again, conversation flowed well. Next thing I know, its 12:00, and we had been out for 5 hours. I'm thinking, I couldn't have been too boring if she stayed out with me this long. Yeah, I overanalyze. I tend to be really self conscious when I'm with a woman I consider "out of my league" or I'm very attracted to. But I think I did ok.

At the end of the night, I walked her to her car and we had a nice, long hug. She said "call me, you have my number", as if she was interested in seeing me again. I said "OK, I will", and that was the end of the date.

So what should my next move be? She works a lot, but I want to see her again soon. I know she's off on Monday, but I'm working. Should I try to go out with her Monday night? If so, what do I plan? I don't want to just do dinner and a movie. She's new to the city and I want to show her a good time. I need some suggestions on how to A. plan a good date, and B. Not come off too eager. Heck, its been 8 years since I've been out with a woman I wanted to see again. The last one I married.

I know I can't cook her dinner and have her come over because my ex-wife took most of the furniture and I haven't replaced it. I'm embarrassed to have a woman over to my place until I redecorate.

We really hit it off and I don't want to lose this window of opportunity. This is a woman who can have ANY guy she wants. How do I proceed here?
Last edited by Atlguy38; January 16,2010 at 5:17am.
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #2  January 15,2010, 9:11pm
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Atlguy38 wrote :
So what should my next move be? She works a lot, but I want to see her again soon. I know she's off on Monday, but I'm working. Should I try to go out with her Monday night? If so, what do I plan? I don't want to just do dinner and a movie. She's new to the city and I want to show her a good time. I need some suggestions on how to A. plan a good date, and B. Not come off too eager. Heck, its been 8 years since I've been out with a woman I wanted to see again. The last one I married.

I know I can't cook her dinner and have her come over because my ex-wife took most of the furniture and I haven't replaced it. I'm embarrassed to have a woman over to my place until I redecorate.

We really hit it off and I don't want to lose this window of opportunity. This is a woman who can have ANY guy she wants. How do I proceed here?
First of all, congrats. Second of all, call her and invite her out Monday evening to a quick tour of the city, if she's interested. You said she's new. Why don't you show her the places YOU like to go to (even if you can't get in because it's closed or something). Good luck, mate!
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #3  January 15,2010, 9:37pm
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Atlguy38 wrote :
So I've been separated from my ex-wife for almost a year now. ...

Should I try to go out with her Monday night? If so, what do I plan? I don't want to just do dinner and a movie. She's new to the city and I want to show her a good time. I need some suggestions on how to A. plan a good date, and B. Not come off too eager.
Glad you had a fun 1st date, Atlguy!

If you're separated but not divorced you may have trouble finding a woman who is eager to start a relationship with you. Most women I know would figure you aren't ready.

But assuming this woman is interested, you could call her Monday since it's her day off, and invite her on another date later in the week. Since you just met her, I would think that a 2nd date a week after the 1st one would be a good pace considering her busy schedule. She'll probably need several days notice, too.

Since she's new to the area, are there any cool rooftop restaurants / bars where you could cozy up and point out the landmarks? That might be a fun idea...definitely don't see a movie...

Good luck!
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #4  January 15,2010, 9:42pm
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A few good second dates: miniature golf (is there an indoor place near you, for this time of year?) or a game of pool at a billiards hall (the sexiest dates I've been on included playing pool). A comedy club is a good choice... built in laughter. The zoo here has several great indoor exhibits (desert dome, rain forest, aquarium), and it's not just for kids. Ice skating could be fun, too.

A movie would be a bad choice... you'd spend most of the evening not talking, which doesn't let you get to know each other at all. However, if you went to an early showing and then went somewhere afterward to share a bite to eat and a drink while talking about the movie and other things, that could be okay.

Good luck!
 
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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #5  January 15,2010, 9:50pm
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Give her a call Sunday night and tell her that you had a really good time with her on Friday night and that you'd like to see her again. Then, ask her which days work best for her. Good luck
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  January 15,2010, 10:05pm
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Hey! I've been wondering where you went!

Glad to hear you went on a great date!

Let's see, second date... I like WW's ideas. I don't know you area, so I'm going to stab a bit. Outdoor music. (too cold?) Indoor music. Car show. Walk at a local park, feed the ducks/swans/whatever. Maybe a stroll through the "downtown" or "old town" district. Bowling! I had a boyfriend that had a great butt and I loved watching him bowl. Silver tab Levi's!

Have fun!
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #7  January 15,2010, 11:09pm
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I hope on the next date you come clean and tell her you are not divorced yet, that you are separated with NO possibility to reconcile and the date the decree is final.


She sounds deserving of this truth before she decides whether to carry on dating you. (And any good woman does also for the matter of that...). I feel this is only fair to her.

I hope you do too.
Last edited by 6dle899; January 15,2010 at 11:11pm.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #8  January 16,2010, 2:47am
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I like GEF2's approach. If she's eager and ready to see you Monday, she'll suggest Monday. But asking her what day is good for her doesn't put pressure on her to decline Monday if she already has plans or thinks it's too soon to see you again. It gives you an idea of what pace is comfortable for her.
 
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kindofaquirk is offline kindofaquirk Post #9  January 16,2010, 4:06am
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Ask her to go ice skating at Centennial!!!!!!!!

Grab dinner beforehand at a restaurant downtown and then go ice skating. After ice skating, be sure to plan your route home so that you pass by several touristy spots like the World of Coke, Aquarium, High Museum, Fox Theater, etc. It's a nice lead in...

You: "And here is the aquarium. They do a really great Jazz night there on Friday nights..."

Date: "Oh really? That sounds fun! We should go!"

You: "I'd love to. Are you free this Friday?"



Seriously though. I would swoon if a guy asked me to go ice skating. Such a cute date.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  January 16,2010, 4:44am
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Atlguy38 wrote :
She said "call me, you have my number", as if she was interested in seeing me again. I said "OK, I will", and that was the end of the date.

So what should my next move be?

A nice drive-through chapel in Nevada, perhaps?

Definitely call - she couldn't have been more clear about that. I would set something up for the following weekend, personally, though it seems most people are fine meeting during the week.
 
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