My Final Question (Hopefully) About This Situation - Goodbye Talk/Meeting?


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RocklinGirl82 is offline RocklinGirl82 Post #1  January 15,2010, 4:06pm
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Last edited by RocklinGirl82; December 4,2010 at 7:21pm.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  January 15,2010, 4:20pm
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I doubt this can be salvaged into an exclusive relationship which will provide you what you "need."

If you wish to go to dinner, in a platonic or social sense, by all means - and I agree a man will likely be forthright with you when he has no stake in your reaction.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  January 15,2010, 4:23pm
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ugh no. if you really feel the need for some reason, then i suppose, but it just seems a bit desperate-ish behavior that wont serve any real purpose and probably, in the end, wont make you feel any better about anything
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #4  January 15,2010, 4:26pm
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You are the one who has been over-analyzing and obsessing over this issue of "exclusivity" and wanted to be seen as and, CALLED a "couple" and "my girlfriend" --- right?

I think - from what we have been told here, and the way you have told it, he sensed you are trying to "corner" him, "trap" him, "smother" him, within a month of dating him.


We men can usually sense that. We don't like that.

At ALL. *Especially* that early.

He's *ALREADY* gone.

I am sorry. Don't do that next time....
Last edited by 6dle899; January 15,2010 at 4:30pm.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #5  January 15,2010, 4:28pm
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I think that you should avoid seeing him.

You should not contact him at all.

If he contacts you, then respond but wait for him to show interest in communicating with you. If it doesn't happen then he didn't care enough.
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #6  January 15,2010, 5:02pm
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bigfincat wrote :
I think that you should avoid seeing him.

You should not contact him at all.

If he contacts you, then respond but wait for him to show interest in communicating with you. If it doesn't happen then he didn't care enough.
I agree with the above wholeheartedly. You've stated your position. If HE wants things to change, he is going to have to initiate it. If you try to get closure for yourself, you might end up just pushing him away forever.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  January 15,2010, 5:02pm
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The reason he gave you was a bullsh*t answer.

You dont necessarily see him face to face you could try over the phone and just tell him you dont buy it and just want a straight answer.

The thing is, he might saying that excuse not to give the reason that wll hurt your feelings like its not really him but you because you are clingy and desperate...for example.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  January 15,2010, 5:10pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
You dont necessarily see him face to face you could try over the phone and just tell him you dont buy it and just want a straight answer.

If a woman said something so stupid to me, I would disconnect the call without another word.

In my life, long work hours have been one of the reasons women left me; thus, I would be right to be concerned that work hours would impact a relationship.

Further, coming with this emotional excess, and accusatory tone, is not conducive at all to a useful conversation.

And, it doesn't matter: if he has not the attraction to her, it is what it is unless she chooses to change.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #9  January 15,2010, 5:27pm
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So you saw each other for about a month, but he has been pulling back for two weeks. He doesn't want to stay exclusive or keep seeing you and says you two can be friends.

Guy-speak translation: I'm not interested anymore. I've been trying to be nice about it, but it's over.

He said he couldn't give you the attention you "deserve." In other words, he felt you wanted too much attention from him.

My suggestion is next time when you make a good connection, take things slower and allow things to develop more gradually.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #10  January 15,2010, 5:29pm
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no. that's just dragging it out, and y'all won't have enough distance on the situation to really give it a good evaluation.
 
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