...and then everything exploded!


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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #1  January 15,2010, 6:49am
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I posted about this girl a few days ago, but here's a quick recap.

Last semester she gave me "the look" all the time. But she mostly ignored me until we met at my church. On Saturday she called me out of the blue (got my # from her sister, who is a friend) and asked me to pick her up for church. I did, it was great, lots of flirting. We agreed to have lunch on Thursday. She called me before Thursday to see how I was doing.

She had to move the date to lunch today (rather than yesterday) because of a family emergency (grandparent in the hospital). I trust her on this because she was very apologetic and even said "or I can be back by noon on Thursday to be with you." I said no, you should be with your family, let's move it up a day.

So she called me yesterday nearly in tears. "George... I need your help." She works through what she's trying to say, and she has a boyfriend. But he wants to break up with her.

I said "well it sounds like you aren't ready for this."
She said "no, I am." (what the?!)

I said let's cancel lunch, we'll take a break from this. No; she wants to talk. So, we are having lunch in a little over an hour. :O

I am going to tell her that she needs to be single or I will not date her. But I do want to date her. I fully understand this may be a rebound situation, but we've been eyeing each other for months. I'm wondering if I pulled her away from her boyfriend.

I guess I just want some sympathy with this jacked up situation! :O I should have known it was too good to be true.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  January 15,2010, 7:16am
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Okay, So I've be following your posts on this girl..

I'm sorry to hear this has taken a turn into strangeville for you.. I'm sure it stings a bit. I think you have the right idea on your next steps

I would be *%@#^

I am confused on one thing..If her sister is your friend.. Why wouldn't she tell you her sister had a boyfriend?
 
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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #3  January 15,2010, 7:19am
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
I am confused on one thing..If her sister is your friend.. Why wouldn't she tell you her sister had a boyfriend?
I don't know. I think they've been cooking this up together--fine, sisters do that, right? She HAD to get my number from her sister, which means her sister knows what's going on.

On Facebook (I know, like that counts for anything) she lists herself as single.

I'm thinking she's confused on the status with the "boyfriend" and maybe her sister is trying to get her to break it off and go with me?

Thanks for your reply.
 
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nophotos is offline nophotos Post #4  January 15,2010, 7:41am
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I like your original plan - telling her you'll see her when she's available.

Why would she need "your help" to leave a boyfriend. Sounds like drama. Who needs that at the beginning?

Sorry to hear it took this turn.
 
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dwreese182 is offline dwreese182 Post #5  January 15,2010, 7:54am
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"Last semester she gave me "the look" all the time. But she mostly ignored me until we met at my church. On Saturday she called me out of the blue (got my # from her sister, who is a friend) and asked me to pick her up for church. I did, it was great, lots of flirting. We agreed to have lunch on Thursday. She called me before Thursday to see how I was doing."

You little heathens. You have the right idea though, nothing until she is single. Unless you are looking for something other than a relationship....then I say go for it.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  January 15,2010, 8:07am
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George, do you list your phone number on FB? It does show to your friends if you do. Just a thought on the phone number thing.

And tell this girl she needs to get herself out of that relationship before you will date her. Not right of her to do this to you, him or herself. And, a small word of warning, she may end up doing this to you as well. But at least she seems to have a conscious about the whole boyfriend thing.

Good luck!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #7  January 15,2010, 9:20am

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OP: Stay away from this girl. She's bad news.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #8  January 15,2010, 9:51am
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George,

All I can say is ~ don't get your feelings invested in this girl quite yet. Regardless of the situation REBOUND IS REBOUND. This also semi-qualifies for the "you're dating somebody who is with somebody else.". So basically you're facing a double-whammy here.

Stay platonic and as a friend and don't be too GOOD/CLOSE of a friend if you want to keep the "dating" possibilities alive. Don't act like you're uninterested, but stay firm with "now is not the best time... you have to get over this." And don't let her make you keep giving in either if you want to keep dating possibilities alive down the road.

Good luck.
Richey
 
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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #9  January 15,2010, 12:13pm
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She broke up with him last night. She was unhappy with him because he had trust issues with her.

She told me "I like you alot". I made it clear it was mutual. I asked her where she was at with her breakup and she said "my heart is pretty open". I asked her what she was looking for with me and she said whatever it turns out to be (essentially).

We talked about this stuff on the ride, and then had good conversation throughout lunch and after.

So I feel like we should take it slow, but I am not going to not date her just because she wanted out of her past relationship.

wrote :
George, do you list your phone number on FB
No. I don't use my phone much so I don't want random people calling me LOL.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #10  January 15,2010, 12:27pm
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Good luck with it, I hope it will go the way you want
 
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