50+ daters -- share your tips!

Interesting, the way this thread which might have been informative, has turned into a whine and cheese party.

I'm, 66-very soon to be 67. Been widowed for 5 years come next March. Started infrequent dating via friends of friends around 2 years ago and been more seriously dating via eH and Yahoo Personals about 18 months.

I date as often as I want to. Since marriage is not my primary, goal I probably go on more first and second dates than a woman seeking a mate for life. I have a fairly loose set of personal Must Haves and I really like meeting people, getting to know them. My profile says "Marriage is not my goal, but I'd be interested in a LTR if our connection heads that way." My preferred ages range from about 53 to 73 and I have dated outside that range both ways. I take care of myself, eat in a healthy manner and at first look appear to be about 50, or so I'm told.

As a member of eH, I sent first questions to EVERY match with a filled out profile and picture. The purpose was to meet people, not close them without a chance and I figured I could spend a couple of hours with just about anyone. On Yahoo, I send my profile and a short note to men whose profile I find interesting, requesting communication.

On first meets, which I request be at someplace like Starbucks and have a general 2 hour limit on available time. I arrive about 15 minutes ahead of time, buy my coffee, pick up a newspaper or bring my laptop and make myself comfortable to avoid that awkward coat hanging, "Buy you coffee?" getting settled rush.

A 2 hour time frame allows us to talk in a place set up for talking, I don't expect a man I've never met and may never see again to buy me dinner. If the meet goes well and the guy and I agree, I can always extend the time to include dinner or a local tavern for music. I always buy my own dinner and, if we go for drinks, I offer to buy the second round. Two drinks is my limit (I'm a cheap date). I usually will drive myself or both of us to another location if we decide to go. I like to have the first couple of dates someplace where we can talk and listen, rather than at the movies or a loud tavern, though I usually will agree to go listen to a live band and dance if the first meet has gone well.

For second dates I like to have dinner someplace nearby assuming he's from my area, if not I will meet him at a mutually inconvenient restaurant. I buy my own dinner again.

I read here over and over about women expecting men to pay for everything. I've dated men who can afford to do this, as well as men who can't. I simply prefer to pay my own way, and thats how I phrase it. I've never had a man act insulted because of this preference.

The majority of my first and second dates go no further because there is no sense of connection between us. If I want to stop dating a man, I tell him at the end of the date, or phone him or even email him that I don't think there is a connection and thank him for his time, wish him well and go on with my life. About 3 in 10 men do this as well, the rest poof. Neither a woman nor a man should have any expectations of a relationship forming after 2 dates, IMO.

I don't live in a large city but it has an active food, arts, theatre and music and outdoors activity scene so I suppose I should feel fortunate.

So those are my tips-and I agree with the poster who said that it's important for men and women of any age to take care of them selves, to have an active life outside of dating and I am quite content with the way my life is right now.

I had a lovely second date last night with a nice (49 year old) man I met New Years Eve. This is younger than my usual dating range but I'm not opposed to going out with an attractive educated guy who is 4 years older than my oldest kid. I have a 4th date tonight with a Yahoo Personals match who I first met in September but have seen twice in the past 2 weeks. And I have a 'football watching party' fix up with a friend of a friend tomorrow.

As I said, I date as often as I want.