GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #1  January 13,2010, 6:42pm
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I'll try to make this one short

I met a guy thru another site on Sunday and we IM'd and 45 minutes later, he asked me out for this Friday. He even suggested coming to my neighborhood (he lives at least an hour away, maybe an hour and a half) and even said that he could drive me home after our date. He seemed really nice and it sounded like we had a lot in common. I spoke with him on the phone and again the conversation flowed and I liked what I heard. We seem to have the same sense of humor and I really enjoyed our conversation. He said that he'd call me tonight to finalize our plans for Friday. He calls me tonight and for the most part, our conversation went very good, but then towards the end, it got slightly awkward b/c we started talking politics (I know, a no no) but we both have similar views, so that was good. Then he asked me if I voted in the primary and I said that b/c of my schedule and I'm really busy, that I didn't and he sort of jokingly gave me a hard time about it. I told him that I normally vote by absentee ballot b/c I am registered at my old address and he started asking me questions about why don't I just change it to my current address. (There is a reason why I keep my old address on record). Anyway, I started to feel uncomfortable with him questioning me and I felt that this is personal and really none of his business. I guess I was put on the spot and I was honest with him and told him the truth instead of being evasive with him.

Anyway, right after that, he brought up our plans for Friday again and I figured he was going to set up a place to meet me. So I said, you're going to come to my neighborhood right? And he said that we should meet somewhere in the middle and that he'd call find a place to meet and call me tomorrow. I just said that was fine and I'll talk to him tomorrow. What the heck? Once again, I was thrown off guard with this and didn't know what to say, so I just said ok. I mean, I don't know this guy and I don't really want to be difficult. My problem is that HE was the one who originally said that he would come to me! Do you think that our awkward conversation had anything to do with him not wanting to put in the effort and come all the way to my area? I have to say that I'm a little disappointed now and I was really looking forward to meeting this guy. Why all of a sudden would he change the plans? And, btw, there isn't really anything that is halfway between us. And, I had already told him that there are a ton of great resturaunts in my area. What's up with him?
 
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goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #2  January 13,2010, 7:05pm
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Well, you already told him it was fine. Next time, if it is not fine, just say that you would prefer he come to your area or that you will think about it and let him know when he calls back, or you call back whichever. I know it's not always easy to have a reply if someone throws you off guard.

Awkward moments happen, sometimes it can cause a person to change their mind, other times can be laughed off. I don't know why he changed his mind. I guess you can ask him when he calls back.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  January 13,2010, 7:07pm
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Personally I would suspect that he is turned off in some way by your political views. I am going to go out on a limb and put my money on that he does not call you tomorrow to set up the date for Friday. Of my 1800 matches I have only had one mention politics which she did in Second Questions.

As an aside. I always go to my matches area for the first date. Or to the area of her choosing. In your situation where the distance is somewhat long between you but not too far of a drive for a date, the only reason to select a place halfway between would be because there are better restaurants than at either your or his location.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  January 13,2010, 7:08pm
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BTW according to your status line you don't need this guy anyway.
 
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chocoholic11 is offline chocoholic11 Post #5  January 13,2010, 7:16pm
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I agree mostly with the prior comments. I'm thinking about if I was this guy. If he's really as nice as you think or want him to be, he should have given you a reason as to why he was changing the plans. Assuming that he remembers your prior conversation and isn't dating 50 other women, lol. Some guys change their minds too, that could be it. Personally, I wouldn't expect much from this guy since he's already shown himself to lie and not be very considerate. Did you get his phone number? I'd suggest calling him on the phone to ask him the questions that you thought of later. It's better to have an uncomfortable discussion on the phone, as opposed to a face-to-face confrontation. Dating shouldn't have to be so much work either. If he really wanted to see you as badly as he made out on the prior calls, he'd be making more of an effort. Good luck!
 
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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #6  January 13,2010, 7:29pm
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[quote=Gr8Guyn2008;851450]Personally I would suspect that he is turned off in some way by your political views. I am going to go out on a limb and put my money on that he does not call you tomorrow to set up the date for Friday. Of my 1800 matches I have only had one mention politics which she did in Second Questions.

I really don't think he is turned off by my political views. We actually have similar views. And he was the one who brought up politics, not me. I was thinking that it might have something to do with the whole voting thing. I don't know. I always say that I won't let myself get caught off guard, but I'm not good when I'm put on the spot.
 
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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #7  January 13,2010, 7:32pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
BTW according to your status line you don't need this guy anyway.

LOL! He's one of the three. I've been out with the other 2 only once each. I have a 2nd date with one tomorrow and I'm still talking with the other. Nothing serious yet with any of them. I'm keeping my options open and seeing who I click with the best.
 
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goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #8  January 13,2010, 7:34pm
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Well, when or if he does call back, you can still say to him that he caught you off guard and after thinking about it, you would prefer he meet you in your area. He might think you are a bit flaky, though hopefully you will know for next time.
 
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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #9  January 13,2010, 7:48pm
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goosielucy wrote :
Well, when or if he does call back, you can still say to him that he caught you off guard and after thinking about it, you would prefer he meet you in your area. He might think you are a bit flaky, though hopefully you will know for next time.
That's what I was thinking. I do think that he'll call back. Hey, for all I know, all the awkwardness was in my own head. But anyway, I spoke to my dad and he gave me some good advice. He was like, no, he should be coming to you the first time. He said that when I speak with him tomorrow, just tell him that I was thinking about it and I prefer that he come to me the first time. And if he asks why, just repeat that I just prefer that he come to me-that I would feel more comfortable with that. He didn't seem to think that it would be a big deal. And if the guy makes it into a big deal, then I shouldn't go out with him. It sounds like good advice to me. Very reasonable.
 
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