Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #1  January 12,2010, 8:56am
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Last semester I always saw this girl in passing and she would stare at me. Turned out she is the sister of a female friend. This friend started coming to my church, so the sister started coming too. But she was always shy around me. She would smile and reply when I talked to her, but she seemed very shy.

So I added her on Facebook and chatted with her on Friday. She was very surprised and happy to hear from me. She said "I'm surprised you're talking to me on FB, I don't really talk to you at church." I said "why don't you?". The next day she called me out of the blue (got my number from her sister I guess) and asked me to pick her up for church. I was shocked, as I thought I was going to have to go after her, but she pretty much took the first step. Church was great, it seriously felt like a date. We are having lunch on Thursday.

I guess my question is, how frequently/infrequently should I communicate with her? I called her yesterday to set up the date. I would like to call her today to let her know I'm thinking of her, but I also DON'T want to rush things. I am not trying to play by "the rules"--ultimately I'm going to decide what I think is right. I'm just curious to hear what people think. I'm totally smitten with her and she seems to be with me as well, so much so that I am not looking for any other dating right now.
 
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Shelock_Homes is offline Shelock_Homes Post #2  January 12,2010, 9:05am
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ohhhhhhhhhhhh my gosh george! how often do you feel this way!???! WOW.. what a feeling!!! I get this feeling.. oh... maybe once every year to 3 years! oh wow.. and its so great!! when i get that feeling, i just love to ride that train as much as possible... if she is feeling it too.. mmmmm all the better. that must have been a big step for her to actually call you up lke that.. it takes a whole lotta courage for a girl to do that so you gotta respect it!!! i would make sure you get to know her as a person and as a dater or girfriend before you get too into it. so i would think of some questions to ask about what she is looking for, what kind of relationship partner.. YOU KNOW 2ND SET OF EHARMONY QUESTIONS!!! and shoot her a text that is saying you are thinking of her and cant wait to get to know her better.. then talk on the phone and be silly have fun and ask those questions. its really nice to get them out of the way up front so that when you too are together together, you can rest at ease knowing that you are truly compatible. then no awkward disagreements on personality types or dating styles pop up later (or lesser odds at least). bottom line.. all you need is love.. which can overlook so many things! take the time to get to know her deeply so she knows you care enough to ask those important things now. she'll be so much happier down the road once she knows you cared enough to ask.

keep us updated and have fun!
 
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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #3  January 12,2010, 10:41am
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wrote :
its really nice to get them out of the way up front so that when you too are together together, you can rest at ease knowing that you are truly compatible.
Thanks for your input... but I don't think the question of compatibility can be "gotten out of the way" through texting or phone conversation. That's why I want to date her, to see if we are compatible. We are already attracted to each other. If I could get this out of the way now I would just propose to her LOL. But this is real life, not a movie.

wrote :
that must have been a big step for her to actually call you up lke that.. it takes a whole lotta courage for a girl to do that so you gotta respect it!!!
Yes, I am WAY more attracted to her now! I thought she was too shy, but man she's a go-getter!

I guess my question is kind of retarded, but I still wonder if I should contact her before Thursday just to let her know I'm thinking of her. Does anyone have any input?
 
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goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #4  January 12,2010, 11:00am
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Sounds like you two really hit it off. I think a short message would be fine that you enjoyed being with her and are looking forward to your lunch on Thursday and if she feels like talking before then, then to call/message you. A message between dates is thoughtful and appropriate, I think and leave it up to her if she wants more communication than that at this early stage.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  January 12,2010, 11:02am
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No you don't need to contact her again to let her know, Take a page out of the old heinz ketchup commericals.. there needs to be a little....Anticipation!

If you do decide to contact her.. do it the morning of the date.. A simple text or email saying " I' m looking forward to tonight, See you soon"
 
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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #6  January 12,2010, 11:08am
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
If you do decide to contact her.. do it the morning of the date.. A simple text or email saying " I' m looking forward to tonight, See you soon"
She doesn't have internet and I don't have texting lol.

wrote :
I think a short message would be fine that you enjoyed being with her and are looking forward to your lunch on Thursday and if she feels like talking before then, then to call/message you. A message between dates is thoughtful and appropriate, I think and leave it up to her if she wants more communication than that at this early stage.
I can't text or email her, so it's a phone call or nothing. I may just hold off.

Thanks for the replies.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  January 12,2010, 11:31am
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How often to call is a very difficult question to answer. Each person is different. Unless you are a mind reader then the best way to find out how often to call her would be to ask.

Since you have set up a date for Thursday it would be natural to call her a day or two before the date just to make sure everything is still on for Thursday.
 
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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #8  January 12,2010, 12:06pm
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Well, she called me just now to see how I was doing! So never mind my little conundrum! I'm a happy guy.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #9  January 12,2010, 2:27pm

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The Rules are--there are no rules.

Go by what your heart is telling you to do.

The 3 day rule--it's games and just silly. If you want to call her-call her. Tell her you had a good time, tell her you are looking forward to your next date.

She apparently doesn't know there are supposed to be rules about girls calling guys-and good for her. You guys might just have a good chance of having a fun time together.

Try to not set artificial barriers up where none exist. Life isn't nearly as complicated as people here make it out to be. Confusing at times? Yep. But go with your feelings and I hope you have a great time.
 
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ltj559 is offline ltj559 Post #10  January 12,2010, 7:37pm
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Ive personally found that creating a little bit of anticipation is a good thing.

You dont have to text her everyday. Make her wait a little bit for it and she will appreciate it even more when it actually happens. I agree with the poster that said if you call her at all to do it on the morning of the date just to say that you are looking forward to it.

However personally I think texting out of the blue to tell her that you are thinking of her after the first date is a bit soon. She may want you to feel this way, but that doesnt mean she wants you to express these fellings to her so soon.
 
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