Not returning phone calls. A new phenomenon?


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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #1  January 10,2010, 11:18pm
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Is not returning phone calls at all, be it days later a new phenomenon? Left a message with another one yesterday, and still no phone call back. What is going on here? Why would someone, now two of them, tell me to call and yet not return my call? On this one, I even e-mailed a two days prior stating I would call this weekend. Now I receive texts and calls all day, so I know the cell is working. So what am I missing here?
Last edited by joeyjoe; January 10,2010 at 11:21pm.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #2  January 11,2010, 12:10am
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I can't explain WHY they say "call" and then ignore you. but, it's not new. It happens all the time. But the end result is, back off a bit and let them come to oyu at this point.

They may not ~ means they're not interested.
If they do ~ then if they're legit they'll apologize for the delay and explain why it took some time to get back.

Remember, "life happens" and it could be a million reasons why soembody doesn't return their calls right away. Family emergencies, accidents, busy at work, etc.

Richey
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #3  January 11,2010, 2:47am
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The number of reasons for not returning a phone call are many, including things that have nothing to do with you. Life situations can keep people from pursuing relationships.

New? The very first phone call made by Thomas Edison was never returned... but then I don't think he left a message... My history on this might be a little fuzzy...
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #4  January 11,2010, 6:14am
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in my book... there's really no big excuses for not returning phone calls. responsiveness is one of the top traits that I look for in a potential partner, and if after we've started talking, if they are not responsive, it's time to cut them loose.

Now, if this is just the beginning, and you have not yet met, then understand their reasoning after they've called back. once a guy I was initiating communications with was traveling, so it took him days to get back to me.

but, make sure it's not a red flag and sign of things to come. if you like steady communications, and your potential partner does not require it, there may be a mis-match.
 
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goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #5  January 11,2010, 9:18am
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Well, you can always look at it this way: you're 9 first meets is being whittled down to a more manageable number. When a girl says 'call me', it's sometimes the female equivalent of the man's 'I'll call you'. If they are not calling back, they're probably not interested. I wouldn't dwell on it.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  January 11,2010, 11:06am
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This has been around as long as the phone.

If the other person is a woman, sometimes the answer is as simple as "I won't call a man," which ends up meaning you never talk to her except if she happens to answer when you call.

Unfortunately some of these same folks will blame you for the fact that they haven't talked to you in 2 weeks, even though you called and left multiple messages.

I say get used to it, since it's pretty common.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #7  January 11,2010, 11:12am

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JoeyJoe...sorry in advance if I'm tough on you a little bit. Aside from some women maybe flakers or they give out phone numbers and don't call, etc. This seems to be a recurring theme with you. I feel like there are important details missing from your posts, or maybe there's something about your approach or somethin that makes them not call you back (or call you in the first place)...and some women might give you their cell phone because at that time they felt that they're being put on the spot and felt that you wouldn't take no for an answer and they just gave you their number to block you later on.

Just my thoughts.
 
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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #8  January 11,2010, 12:10pm
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How so PY? Since this is through eharmony, there is no physical contact as of yet. If we get to open communication, I say great to get to this stage. If you are open to it, lets meet for coffee or something.

They then precede to reply and usually say yes with give me a call and we can set it up.

I call and leave a message. Something like Hey its Joe from eharmony. Just wanted to chat for a bit, give me a call back when you have some time. I'm at 203-555-1212-. Bye.

So, I ask you, where did I screw up? This is for verbatim here.


As for the 9 delights. Here's the current breakdown:

1) Won't return phone calls. - DOA
2) Met Friday, nice one, but just not physically attractive.
3) Met Saturday, very attractive and intelligent. Spent several hours talking over drinks. Asked if she wanted to do something again, she said yes. Calling on Wednesday to make plans for Friday. We'll see if she brushes me off too.
4) Won't return phone calls. - DOA
5) Won't return e-mails anymore. - DOA
6) Meeting tomorrow for drinks.
7) E-mail and talking stage.
8) E-mail and talking stage.
9) Dropped off the face of the earth. - DOA

9 now down to 5. # 8 is also nice, but not sure if that is going anywhere. So, in actuality, there is 3 left. Of these # 3 I am most attracted to mentally and physically. Then again, I did not see the other two yet in real life. She seemed interested, as she gave me direct eye contact all the time, knees and hands touching, and mirroring my posture. So, we'll see on what she says on Wednesday. Though, when I asked her on Saturday, she said, should be ok, but need to check to make sure. So, she left a loop-hole. My guess, she'll probably either not return my phone call or say she's busy.

Its just how it is... Its tough here in the mean streets of Stamford and Greenwich.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  January 11,2010, 12:13pm

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If they gave you their phone number, strictly from Eharmony and not answering, then yeah maybe they're flaky.
 
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joeyjoe is offline joeyjoe Post #10  January 11,2010, 12:25pm
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Yea, I have all there numbers. The one on Saturday I took a chance and went down there. Glad I did, as she texted me a few minutes before the meet and said she'll be there in a few mins. So, that is how I got hers. Would of felt really bad if she was there and I stood her up. It just is not a cool thing to do. Well, either is not returning my call. If you don't want to talk to me, then why give me your number? Makes no sense.
 
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