Communication dragging


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activeteacher is offline activeteacher Post #11  January 10,2010, 7:06am
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qt_py wrote :
Why are you wasting your time on losers? Wait 3 days and then close them out and move on.
Where did this magic number of THREE days come from? Why not 3 days, 2 hours, 10 minutes, and 1 second? or 3 hours, 2 minutes, and 1 second?

If someone is living life, they may not get to their online stuff for various reasons. They lose. If someone answers immediately, every time, they are not living life and ... guess what?! ... they lose!
 
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qt_py is offline qt_py Post #12  January 10,2010, 9:51am

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Where did this magic number of THREE days come from? Why not 3 days, 2 hours, 10 minutes, and 1 second? or 3 hours, 2 minutes, and 1 second?

If someone is living life, they may not get to their online stuff for various reasons. They lose. If someone answers immediately, every time, they are not living life and ... guess what?! ... they lose!
In this world of emails (home and work) and cell/smart phones, don't tell me people don't check their emails at least once every 3 days.

Unlike some people, I have no desire to wait 40 days for someone to return an email or phone call. If you are one of those who do wait 40 days... get the hint, they're not that interested in you.

Also, if someone is "living life", what the heck do they need eh for?
Last edited by qt_py; January 10,2010 at 10:40am.
 
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grlnxtdr is offline grlnxtdr Post #13  January 10,2010, 10:12am
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I would say close the guy out. He doesn't seem to be putting forth a lot of effort to get to know you. Some people get on this site just because they want to be player players, and it is just a numbers game to them. But these type of people are going to do the bare minimum to continue comminucation, and they will give short unexpressive replys to questions.

Yes, life happens people get sick, people die, people move, people lose jobs etc, but either I have been very lucky or I have been meeting alot of people with very bad luck, because, I have chatted with guys who seem to have gotten all of the above in a matter of a few weeks, they lost their job, had to move, friend got sick, dog ran away and they couldn't write. I close those types out right away, because they are either a Liar, Liar Pants on Fire, or they have the worst luck in the world and I don't need any of that bad luck rubbing off on me.

And...on top of all that, if the guy is even have way considerate of other people, if he had all that going on in his life...there is always the "I have too much going on in my life," option to close you out. It takes two seconds to push it, he could close out all his matches, and then stop receiving matches to focus on getting a new job, finding his dog, moving, and finding a cure for his friend.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #14  January 10,2010, 11:19pm
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Yes... this has happened to me (it's happened to everybody). Unless youv'e found somebody else I'd leave them open ~ I mean why not? It's no skin off your back right?

One of my matches actually took like 3-4 weeks to respond (she is very busy... she said she was very busy in her profile lol... ). She was very apologetic but it was cool with me and nothing to me ~ why get on a person's case because they have a busy and productive life?

Isn't that what we all want in a partner anyway? Somebody who isn't going nowhere, laying around doing nothing, and has no direction?

So if somebody is taking a while... cut 'em some slack. Maybe you'll never date them (I never did date the person in my example), but did it really cost you anything to keep them open?

Richey
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #15  January 11,2010, 11:34pm
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Thanks everyone, I have kept the match open and received a response after yet another lengthy period of time. Granted the open communication is only 2 sentences. Yeah, it kind of bites the big one.

I almost want to write and say: If you don't have time to date, it's okay you can let me know. If you're not really interested, it's okay you can let me know. If you have other things that you deem more important that investing in taking the time to date, it's okay you can let me know. I'm so less than thrilled. I think I'm going to sit on this one and think whether I want to invest my time in someone who is beginning to be rather lack luster and seems rather non committal even in writing.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #16  January 12,2010, 12:33am
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qt_py wrote :
Unlike some people, I have no desire to wait 40 days for someone to return an email or phone call. If you are one of those who do wait 40 days... get the hint, they're not that interested in you.
It's not like waiting around in this case is some active thing that prevents you from undertaking something else. You certainly don't have to invest any time or emotion into a profile that's not responding. I figure the chance of a non-responsive match turning into something is very small, but the cost of keeping the match open is zero, so what the heck, why not?
 
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