GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #1  January 6,2010, 8:48pm
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Hi guys,

I have a date with a guy tomorrow who seems over eager about me. Here's a background: we met on another site a few months ago and spoke on the phone. He seemed really nice, but I ended up telling him that I felt we were too different as far as activity level and I didn't think we'd be compatible long term. I wished him luck in his search and I dated other people. Last week, out of the blue, he emails me to wish me a happy new year and said that he couldn't believe I was still on the site-he'd figured I would've found someone by now. (He meant it as a compliment). Anyway, I wrote back and asked if he'd still be interested in meeting. I thought that maybe the last time I was too quick to judge and remembered how nice he seemed. He replied that of course-that he's always been interested in meeting me. Ok, well, I gave him my number again and we spoke on the phone. Very nice and normal. We set up a day to meet-tomorrow. Tonight, he emails me to say that he's looking forward to meeting me tomorrow and saying that if there's chemistry between us, that we'll do this and that, and that he's confident that I won't disappoint him and that he wants to cuddle with me because it would be romantic. I wrote back saying that I'm looking forward to meeting him too.

While I'm flattered that he seems really into me, I just want to know how to slow down. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by his email. I just want to go on the date and enjoy myself without any pressure. The reason I ask is because this has happened before with guys where they're so crazy into me on the first date and then they disappear. I just want him to pace himself. Is there something that I can do without turning him off to let him know that I want to take things slow? Its like these guys get infatuated with me and then get overwhelmed and bounce. What to do?
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #2  January 6,2010, 9:22pm

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lol!! The cuddling because it is romantic struck me as really funny.

He is either just really excited and does not know how to behave or he is desperate dater guy.

Go on the date and see which one he is. If his affection for you is out of place with what should be there for a first date, I would bid him farewell.

My flag would be up on this. Way too much too soon for my taste.

I would love to hear how this turns out. So keep us informed and good luck!
 
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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #3  January 6,2010, 9:35pm
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now that i reread it, the cuddling comment is pretty funny. I am slightly disappointed b/c he seemed so normal all this time-especially after dating many weirdos! Maybe he was kidding around? Hard to tell the exact tone from an email...
 
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richey is offline richey Post #4  January 6,2010, 10:16pm
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GEF,

If he continues to be over-eager to a concerning degree, then I'd just lay it out like you have and be honest with him.

Let him know you enjoy him, and would like to keep hanging out, but that you'd like to take it easy and enjoy the development process and not jump so quickly into everything. Explain that it is because of the past and how things you wished woudl have worked, didn't, and the common thread seems to be "when things were rushed initially." And because yo dont' want that to happen again (with him), if nothing else but out of superstition, you want to not rush things this time.

Being a guy, and if things were put that way to me by a female, I would be flattered, reassured, and at that point it would be up to me to accmodate so the realtionship could develop at a healthier pace.

Good luck.
Richey
 
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ComtesseGigi is offline ComtesseGigi Post #5  January 6,2010, 10:21pm
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He sounds crazy to me. I'd let him down gently. I mean if you feel like you don't have much in common why waste your time? You could be going out with someone you do have something common with or at least shopping for a new cute outfit.
 
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SweetKatieA is offline SweetKatieA Post #6  January 6,2010, 10:26pm
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Honestly, I'd just relax. Go on the date. If he still seems over anxious at that time then take Richey's advice or get the heck outta there. Be flattered he's so excited to go out with such a hawt chick.
 
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Shelock_Homes is offline Shelock_Homes Post #7  January 6,2010, 11:17pm
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ugh sounds sooo creepy! I'd be weirded out to meet w him but I'd be so in power. He wouldnt get ANY cuddling! And I might just flaunt some boobies in his face and deny him! He's just asking to get messed with.

But if you guys keep playing this for a while, it could be a real turn on to indulge him. Sometimes that turnon can lead to some very kinky playtime. and a weird yet slightly functional relationship.
 
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Seuss is offline Seuss Post #8  January 7,2010, 5:41am
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Shelock_Homes wrote :
ugh sounds sooo creepy! I'd be weirded out to meet w him but I'd be so in power. He wouldnt get ANY cuddling! And I might just flaunt some boobies in his face and deny him! He's just asking to get messed with.

But if you guys keep playing this for a while, it could be a real turn on to indulge him. Sometimes that turnon can lead to some very kinky playtime. and a weird yet slightly functional relationship.
Whoa! Not cool. The guy may be a little too eager, but taking advantage of him, humiliating him and turning it into a power play to stroke your own ego? That's just plain shiatty.

I mean, who hasn't been over-excited about someone? Who hasn't been the one with stronger feelings than the other person? Which of us hasn't leapt before we looked?

Go out with the guy and evaluate him in person, on his own merits. It's really the only way. Please don't humiliate him or use him to feed your own ego (not that this is what you were implying, OP--just don't follow Sherlock's advice, OK?).
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #9  January 7,2010, 6:12am
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He does sound pretty eager, which has the negative impact of rushing into things. My suggestion is to go on the date and figure this guy out. If you are attracted to him and want to continue seeing him and yet he still seems like he is rushing into things than tell him. Be direct, be honest, and hope for the best.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  January 7,2010, 6:23am
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GEF2 the first thing I will have to point out is that you should look at your status line. Maybe you are over eager?

I don't see any real red flags with this guy from what you have said.but I do tend to agree with Pooh that he may be a bit desperate.
 
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