Interracial Dating.. Is there really a difference?


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  January 6,2010, 7:39pm
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Ok, I went out on a first date with this match from EH. We are of different races. He told me how awesomely beautiful I am, and that he had dated a woman of my race before and so was totally cool with that. He warned me though... that other guys that I'm dating may not know how to date interracially. What in the world does that mean ! I asked him for specifics... and he just said there are differences and that I should just be prepared that a guy who has not dated interracially before could not know what to expect.

I'm trying to figure it out. I've started dating someone who has not dated interracially before, but we are hitting it off pretty well. I'm not sure if the first dude really knew what he was talking about, or if there are things that me and the new guy should be preparing for... but I just thought that was curious. Any ideas?

He was suggesting things like family issues, hair, friends, etc. I dunno... maybe I'm missing something . Have any of you run into any problems, and how did you deal with them?
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #2  January 6,2010, 8:01pm
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I've dated interracially and I don't think it makes too much of a difference if one person has before or not. It's strange that your date would mention this. I think it all has to do with chemistry, good communication, trying to understand each other, care for the other person's culture or how they were raised, etc. I think these are key to any relationship (interracial or not).

In fact I have dated men who prefer women of my race, and come into a date feeling superior with the knowledge of having dated my race before. They have made comments that they know all about me because their ex was the same race. It actually gets annoying to hear all the generalizations and is actually a turn off. I would rather them get to know me without all the stereotypes they have and generalizations.

So in the end it depends on the person, you may be better off with someone who has dated your race before and you may be better with someone who hasn't. Time will tell. Good luck!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #3  January 6,2010, 8:16pm

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Dating inter-racially for the most part is not as difficult as dating inter-culturally.

It is the assumption that one person shares the same culture because he/she is the same race.

Even those "Americanized" ones who have been in the US for a while, sometimes can struggle with this also.

From my experience dealing with international students before, certain 'cultures' may get along better with others...for example, Americans for the most part can get along with certain European culture, American/European men are open to Asian cultures, etc. I almost want to say Australians should be pretty open to Asian cultures since it's very close to South East Asia...but maybe my Aussie friends here can confirm....
Last edited by PY_2; January 6,2010 at 8:20pm.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #4  January 6,2010, 8:20pm
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I am curious to know what races you are talking about.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #5  January 6,2010, 8:22pm

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newbie40something wrote :
I am curious to know what races you are talking about.
I personally think it would be interesting for the OP to NOT reveal her race and let people share their opinion without having biased opinion on her....

That should be fun to read
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #6  January 6,2010, 8:32pm
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I understand. I was just curious because I am thinking of maybe dating outside of my race for the first time. Of course, I was married for 20 years, so this really has never been an issue before.
 
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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #7  January 6,2010, 8:33pm
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My ex bf of 2 yrs was a different race and it was my 1st time dating interacially. It was never an issue. It was never brought up because it didn't matter. We had a great time together and lots in common. Like someone else said-it would be harder to date someone of a different culture than of a different race. As long as someone is Americanized and we get along, have similar personalities and are attracted to each other, race should be irrelevant.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #8  January 6,2010, 8:37pm

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Eating culture: One time I invited somebody I dated to my place for dinner...and I told her, you know I'm going to eat the way people in 'that' country eat...with my bare hands.

Her laughter turned to when I casually scooped the rice with my hand and put it in my mouth

She recovered quickly though and we still saw each other long after that dinner
Last edited by PY_2; January 6,2010 at 8:38pm. Reason: No I dont eat with my bare hands all the time....I'm no barbarian!
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #9  January 6,2010, 8:46pm
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PY...Lol! That's funny. I guess I can see where cultural differences would be very challenging.
 
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Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #10  January 6,2010, 8:52pm
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PY_2 wrote :
Dating inter-racially for the most part is not as difficult as dating inter-culturally.

It is the assumption that one person shares the same culture because he/she is the same race.

Even those "Americanized" ones who have been in the US for a while, sometimes can struggle with this also.

From my experience dealing with international students before, certain 'cultures' may get along better with others...for example, Americans for the most part can get along with certain European culture, American/European men are open to Asian cultures, etc. I almost want to say Australians should be pretty open to Asian cultures since it's very close to South East Asia...but maybe my Aussie friends here can confirm....
I haven't travelled alot but I have dated around the world. I agree that differing cultures would be the biggest obstacle.
Like the time I dated the African-American gal from that foreign land called...the Bronx. Yeah, we had different views on many things. She was a very attractive gal but the attitude....

Race hasn't been an issue for me as I find all colors of women attractive and don't give a hoot what people think.
Some belief systems have been a problem though.
 
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