mari75 is offline mari75 Post #1  January 5,2010, 12:22pm
mari75's Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 3

See profile

question withdrawn
Last edited by mari75; January 6,2010 at 9:11am. Reason: extra info
 
  Reply With Quote
goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #2  January 5,2010, 12:38pm
goosielucy's Avatar

- Aflac

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2010

Canada

Posts: 267

See profile

So, if I understand you, it has been a year you've been just friends. You each 'went for it' on one or two occasions when you drank a bit too much early in the friendship and decided to pretend like nothing happened and still hang out over (mostly) lunch.

If you want more than just a casual relationship with this person, then you will have to speak up I think.

If I were you, I would pick a time to sit down with him and talk over your feelings and thoughts about one another. Sounds like you are each avoiding getting too close to one another in a romantic way for whatever reason(s).
Last edited by goosielucy; January 5,2010 at 12:39pm. Reason: grammar
 
  Reply With Quote
Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #3  January 5,2010, 12:38pm
Georgetheman's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 176

See profile

mari75 wrote :
And I know sometimes I pull away because of what happened in the beginning- I don't want him to think I am trying to corner him into something.
That's exactly what's going on in his head, I'm sure. Because something very unpleasant happened between you early on, he's afraid to make a move now. If I were in his situation, I would feel like I would never have a chance with you again. Even if I wanted it, I don't think I could follow through and make a move.

I think you should discuss it. It's the hardest conversation to start, but it will flow right along after you break the ice. Just start with something like "So... I know that early on, we were interested in each other. Well, we seem to be hanging out alot now, and... yeah... I'm still interested." If he has any relational skills at all, you'll be able to talk about it and figure out what to do.
 
  Reply With Quote
smiles6789 is offline smiles6789 Post #4  January 5,2010, 4:26pm
smiles6789's Avatar

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 1

See profile

Geez, I am in a very very similar situation: more-than-best-friends for a year and a half now. But when we first started hanging out, he shot me down with the "I just got out of a long relationship and am not ready for this." But starting just a couple months after that, we are now regularly intimate, talk on the phone at least once daily and hang out with each other more than anyone else. I do live an hour away so we only get to visit each other in-person on the weekends. He has even had talks with my friends when I wasn't around and says he really likes me but doesn't know what to do next.

Anyway, despite my confusion, I definitly agree with the other replies here and think you just need to sit down and have a talk. I know that's exactly what I need to do actually but am too scared it will mess things up and make everything awkward. I don't want to lose the "friendship" we have going on but if I want more, which I do, I think this is the only way to get any answers. So good luck to you and me (if I can ever conjure up the courage)
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« I've been told I'm very good looking---and I won't settle | Dating | Need Advice »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Insulted? by Boyfriend's Friends! What to do? voteoften Relationships 21 November 27,2010 6:18am
So you have a new guy in your life? What about your friends? Ladyjuju Dating 38 September 20,2010 8:24pm
Your "Top Ten" priorities JDavid Relationships 70 December 29,2009 8:45pm
Friends with Benefits -- one-sided benefit? nightling let's talk about sex 30 November 16,2009 6:02am
Being friends with your ex lilsun Dating 28 October 31,2009 9:34am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Come on, just because the guy is old and hasn't dated doesn't make him a toad. Lots of people have divorced and not dated in years due to job, kids, or whatever. You said he seemed nice. Maybe he is ... ” –  Altair

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“No, you have missed the point entirely. (Which is again evidence that raising children is far easier than most things.) Only a tiny fraction of motivated, able people succeed in reaching space. ... ” –  scubaroo

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“You need to try harder ... cus harder is always mo bettah!” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“I went hunting the other day and I bagged a deer.” –  myusernamehere

Join the “Good News” discussion

“Well, I'd start by trying to learn the reason. If he doesn't like "desk jobs," or respect corporations for perceived ethics, then maybe an entreprenurial venture is more his style? If he simply ... ” –  D_Lion

Join the “How to motivate a person?” discussion

“How to be happy with him? Chicks dig firefighters ...” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Ways to motivate him?” discussion

“Hi Suzanne, please see comments below in red. Overall, you seem to be a deep, sensitive and spiritual person. You have interesting hobbies and occupations. Remember there are hundreds and thousands ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “Seeking review of my profile: 52 yr old woman, Pittsburgh area” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:22pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0