Does Texting/IM-ing=Talking?? & Does Email=Meeting??


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #1  January 5,2010, 12:16pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

It seems that those who cyberdate have almost become a subculture and I've wondered if the younger online daters view communication differently than some of us who remember dating before the internet.

When communicating with someone new, do you consider texting or IM-ing pretty much the same as talking? Do you think that more of a connection is possible by speaking by phone instead?

Similarly, after you've emailed, texted, IM'd or spoken with someone by phone, do you consider that you've met? If you got matched with a guy 10 months ago for example, have you "known" him that long, even though you've never had a date??

Is this just tech-talk / semantics, or are there any ramifications here worth considering?
Last edited by lacedwithhope; January 5,2010 at 12:19pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wootz is offline Wootz Post #2  January 5,2010, 12:37pm
Wootz's Avatar

wants to be half as good as grandad was.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Appalachian Mountains

Posts: 1,670

See profile

Not sure how much 'younger' you are meaning, Laced. I'm twenty-nine, use IM and email but do not text (at all- disabled it on my phone). I don't consider I've really met a person until it is in person. There is too much that has to be assumed and imagined before then.

Think how often humor and sarcasm falls flat or is completely missed even here on the eha boards. You don't get to see emotions, facial expressions, body language. You don't get the pace of a conversation- full of empty or meaningful silences, speaking too quickly, finishing each other's sentences, and the like. There is definitely something missing when you are communicating digitally.
[FONT=Arial]
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #3  January 5,2010, 12:45pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

Wootz wrote :
Not sure how much 'younger' you are meaning, Laced. I'm twenty-nine, use IM and email but do not text (at all- disabled it on my phone). I don't consider I've really met a person until it is in person. There is too much that has to be assumed and imagined before then.

Think how often humor and sarcasm falls flat or is completely missed even here on the eha boards. You don't get to see emotions, facial expressions, body language. You don't get the pace of a conversation- full of empty or meaningful silences, speaking too quickly, finishing each other's sentences, and the like. There is definitely something missing when you are communicating digitally.
For example, I'm usually a quiet and reserved person in daily life. Unless you want to talk about books that its. *grin* Here, you don't see that so much. Emoticons or no, this really is a rather sterile environment (please don’t bring up viruses here, you know what I mean!).

For that matter, each method of communication has its quirks. I can recall sending letters through the snail mail, and how different that was form email now. They all lack something, in my opinion.

Though, in some cases, that’s a good thing. *grin*
You're twenty-nine?! I thought you were at least 30!

I'm glad to read that you see the differences in real-life encounters......I think that connection is based on the non-digital stuff...
 
  Reply With Quote
theweave is offline theweave Post #4  January 5,2010, 12:49pm
theweave's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2008

Posts: 283

See profile

IM'ing, chatting or emailing is more of a pen pal thing IMO. You don't really know a person until you meet them in real life. Even by telephone it is tough to gauge emotions and simple jokes can be mis understood easily (trust me I know!).

Until you meet them in real life, you don't really "know" the person!
 
  Reply With Quote
Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #5  January 5,2010, 12:51pm
Georgetheman's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 176

See profile

lacedwithhope wrote :
after you've emailed, texted, IM'd or spoken with someone by phone, do you consider that you've met?
Hell no! Email, text, IM is just bits and bytes. It could be some crazy creeper pretending to be the age/gender you're looking for. Typed words do not form relationships. Relationships form from spoken words, body language, and actions done in each other's presence.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #6  January 5,2010, 12:58pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

Georgetheman wrote :
Hell no! Email, text, IM is just bits and bytes. It could be some crazy creeper pretending to be the age/gender you're looking for. Typed words do not form relationships. Relationships form from spoken words, body language, and actions done in each other's presence.
Great points there, Mr. Double Hockey Sticks!
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #7  January 5,2010, 12:59pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

theweave wrote :
IM'ing, chatting or emailing is more of a pen pal thing IMO. You don't really know a person until you meet them in real life. Even by telephone it is tough to gauge emotions and simple jokes can be mis understood easily (trust me I know!).

Until you meet them in real life, you don't really "know" the person!
Have you ever had to apologize or explain a joke-by-telephone-gone-wrong? Did you try doing it by email?
 
  Reply With Quote
Wootz is offline Wootz Post #8  January 5,2010, 1:03pm
Wootz's Avatar

wants to be half as good as grandad was.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Appalachian Mountains

Posts: 1,670

See profile

lacedwithhope wrote :
You're twenty-nine?! I thought you were at least 30!

I'm glad to read that you see the differences in real-life encounters......I think that connection is based on the non-digital stuff...
At least you didn't say 40... *grin* Even in person, people often think I am older than I really am.

Now that I think of it, that might be why I usually end up spending more time with people older than I am... I am too stuffy for the spring chickens around here! *grin*
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  January 5,2010, 2:22pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,673

See profile

lacedwithhope wrote :
Is this just tech-talk / semantics, or are there any ramifications here worth considering?

Definitely not semantics, but possibly a devolution in human behavior.

A date is a meeting with the intent pf exploring the suitibility of a person for a romantic or intimate relationship, and / or to select a spouse. Nothing short of a setting which enables this investigation to procede qualifies (I would say "coffee," movies, or any other short or non-attentive-to-each-other situation qualifies.)

Any electronic communication prior to this event serves only to orchestrate the logistics necessary to meet.
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  January 5,2010, 2:36pm
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

lacedwithhope wrote :

Similarly, after you've emailed, texted, IM'd or spoken with someone by phone, do you consider that you've met? If you got matched with a guy 10 months ago for example, have you "known" him that long, even though you've never had a date??
You can define the words however you want, but until you've met in person, you haven't really met. You don't even know for sure if the person you're communicating with is who they claim to be.

When I was in college, I knew a guy who fell in love with a girl he "met" online. Only problem was that she didn't exist. She was the invention of his friends playing a joke on him.

Ever since, when I hear people claim to be in love with someone they met online (but not in person), I take it with a huge pillar of salt.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Interracial Dating.. Is there really a difference? | Dating | Is it weird to confirm a first meet? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Come on, just because the guy is old and hasn't dated doesn't make him a toad. Lots of people have divorced and not dated in years due to job, kids, or whatever. You said he seemed nice. Maybe he is ... ” –  Altair

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“No, you have missed the point entirely. (Which is again evidence that raising children is far easier than most things.) Only a tiny fraction of motivated, able people succeed in reaching space. ... ” –  scubaroo

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“You need to try harder ... cus harder is always mo bettah!” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“I went hunting the other day and I bagged a deer.” –  myusernamehere

Join the “Good News” discussion

“Well, I'd start by trying to learn the reason. If he doesn't like "desk jobs," or respect corporations for perceived ethics, then maybe an entreprenurial venture is more his style? If he simply ... ” –  D_Lion

Join the “How to motivate a person?” discussion

“How to be happy with him? Chicks dig firefighters ...” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Ways to motivate him?” discussion

“Hi Suzanne, please see comments below in red. Overall, you seem to be a deep, sensitive and spiritual person. You have interesting hobbies and occupations. Remember there are hundreds and thousands ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “Seeking review of my profile: 52 yr old woman, Pittsburgh area” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:22pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0