goldengirl7676 is offline goldengirl7676 Post #1  January 4,2010, 8:49pm
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Hey all,

I've been matched with a guy who so far has been absolutely terrific. While I'm plenty smart enough to not pin all my hopes on one person, I still think this guy has something special about him (not sure how to explain it) and I am looking forward to seeing how this goes. There's one catch -- he is serving in Afghanistan until mid-Nov. of this year. He even noted on his profile that with him, long-distance is going to be the deal for the next year.

Anyway, we have been communicating back and forth through email and IM a good bit, but we won't be able to meet in person for quite a few months. I guess what I was wanting to know is have any of y'all ever been matched with someone in a similar situation and, if so, what was your experience like? Also, do y'all have any good tips on how to keep the conversation flowing?

Thanks, guys!
 
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amysnaps is offline amysnaps Post #2  January 4,2010, 10:37pm
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my only advice is to keep yourself in check. By not meeting someone in person for that long, you can quickly become very comfortable with a person you think you know. It is always easy to show your best side (and him to do the same) over the internet, so you need to keep things in slow motion.

I also recommend not committing to him either, don't close matches or expect him to, keep it light until you can spend real quality time together, you dont want to miss out on someone else because you waited for a guy who turned out to be different that what you imagined online.

All said from personal experience, not assumptions =)
 
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BlackenedWolf is offline BlackenedWolf Post #3  January 4,2010, 11:45pm
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I have to agree with amysnaps on taking it slow. My dad was in the military and it takes a certain person to be able to handle this. Dont forget its going to be a lot of long distance, even past the november. My dad has gone on tour for 6 months, come home for two months and then shipped back for another 6. It has lightened up as this was closer to 2001. It is VERY hard. Of all the married couples that I grew up with on the base only a few have made it.
Enough of being a negative nancy though. Talking about events happening in the country will help keep him informed, flirt with him, keep it upbeat. Once you get to know him better send him a goody box. My mom use to do this. put stupid little things like candy that wont melt, books, etc.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #4  January 5,2010, 12:27am
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being a military adds some dimensions, but i wanted to say i have some online friends who met online and got engaged before they ever met face to face. i went to their wedding with another friend, having never met either her or them in person. it was just like getting together with old friends.

... and you know, i think that having a personal community online, not being in a bubble, was a factor. being a couple is a community affair, i think. IMHO, it means making yourself answerable to the community and it requires community support to succeed. it helps you triangulate who a person is better, and you get witnesses.

so i'd suggest, if this person is serious, get your friends and family online with him.
 
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