Do you give your name, or ask their name, before a date?


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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #1  January 4,2010, 3:25pm
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After a few open communications, I sent a match my e-mail - since the free weekend is coming to an end.

She replied to ask my last name.

Now, from other threads this is probably to find the scary things in my background check, like the long list of skateboard violations and that time I "borrowed" a B-52 from edwards air force base.

I could answer, close, or play some detente.

Who asks for matches names?

Who has been asked, and did you answer?
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  January 4,2010, 3:28pm

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D_Lion wrote :
After a few open communications, I sent a match my e-mail - since the free weekend is coming to an end.

She replied to ask my last name.

Now, from other threads this is probably to find the scary things in my background check, like the long list of skateboard violations and that time I "borrowed" a B-52 from edwards air force base.

I could answer, close, or play some detente.

Who asks for matches names?

Who has been asked, and did you answer?
I have been asked that before....and I hesitantly gave my name.

But it was not too bad because she emailed me from her work so I totally know her last name, etc. It was kinda a wash.

She was the only one who asked I think.
 
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Contango is offline Contango Post #3  January 4,2010, 3:34pm
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Hmm, I don't think I've ever been asked for my last name until after we'd met in person. I ask for his last name (unless he has already given it to me) whenever a man gives me his number-makes it easier to find in my phone that way.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #4  January 4,2010, 3:40pm

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I've never been asked for my last name, nor have i ever asked someone for it- if i have his phone number, i can find out his last name in the unlikely event he turns out to be a serial killer.

I'm assming that the woman who asked you did so for "safety reasons". misguided, but sometimes people don't think.

*shrug
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #5  January 4,2010, 3:40pm
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I've never been specifically asked my last name before, but with the few people I've met in person through online dating so far we've exchanged email addresses before we met in person, and in each case our email addresses included our last name.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #6  January 4,2010, 3:40pm
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D_Lion wrote :
...She replied to ask my last name...Who asks for matches names?...Who has been asked, and did you answer?
I won't give my last name or occupation. Too easy to Google...*

For guys the safety issues may be different, but I have to say that I'm always impressed when a guy offers his last name and business information prior to the first date. If it's a long distance thing, I'd expect this information before meeting in person. The men I've met have been fine with this.

*when I've been asked, I tell them I'd be happy to discuss it in person...
Last edited by lacedwithhope; January 4,2010 at 3:45pm.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #7  January 4,2010, 3:42pm
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I always talked on the phone before meeting and if they called me at any point, their name came up on caller ID, as would mine on theirs. Also, it was common to use regular e-mail after a few exchanges on eH and their name was usually revealed then as well as mine. If not, I don't recall being asked before I asked them their last name, but if I didn't know their last name by the first date, I would ask.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  January 4,2010, 3:43pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
I'm assming that the woman who asked you did so for "safety reasons". misguided, but sometimes people don't think.

That's what I thought.

It's a major red flag, as is the viewpoint to be fearful in the first place.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #9  January 4,2010, 3:46pm

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D_Lion wrote :
That's what I thought.

It's a major red flag, as is the viewpoint to be fearful in the first place.
I wouldn't automatically assume she's fearful, maybe just *trying* to be cautious.

why is it a major red flag? the fact that she's not so smart?
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #10  January 4,2010, 3:53pm
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D_Lion wrote :
That's what I thought.

It's a major red flag, as is the viewpoint to be fearful in the first place.
Hmmm, I don't consider it a red flag being asked for this information, regardless of whether we have exchanged cell phone numbers. Also, no men have seemed put-off when I've explained why I would rather discuss it (name, etc.) in person. I've always gone on to meet them after it has come up -- in other words, I've still ended up meeting them, even after I hesitated giving out my name or type of work...

I try not to be too judgmental until I've met them.
 
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