Do you give your name, or ask their name, before a date?


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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #21  January 4,2010, 4:43pm

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RoxyRedhead wrote :
Dee-I think dooming this as a red flag is premature.

The woman doesn't know you and she's trying to be safety minded, a wise thing these days. It's the smart thing to do.

Hopefully you've exchanged a few emails and phone calls and have some sense of the kind of person she is prior to asking her out.

It just makes sense for women to progress with caution-not every man is as charming as you are...lost of wackos post fantastic profiles and the person who shows up is a shock!

I like to know who I'm going to be meeting, too. Asking in a guy in a coffee shop if they are Mr.qwerty-stud123 from Craigs List Personals is embarrassing!
Do you want me to remind you my name again? (PM of course)
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #22  January 4,2010, 4:43pm
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I don't think it's good to assume we know the motivations of others. Yes, she might be asking as a (pointless) security measure. She might also just feel more comfortable meeting someone who's first and last name she knows. We were not always a first name and texting world. Perhaps when her mom or her sister asks...who's this man you're meeting again? She feels more comfortable saying "Mr. Dandy Lion" rather than "some guy named D."

And while I can understand the hesitation to give out a last name to a stranger, I am always able to squelch my fears of the nameless, faceless, dating menace by remembering the simple fact that the 17 year old high school drop out at the local pizza joint knows not only my last name, but my address, phone number, and credit card information as well.

I'm just sayin.' If someone means you harm, they are going to find a way to do it. Most people don't and even the ones who might be slightly crazy, misguided, pains in the arse can't be much more than a nuisance as long as you are firm in your dealings with them and meticulous in your own security habits.

So yes, I give out my full name after I've talked with someone a time or two and I expect them to offer theirs. So far, that has been the case. I can't recall anyone ever asking me directly, but I'm sure someone has at some point because my first name is unusual enough that I generally only offer it. It takes most folks a while to get that one down before I offer another.

Good luck, D.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; January 4,2010 at 4:46pm. Reason: Moving stuff around...
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #23  January 4,2010, 4:52pm
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
Dee-I think dooming this as a red flag is premature.

The woman doesn't know you and she's trying to be safety minded, a wise thing these days. It's the smart thing to do.

Hopefully you've exchanged a few emails and phone calls and have some sense of the kind of person she is prior to asking her out.

I have yet to receive an e-mail. I offered my e-mail, and her reply was to ask for my last name.

Safety is not relevant, since she can choose to create an annoymous e-mail, if she does not have one already. Out-of-proportion fear has always been a concern of mine.

The only rational idea I can come up with is that she does not wish to waste any resources. A fair concern; I have it too.
Last edited by D_Lion; January 4,2010 at 4:54pm.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #24  January 4,2010, 4:55pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Safety is not relevant, since she can choose to create an annoymous e-mail, if she does not have one already. Out-of-proportion fear has always been a concern of mine.
How does out-of-proportion fear of out-of-proportion fear rank on your list?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #25  January 4,2010, 5:02pm
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"I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht."

No last name, no phone number, no address. I've never been asked for any of these before a first meeting. Not sure how I'd react.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #26  January 4,2010, 5:09pm
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
Dandy Lion

Watchit, you ...
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #27  January 4,2010, 5:09pm

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I would think it strange if someone either didn't want to talk on the phone or refused to give me their phone number before a first meeting.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #28  January 4,2010, 5:14pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
I would think it strange if someone either didn't want to talk on the phone or refused to give me their phone number before a first meeting.

I much prefer to meet without a phone call, but even that stage is not yet here. I would have given the number more readily than my name - I don't think a phone number has any information in it?
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #29  January 4,2010, 5:16pm

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D_Lion wrote :
I much prefer to meet without a phone call, but even that stage is not yet here.
why? I'm just curious.
 
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sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #30  January 4,2010, 5:31pm
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Then again, maybe she just wants to see how your last name sounds with her first name
 
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