Do you give your name, or ask their name, before a date?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #131  January 7,2010, 8:37am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

London

Posts: 4,703

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Statistically, in the US, this risk is about twice the risk of a fatal automobile crash.

How afraid are you of dying in a car wreck driving to your date?

Most people will live out their lives and get old and never experience these risks. What are you willing to miss out on to mitigate an infintesimal risk?
This! coming from the most risk averse person I have ever encountered in dating terms!!! Shocking hypocrisy.

(You have no idea how much I resent you for making me use more than one exclamation mark, which I seriously disapprove of).

I do not live my life assuming or fearing attack. I am the kind of person that will happily get myself 'home' alone at night across an unknown foreign city. I live in Hackney (which won't mean anything to anyone who isn't English but the English here will know that it means I am not a scaredy cat). In fact anyone who puts themselves on a website to meet strangers for the possibility of a budding romance can not, by definition, be considered to be someone who is not "willing to miss out to mitigate an infintesimal risk"

You have to acknowledge that violent sexual attack is, generally speaking, not something that men are subjected to. Maybe if it were a bigger threat you'd understand personal safety more.

A woman who refuses to factor in her own personal safety in dating situations is a damned fool in my opinion.

I'm not advocating identity checks and advanced screening but meeting in public places, a friend aware of your whereabouts, text contact with that friend at the very least to say you got home ok, keeping your home address hidden, not drinking or leaving your drink unattended are plain common sense with someone you don't know.

I have no doubt that the majority of men on dating sites are decent men. However, you must acknowledge that the concentrated availability of women willing to meet in the flesh must make dating websites interesting playgrounds for men who have more sinister plans in mind. If women don't acknowledg this it isn't because they have a healthy attitude to risk ~ it's because they're desperate or dumb or both.

You won't take a gamble on a woman who might stump you for the cost of a bottle of wine and you think I'm a 'wuss' for taking sensible precautions to avoid being viciously raped?

tut tut.
Last edited by trixie1868; January 7,2010 at 9:32am.
 
  Reply With Quote
trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #132  January 7,2010, 8:53am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

London

Posts: 4,703

See profile

And for what it's worth, I'm lucky enough to never have been involved in either but if I had to choose, I'd be involved in a car accident any day over being raped. Can't imagine there's a woman on here who'd say different.

Sexual assault for me, would have far more damaging psychological impact on the rest of my life. I know this because a very close friend of mine was violently raped on a date 20 years ago and is still dealing with it, despite being happily married.

Do you actually even know any women?
 
  Reply With Quote
neardc is offline neardc Post #133  January 7,2010, 9:28am
neardc's Avatar

Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,050

See profile

nightling wrote :
It's a state representative, neardc, not a US representative. And I know the area pretty well. So when I say he wouldn't have been arrested without good evidence, I'm not just whistling dixie.
Thanks for the update. When you indicated it was a Congressman I was wondering how it had escaped the national news. A State Rep. makes a lot more sense (although it's no less heinous an incident!).
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #134  January 7,2010, 9:33am

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

I would be willing to bet that every woman here has had some type of sexually abusive encounter in their lifetime- had a "funny uncle" , or been asked for directions by a man performing self love, or been flashed, pinched, groped, catcalled, maybe had a landlord that you'd swear had been rifling through your panty drawer, have had highly aggressive men really really insist on taking you home, so much so that you'll say anything to get out of the situation. or had sex when they didn't want to because constant unrelenting pressure from a boy, or men who they thought loved them got too excited by their resistance, or whatever.

I understand the why some women are irrationally fearful. but the fear comes from a very rational real place, and that at least should be respected if not completely understood by the good men out there.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #135  January 7,2010, 9:38am

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

That being said, I maintain that it's much more effective for a woman to know how to disable an attacker than know his last name.

personally, I'd rather have the incident not happen than have a name to report to the police after the fact.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #136  January 7,2010, 2:59pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,673

See profile

lacedwithhope wrote :
Perhaps someone should start a thread on the limitations of using business principles to guide your personal life...

Might be an interesting topic, no? Or not.

It's one of the things I know a lot about, which also involves dealing with people.

I have research and I have experience, as really the only information available.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Such strong feelings? | Dating | Fear of rejection »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Second date, No Kiss: is this guy even interested in me? bronte71 Dating 70 January 27,2011 5:27pm
Brilliant first date, then nothing? s77 Dating 25 August 26,2010 7:15pm
I cannot believe that I slept with him on the second date. Advice needed. newdater123 Dating 262 January 28,2010 6:06am
2nd Date Jitters Timmer2 Dating 13 December 19,2009 1:45pm
1ST DATE A CHARM..SECOND WAY TOO INTENSE! rRACINGRANDY Dating 10 September 29,2009 9:36pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Come on, just because the guy is old and hasn't dated doesn't make him a toad. Lots of people have divorced and not dated in years due to job, kids, or whatever. You said he seemed nice. Maybe he is ... ” –  Altair

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“No, you have missed the point entirely. (Which is again evidence that raising children is far easier than most things.) Only a tiny fraction of motivated, able people succeed in reaching space. ... ” –  scubaroo

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“You need to try harder ... cus harder is always mo bettah!” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“I went hunting the other day and I bagged a deer.” –  myusernamehere

Join the “Good News” discussion

“Well, I'd start by trying to learn the reason. If he doesn't like "desk jobs," or respect corporations for perceived ethics, then maybe an entreprenurial venture is more his style? If he simply ... ” –  D_Lion

Join the “How to motivate a person?” discussion

“How to be happy with him? Chicks dig firefighters ...” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Ways to motivate him?” discussion

“Hi Suzanne, please see comments below in red. Overall, you seem to be a deep, sensitive and spiritual person. You have interesting hobbies and occupations. Remember there are hundreds and thousands ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “Seeking review of my profile: 52 yr old woman, Pittsburgh area” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:13pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0