interested in me but wont really talk to me. what to do?


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hairstylist86 is offline hairstylist86 Post #1  January 4,2010, 11:39am
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My friend took me over her boyfriends house and he has a brother that has told my friend that he's interested in me. There's a problem that I have everytime I go over there to hangout with them he really doesnt say anything to me. It's like he's really nervous to talk to me but I dont know why. O but get this he will talk to me on myspace whats up with that. Then I hear things from my friend that he tells his brother about me. For instance he will say "that I wont talk to him" or "Shes not interested in me". Well I am interested but if he does talk to me its "hi" or "how was your day" just like 1 word answer questions. So im really not sure what I should do. Im just tempted to just tell him i got a boyfriend so then he wont be interested. What do you think?
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #2  January 4,2010, 12:45pm
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Are you interested in his brother? Perhaps he is just a shy guy and if you are interested you can help bring him out of his shell. If you aren't interested tell him. Don't lie to him and it sounds to me like if he will talk to you on myspace just not in person it is just him being shy. It is up to you on where to take this, I suggest going straight to the source and finding out from this guy what he really thinks.
Last edited by stevex; January 4,2010 at 12:48pm.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  January 4,2010, 12:53pm
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Are you interested in him? if so, ask him out. If he accepts, terrific...
if he doesn't, forget about him.
problem solved....no more wondering what he thinks.

We ain't making rockets, here.
 
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rbk is offline rbk Post #4  January 4,2010, 1:06pm
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I agree that he sounds shy. It's a lot easier to talk to someone online than it is in person, especially if it's someone you like. If you're interested in him, perhaps you could try taking more of a lead in conversing with him.

Also, questions like "How was your day?" don't have to be just one word answers. I mean, which answer would you rather get: "It was good." or "It was good. I went to Borders earlier to buy a couple of books that I've been wanting to read. Then I stopped by the cafe there and picked up a double mocha cappuccino triple latte extreme (or whatever they serve at those places ). I love those!" Not only do you seem more interested in the conversation with the second response, but you also give him information that he can use for follow up questions.

He says that you don't seem interested or that you don't talk to him. Perhaps if you were a little be more assertive and engaging then he might become more comfortable and open up more.
 
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richey is online now richey Post #5  January 4,2010, 8:19pm
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Well... what do you say to him? remember it's TEAM WORK. If you're interestd in him then show him in some way you are interested. Talking to him instead of constantly waiting for him to talk to you sounds like a good start!

Richey
 
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gr8guy is offline gr8guy Post #6  January 5,2010, 1:20am
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hairstylist86 wrote :
My friend took me over her boyfriends house and he has a brother that has told my friend that he's interested in me. There's a problem that I have everytime I go over there to hangout with them he really doesnt say anything to me. It's like he's really nervous to talk to me but I dont know why. O but get this he will talk to me on myspace whats up with that. Then I hear things from my friend that he tells his brother about me. For instance he will say "that I wont talk to him" or "Shes not interested in me". Well I am interested but if he does talk to me its "hi" or "how was your day" just like 1 word answer questions. So im really not sure what I should do. Im just tempted to just tell him i got a boyfriend so then he wont be interested. What do you think?
How old is he? 12?

He sounds either shy, immature, or both.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  January 5,2010, 3:21am
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Here is what bugs me about this.... He does not have the courage or the simple social grace to speak to you in person, BUT he complains that you are not chasing after him to others and is putting the blame and burden on you for his wishes not working out. I would stay far away from a guy like that.
 
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Immerito is offline Immerito Post #8  February 1,2010, 9:23am
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hairstylist86 wrote :
My friend took me over her boyfriends house and he has a brother that has told my friend that he's interested in me. There's a problem that I have everytime I go over there to hangout with them he really doesnt say anything to me. It's like he's really nervous to talk to me but I dont know why. O but get this he will talk to me on myspace whats up with that. Then I hear things from my friend that he tells his brother about me. For instance he will say "that I wont talk to him" or "Shes not interested in me". Well I am interested but if he does talk to me its "hi" or "how was your day" just like 1 word answer questions. So im really not sure what I should do. Im just tempted to just tell him i got a boyfriend so then he wont be interested. What do you think?
I think he's a game player.

1) He wants to communicate alleged interest through third parties. (Sorry, I didn't even play that game in junior high. I didn't go for game players even back then.)

2) He's making excuses for not communicating with you in person.

3) He contacts you online as a way to protect himself from taking the risk of actual, in person communication.

Why would you be interested in someone like that? Mature adults communicate interest in each other openly. Immature kids play games.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  February 1,2010, 9:54am
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Immerito wrote :
I think he's a game player.

1) He wants to communicate alleged interest through third parties. (Sorry, I didn't even play that game in junior high. I didn't go for game players even back then.)

2) He's making excuses for not communicating with you in person.

3) He contacts you online as a way to protect himself from taking the risk of actual, in person communication.

Why would you be interested in someone like that? Mature adults communicate interest in each other openly. Immature kids play games.
Unfortunately some people NEVER will communicate openly.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  February 1,2010, 9:55am
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DancingFool wrote :
Here is what bugs me about this.... He does not have the courage or the simple social grace to speak to you in person, BUT he complains that you are not chasing after him to others and is putting the blame and burden on you for his wishes not working out. I would stay far away from a guy like that.
Yes to this.
 
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