Getting to date #2: how it's supposed to work


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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #31  January 13,2010, 11:39pm

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gcoleman99 wrote :
LTAS? Translation for the acronym-challenged?
Let's Talk About Sex, one of the many awesome eharmony groups. also awesome are Toast and Guide to Style.
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #32  January 13,2010, 11:59pm
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is conflicted and stuff

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scarlet13 wrote :
Let's Talk About Sex, one of the many awesome eharmony groups. also awesome are Toast and Guide to Style.
Ah... Gracias.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #33  January 14,2010, 5:03am
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Well let's look at dating reality for a moment.

At the end of a lot of first dates, both people may not really be ready to be upfront about how they feel about the other person.
1. Uncertainty: Maybe they don't even know how they feel yet.

2. Not attracted. Don't want to hurt the other person. Want to avoid confrontation.

3. Attracted. Too shy. Afraid of looking needy or desperate or not a challenge.

4. Playing games. Dates mostly for fun, not really in search of someone special.

5. Just into sex. Similar to 4, but has an agenda to use others.

So being upfront and honest may sound good in theory, but if the other isn't, it might not work so well.

My suggestion is throw all rules out the window and just trust your gut, or for women your instincts. Don't overthink it, and don't have high expectations.

For example, you think you had a good time. In your gut, did it seem the other person had a good time based on his or her actions, body language, and eye contact with you? Don't base this on what they said, but on how they acted during the date. It's amazing how people give themselves away so clearly with body language and their eyes, if only you pay attention.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #34  January 14,2010, 5:57am

blames self-help books

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scarlet13 wrote :
Let's Talk About Sex, one of the many awesome eharmony groups. also awesome are Toast and Guide to Style.
I didn't know about Guide to Style. I think Love in the Fast Lane is cool as well.
 
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kleigh is offline kleigh Post #35  January 14,2010, 9:26am
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I have to be honest that if a guy asks me out at the end of a first date, and I'm not that interested, I might sort of nod and say yeah. I think it's that idea of not being rude to his face that's ingrained into me. And I might engage in bad behavior and not call him back at all if I'm not interested. I'm seeing from reading these posts that guys get as anxious as women if they were into someone, so I guess I should change my tactics a little bit and just be honest in the moment.
 
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