Is it the right time? Any help appreciated.


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paradox007 is offline paradox007 Post #1  January 2,2010, 9:42pm
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I have been talking to this girl for almost 6 months since July. We have spoken on the phone 2-3 times and the last one was in October. Now we communicate mostly through facebook emails and a few text messages. I live about 5 hours (drive) away and little less than 2 months ago I drove all the way to meet her for dinner and some drinks. We had dinner in a nice moderately priced restaurant and 2 of her friends later joined us in the bar for drinks. We have exchanged emails and text messages after that 2-3 times a week. But in the last 3 weeks, I am getting mixed signals from her. 3 and half weeks ago, I texted and asked if she wanted to talk on the phone and she said she was really busy that week and she was going on a vacation the next week. So I replied...ok. we can talk after you are back. There was no reply for that. I knew she was back from her vacation and 3 days later on the 25th I sent her a text just wishing her merry christmas and nothing else. No reply for that either. She has been constantly posting things (2-3 times a day) on facebook during this time. I dont know what to think about this and confused. Why this sudden change. Or am I just being impatient. She seems to be a good person and I like her and would definitely like to pursue further. I am also up for the drive to see her again.

Is it the right time to ask her what she thinks about the situation. I am planning to send her an email and ask her if she wants to pursue further. I wanted to see what you people think about this. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  January 2,2010, 10:11pm

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paradox007 wrote :
I have been talking to this girl for almost 6 months since July. We have spoken on the phone 2-3 times and the last one was in October. Now we communicate mostly through facebook emails and a few text messages. I live about 5 hours (drive) away and little less than 2 months ago I drove all the way to meet her for dinner and some drinks. We had dinner in a nice moderately priced restaurant and 2 of her friends later joined us in the bar for drinks. We have exchanged emails and text messages after that 2-3 times a week. But in the last 3 weeks, I am getting mixed signals from her. 3 and half weeks ago, I texted and asked if she wanted to talk on the phone and she said she was really busy that week and she was going on a vacation the next week. So I replied...ok. we can talk after you are back. There was no reply for that. I knew she was back from her vacation and 3 days later on the 25th I sent her a text just wishing her merry christmas and nothing else. No reply for that either. She has been constantly posting things (2-3 times a day) on facebook during this time. I dont know what to think about this and confused. Why this sudden change. Or am I just being impatient. She seems to be a good person and I like her and would definitely like to pursue further. I am also up for the drive to see her again.

Is it the right time to ask her what she thinks about the situation. I am planning to send her an email and ask her if she wants to pursue further. I wanted to see what you people think about this. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Me thinks the ship has sailed Mr. Sailor...

You're five hours away, she might have found somebody closer.
 
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CAnative is offline CAnative Post #3  January 2,2010, 10:50pm
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I am sorry paradox007 but I have to agree with py_2. She has moved on. Long distance relationships are not easy for some people.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #4  January 3,2010, 3:34am
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I wouldn't send her that email... she has already not responded twice to you. I would spend that energy in another direction, pehaps looking for someone else. Look for someone who lives closer to you.
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #5  January 3,2010, 6:16am
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This is one of those times where the distance is the factor in the non-relationship that you have.

Sorry, it sounds like she's found someone else who is closer.

Texts and emails do not a relationship make. You have to meet them in person, constantly, for chemistry to develop. It's called dating.
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #6  January 3,2010, 10:16am
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Sorry, paradox. I have to agree with the others. You already have your answer from her. For whatever reason (and I would lean toward distance), she's not interested. If she were, she would be responding.
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #7  January 3,2010, 1:15pm
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I'd also tend to agree with the above. However, it couldn't hurt to send one final e-mail stating that, since you believe her non-contact with you means she's moving on, you're going to as well. Then wish her luck. In a way, it's a polite ultimatum. In any event, the ball's squarely in her court on replying. Good luck, though.
 
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smileatjen is offline smileatjen Post #8  January 3,2010, 3:06pm
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I agree. Move on and if she contacts you then respond. Distance is really hard I must admit.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #9  January 4,2010, 10:37am
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Generally I am the optimistic one, but I will have to agree with the others. I used to think 5 hours was manageable, but seeing someone two hours away is hard enough. I have been lucky to have gone out with her 4 times in the past two months but I think if I hadn't than she very well could have moved on.

I think you have done everything you can but at this point I would start searching for someone else. My advice, try your hardest to meet someone close, though I know that isn't always easy.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #10  January 4,2010, 1:19pm
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Go to a different part of the wetlands, and cast your net there, as there are plenty of barracudas swimming there too.
 
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