dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #1  January 1,2010, 10:00pm
dietpepsi's Avatar

is happy.

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 295

See profile

Why would a guy hide his online dating (non-eH) profile, every several days? Show, hide, show, hide. What is the motivation behind that?

I am scratching my head.
 
  Reply With Quote
robv_la is offline robv_la Post #2  January 1,2010, 10:14pm
robv_la's Avatar

Looking forward to another snow season

Veteran

Joined: Aug 2008

Long Beach, CA

Posts: 1,333

See profile

Could be a variety of reasons:
Maybe he's testing it on his account.
Maybe he's not sure of his single status because someone he's seeing keeps going hot and then cold.

I'm guessing you checking his online profile regularly because you are communicating and his profile keeps vanishing and reappearing?
 
  Reply With Quote
dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #3  January 2,2010, 7:48am
dietpepsi's Avatar

is happy.

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 295

See profile

IMHO you either have your profile UP or DOWN. It's too much "effort" to change it every other day. Switching back and forth suggests (a) you've been seeing someone for at least a couple of months and things are getting weird or (b) you're actively hiding your profile so that your significant other won't find out.

Agree? Vote.

I stopped seeing this person after I noticed this pattern.
 
  Reply With Quote
CJF is offline CJF Post #4  January 2,2010, 8:36am
CJF's Avatar

is pondering life

Quick Study

Joined: May 2009

NE Georgia

Posts: 143

See profile

Maybe he is bi-polar.

Split personalities?

Ok, the real reason is he could be a player. Or maybe his wife/girlfriend has access to a computer on certain days of the week.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  January 2,2010, 9:17am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

dietpepsi wrote :
Why would a guy hide his online dating (non-eH) profile, every several days? Show, hide, show, hide. What is the motivation behind that?

I am scratching my head.
dietpepsi wrote :
IMHO you either have your profile UP or DOWN. It's too much "effort" to change it every other day. Switching back and forth suggests (a) you've been seeing someone for at least a couple of months and things are getting weird or (b) you're actively hiding your profile so that your significant other won't find out.

Agree? Vote.

I stopped seeing this person after I noticed this pattern.
You don't say what site but it is not very difficult to hide and display your profile on all the sites that I am familiar with.

There are a lot of people that think that if you begin communicating with a match that you should not communicate with any other matches until you have determined that that match is not going to work out and you close them.

It could also be that he turns on his profile gets a lot of matches then turns it off so that he can sort through all the matches.

I suspect that this particular guy may be doing something like these, as weird as it seems to you. Rather than some kind of underhanded, shady tricks. But of course the only one who really knows is him so I am only guessing.
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #6  January 2,2010, 9:29am
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

Are you communicating with the guy? Ask him.
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  January 2,2010, 10:22am
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,638

See profile

Its possible something really stupid.........he may not really know he is doing this. When he signs in to view it it becomes active...when he signs out it becomes hidden. m Could be some box check marked that does this atomatically.
 
  Reply With Quote
dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #8  January 2,2010, 11:01am
dietpepsi's Avatar

is happy.

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 295

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
You don't say what site but it is not very difficult to hide and display your profile on all the sites that I am familiar with.
I'm just guessing too. Yes hiding your profile is only a click but consider (a) that most men don't even bother updating their profile from last summer or wash their hands after they go to the toilet and (b) the thought behind the action implies more.

If I want a break from dating or I'm going on vacation, then I hide my profile for a couple of weeks. But otherwise as long as I am not still looking and in a committed relationship and want to be found, I would typically keep my profile up continuously for weeks/months.

Now this guy's been using the same profile for some time, no updates whatsoever, but keeps hiding and showing, hiding and showing.

Who would even think of switching his status every several days?! It's just weird.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayhawkgirl is offline jayhawkgirl Post #9  January 2,2010, 11:28am
jayhawkgirl's Avatar

is back to square one

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 405

See profile

On one site, if your profile is visible when you view someone else's profile, it will show up in their "who's viewed me" list. If your profile is hidden, though, it won't.

A co-worker told me he will hide his profile while searching/viewing other profiles so that he won't show up in their "who's viewed me" lists. He refers to this as "lurking." He said he often gets contacted by women whose profile he's viewed, even if it's not interested, because they think he's interested (because he viewed their profiles).

When he's finished lurking, he makes his profile visible again so that the women he decides to contact can see it.
 
  Reply With Quote
dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #10  January 2,2010, 8:02pm
dietpepsi's Avatar

is happy.

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 295

See profile

jayhawkgirl -- you hit it on the nail. I also think there's more to the story as well, but oh the cosmo is so big and mysterious, and I ain't gonna even bother trying to figure it all out.

blah.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Psychology of relationships | Dating | Too amazing? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
we both still feel kind of weird that we met on eH Andrea8823 Dating 38 June 24,2010 9:53am
We both said "I love you", then things got weird! How to keep this train on the tracks? p56360 Ask a Dating Expert 17 September 17,2009 3:34pm
Weird Dream islandrain80 About You 10 July 6,2009 8:25am
Help with profile! I think I might be too weird for eHarmony (in the nicest possible way). bronte71 Using eHarmony 12 July 5,2009 6:08pm
weird question cbhatt Using eHarmony 8 June 15,2009 11:40pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:51pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0