Being shallow vs. desiring physical attraction

There is a thread posing the question that if a woman isn't pretty can she find love or not. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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Do you think that there is a difference in between shallow and simply desiring physical attractiveness?
Yes. Shallow is being focused only on the physical. However physically attractive without depth of character is not going very far. On the other hand all the character in the world is not going to make it if you are repulsed by the physical.
Have you turned down dates because you were not physically attracted to someone before you got to know them?
No. I will go out with almost anyone at least once.
Have you turned people down after you knew them and thought they were great but they didn't tickle your fancy on a physical level?
No.

Discuss.

Something I haven't seen mentioned on this site previously....is that how a woman looks actually affects my emotions. Her looks affect how I feel about her. I've heard guys say a man shouldn't mention such things to a woman....because to women this doesn't make sense and isn't justifiable. However, while personality certainly affects the feelings I have for a woman...I can't deny that her looks do as well.

Something I haven't seen mentioned on this site previously....is that how a woman looks actually affects my emotions. Her looks affect how I feel about her. I've heard guys say a man shouldn't mention such things to a woman....because to women this doesn't make sense and isn't justifiable. However, while personality certainly affects the feelings I have for a woman...I can't deny that her looks do as well.

Lets look at it from a different angle here. Attraction as we all know, is something we can't quite define, but know it when we see it. Physical attraction, is just one aspect of the entire attractiveness spectrum, in my opinion.

I think you are being shallow if you are attracted to someone in every other way, but you find yourself not wanting to be with someone, because you think you'll look bad for being with this person. That is shallow.

But, if someone really doesn't do it for you, then no, its not shallow. However, i think it takes more than just a quick look to decide.

I also think that physical attractiveness, is solely up to you and what you think is attractive. What is hard, is keeping an open mind about what YOU find attractive, as oppose to what society finds attractive. It can be confusing.

I've said many times, that if i had gone with my gut reaction, I would not be engaged. My fiancee when i first met her, was not my ideal person. Physically, she was heavier than anyone i've ever dated before. In my head, i wanted to just finish the date, and be done with it. This was before we sat down and talked face to face. This is in the first moment that i laid eyes on her. Conversationally, we were compatible, and we had talked for several hours before meeting for the first time, but she did not have a picture posted.

Afterward, i went home. I really thought about my reaction. Then, I thought about the time I spent with her. My main thought here was "Am I telling myself not to be attracted to her, because she's not what is conventionally attractive?" This really irked me, because I really was torn. So i decided, if she would want to meet up again, I would give her a true shot. I focused more on her and me, instead of what I imagined, I should be attracted to. It turns out that once i overcame some stereotypes in my head, I realized that I DID find her attractive. From there, it just snowballed into a relationship. Not what I would call a whirlwind intense relationship. It was more of a slow boil.

Personally, I like to think of it this way. Give both, you and the other person a chance. If you label someone in your head "attractive" or "not attractive", then you will not change easily. Therefore, I will usually give myself a chance to feel things out mentally and physically before making the decision that someone is or isn't attractive to me.

Sometimes, the hot one, turns out to be the unattractive one, and the homey looking one, becomes the raging inferno. I had that happen to me too.

does pickiness really make you shallow?
I won't date a guy who's 5' 2"... I don't care how great of a personality he is... I would not be attracted to him. I just wouldn't. I'm 5' 10" (with my gorgeous heels on!!), and it would not be attractive to me to look down at the top of his head all the time. yes, that is one dimension of my pickiness... but, that makes me shallow? really?