How often is enough....


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
atrueromantic is offline atrueromantic Post #1  December 31,2009, 8:01am
atrueromantic's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 41

See profile

to let a woman know you are interested? I just started dating someone and am interested in seeing her often, but do not want to scare her off. She definitely likes her space and seems independent. So, how should I proceed so as to send the message that I am interested? How often should I contact her? Currently, I contact her once every few days and let her respond before I reach out again. Thoughts?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  December 31,2009, 8:15am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,660

See profile

Your approach seems reasonable.

Personally, I do not make communication unless it is to exchange facts, such as arranging the next meeting, though I would answer most communication I get from a women (with some exceptions.)

If she seems to be ignoring some of your messages, it's a sign either she doesn't care much for you, is too busy fielding other offers to find someone better, or simply is disinterested in idle chit-chat.

Since you can't do anything about the first two possibilities, and the latter is an encouraging sign (to me), I would back down your commication somewhat to better match her style.
Last edited by D_Lion; December 31,2009 at 8:17am.
 
  Reply With Quote
jussmile is offline jussmile Post #3  December 31,2009, 8:23am
jussmile's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

Seattle

Posts: 3,837

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Since you can't do anything about the first two possibilities, and the latter is an encouraging sign (to me), I would back down your commication somewhat to better match her style.
I completely disagree... there are lots of women out there who appreciate a man who has great communications skills and want to stay in touch frequently. You just need to make sure that the values between you and this person are aligned. Based on your response on the "Economics" thread, it appears that your values may not be aligned. If being a gentleman, paying for dates, opening doors, etc. is important to you, there are actually many women out there who do not believe this is necessary and believe you are not treating them as "equals" when you do this.

I have found that the values in the relationship need to be aligned, otherwise, you will find too many areas of mis-communication/mis-interpretation, etc. There are enough women out there who will appreciate the qualities that you bring to the table that you do not have to "change" anything about yourself. I say, NEVER enter into a relationship where you have to change who you are or what makes you happy.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  December 31,2009, 8:33am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,660

See profile

jussmile wrote :
I completely disagree... there are lots of women out there who appreciate a man who has great communications skills and want to stay in touch frequently. You just need to make sure that the values between you and this person are aligned.

That's what I said.

The OP indicated having to follow up to unanswered communication, and to being concerned about coming on too strong.
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #5  December 31,2009, 8:36am
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

It all depends on the circumstances. Some women leave it up the guys to initiate all the communications. Does she seem interested when you contact her? As far as how often you should see her, that all depends on your schedules but I would say no more than once or twice a week in the beginning.
 
  Reply With Quote
atrueromantic is offline atrueromantic Post #6  December 31,2009, 8:36am
atrueromantic's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 41

See profile

thank you for your valued advice. I agree 1000% that one should always be his or herself. A true key to happiness.
 
  Reply With Quote
atrueromantic is offline atrueromantic Post #7  December 31,2009, 8:39am
atrueromantic's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 41

See profile

stevex wrote :
It all depends on the circumstances. Some women leave it up the guys to initiate all the communications. Does she seem interested when you contact her? As far as how often you should see her, that all depends on your schedules but I would say no more than once or twice a week in the beginning.
She is interested when I contact her. Not the issue. The issue is not wanting to come on too strong. I also agree that seeing her more than once or twice a week would not necessarily be the right thing to do.
 
  Reply With Quote
SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #8  December 31,2009, 8:44am
SierraMountai…'s Avatar

The Doctor just called. Your test results are in.

Power Poster

Joined: Apr 2008

California, but NORTHERN California

Posts: 6,025

See profile

atrueromantic wrote :
seeing her more than once or twice a week would not necessarily be the right thing to do.

True, especially in the early, non exclusive stages. People like us don't like to feel suffocated.
 
  Reply With Quote
jussmile is offline jussmile Post #9  December 31,2009, 8:52am
jussmile's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

Seattle

Posts: 3,837

See profile

6dle899 wrote :
True, especially in the early, non exclusive stages. People like us don't like to feel suffocated.
People like "ME" don't feel it is being suffocating... IMO, you set precedence up front in terms of what you expect in a relationship. now, do you really need to physically see her more than twic a week? only if you want to... if she doesn't want to see you as much as you want to see her, and she is the "independent" type, then make sure that this is okay for you to carryover into a ltr as well. otherwise, you could be setting yourself up to get hurt.

I have been in the dating stage where I've seen guys interested in me up to three times per week. guys, that I was only slightly interested in, or didn't know whether I could see myself with... I wouldn't see that often.
 
  Reply With Quote
Diann1950 is online now Diann1950 Post #10  December 31,2009, 9:19am
Diann1950's Avatar

Kid and dog sitting, have grand kids and dogs for the week.

Enthusiast

Joined: May 2009

Wichita Ks

Posts: 888

See profile

You might try a little more frequently and see if she maintains the time interval or answers more quickly. Or you could suggest something on the spur of the moment. Now that should be a real thing, not something you create. Like a beautiful afternoon for a walk in the park or such.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Men: reactions to women asking you out? | Dating | The worst compliment you've gotten... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:44pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0