AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  December 30,2009, 9:59am
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My friends and I talk about the silliest things. This time the topic of getting a "do over" for a first date.

You really like the person but you know you screwed up somehow. Not horribly, like the MENSA guy who ate my sundae, but you did "something" to turn them off and want another chance. Maybe you said something you should have, was caught picking your nose, let yourself fall asleep when they were talking, talked too much, talked too little (didn't answer questions), called them by the wrong name, was late by an hour.

I'm curious if anyone here has done something, realized it later, then wanted to ask for a "do over" for the first date. How was the request received? Did it work out? Should we even ask for a second date if we did some faux pas?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  December 30,2009, 10:30am
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Nope, would not even consider it. If a person cannot tolerate a minor faux pas then that in and of itself is a major point of incompatibility. The truth is that during the course of a relationship you'll both commit a whole lot of those and get on each other's nerves and push red buttons - what it all boils down to is that they like you enough and are tolerant enough to put up with your lesser sides. If what is a minor faux pas to you is a major deal breaker to them....you are sooo not compatible.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #3  December 30,2009, 10:40am
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I gave a guy a do-over once... he spent about 1/3 the date talking about his ex and how horrible she was and his break-up was. Other than that (major) issue, he was a good guy and I enjoyed his company. I told him that I would go out with him again if the subject of his ex was left off of our conversation agenda. That if he brings her up again, that's The End... We went out two more times.
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #4  December 30,2009, 11:44am
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Had someone commit a couple faux pas on a date. There were a few smaller one's and she didn't really get the one I was most unimpressed by so when she essentially asked for a do over .... I didn't grant it.

Fourth date with this woman. A number of minor issues with her, but she seemed like a nice person so I agreed to meet a fourth time. I'd paid for dinner the two previous times we went out for dinner and she offered to take me out to dinner at a nice steak restaurant in town - b/c she had gift certificates. Great restaurant just a little out in the boon docks.

The afternoon before we were supposed to go out my car konked out and I was forced to have it towed to a repair shop. I called her, explained the situation and asked if we could meet downtown - i.e. not a $50+ cab ride one way. She graciously offered to pick me up. She showed up 45 minutes late.

As I got in the car, after a brief apology for being so late, she told me that she'd forgotten the gift certificates and asked "what's your budget?" That one set me off. I'll take you out .. what's your budget? Really?

I remained pleasant throughout the night, paid for dinner and turned down her half-arse offer to "kick in" on the bill. We went and saw a cartoon she wanted to see, then feigned tiredness when she wanted to go for a drink on the way home.

She emailed the day after our date thanking me for dinner (nice) and telling me I have nice eyes (a little creepy in the circumstance). The following day she emailed again apologizing for being late and then telling me when she was available. I wasn't upset about the lateness, she was helping me out by picking me up...

Creepy weird behaviour with a number of emails from her. Again, apologizing for the lateness. Had she gotten what I was upset about, maybe a second chance. Then again if she'd 'gotten it' she probably would have insisted on paying for dinner even though she forgotten her gift certificates.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  December 30,2009, 11:59am
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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We just had a do-over last night. We had sex and she wasn't satisfied the first time so we had a do-over.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #6  December 30,2009, 12:01pm
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tweet37 wrote :
We just had a do-over last night. We had sex and she wasn't satisfied the first time so we had a do-over.
I'm envious
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  December 30,2009, 12:37pm
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tweet37 wrote :
We just had a do-over last night. We had sex and she wasn't satisfied the first time so we had a do-over.
was the third time the charm.....or did you have to do it four or five or six....
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  December 30,2009, 12:38pm
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It's that Danish stinkfish we had for dinner. Really makes you...ermm...things.. stand at attention.
 
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AsianFusion is offline AsianFusion Post #9  December 30,2009, 12:54pm
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tweet37 wrote :
We just had a do-over last night. We had sex and she wasn't satisfied the first time so we had a do-over.
So you have to build your endurance up from three seconds to five seconds? I suppose you need to upgrade your tools so that you can better satisfy.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  December 30,2009, 1:09pm
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shoopthedoop wrote :
Had someone commit a couple faux pas on a date. There were a few smaller one's and she didn't really get the one I was most unimpressed by so when she essentially asked for a do over .... I didn't grant it.

Fourth date with this woman. A number of minor issues with her, but she seemed like a nice person so I agreed to meet a fourth time. I'd paid for dinner the two previous times we went out for dinner and she offered to take me out to dinner at a nice steak restaurant in town - b/c she had gift certificates. Great restaurant just a little out in the boon docks.

The afternoon before we were supposed to go out my car konked out and I was forced to have it towed to a repair shop. I called her, explained the situation and asked if we could meet downtown - i.e. not a $50+ cab ride one way. She graciously offered to pick me up. She showed up 45 minutes late.

As I got in the car, after a brief apology for being so late, she told me that she'd forgotten the gift certificates and asked "what's your budget?" That one set me off. I'll take you out .. what's your budget? Really?

I remained pleasant throughout the night, paid for dinner and turned down her half-arse offer to "kick in" on the bill. We went and saw a cartoon she wanted to see, then feigned tiredness when she wanted to go for a drink on the way home.

She emailed the day after our date thanking me for dinner (nice) and telling me I have nice eyes (a little creepy in the circumstance). The following day she emailed again apologizing for being late and then telling me when she was available. I wasn't upset about the lateness, she was helping me out by picking me up...

Creepy weird behaviour with a number of emails from her. Again, apologizing for the lateness. Had she gotten what I was upset about, maybe a second chance. Then again if she'd 'gotten it' she probably would have insisted on paying for dinner even though she forgotten her gift certificates.

Ok, so you were essentially allowing her to own up to her social blunder and may have gone out with her again if she did. I like that attitude.

I have to ask, was she in sales? I work in sales and get gift certificates for stuff sometimes (trades). I am usually cash poor as well because I put it all in my gas tank. I try not to use gc's with dates, unless I feel I can be light about it with the person or it's not something I mention. They don't have to know I used it.
 
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