Getting rid of the "creepy" online Dude!


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  December 28,2009, 7:38pm
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Ok, I went out with this guy... one date. We had exchanged a number of emails, went through the whole personality thing, and he seemed really nice. We had a lot of things in common and I liked his philosophy regarding life.

So, I agreed to meet him for coffee. We met at a public place, and had a good conversation. When we met, he talked about how he had did an online search of me, and found me interesting. He asked about my cell phone service and why I had more than one number ! I mean WTH?!! Okay, so I've done an online search of people before, just to make sure they're not some weirdos or something, but this seemed to take it to the next level. Made me really uncomfortable.

Anyway, after the date, I thanked him for the meeting and we went our separate ways... He asked me if we could meet again, and I told him I would think about it. Then, in traditional form after I've met someone I would not want to see again, I wrote him an email thanking him again for the meeting, but told him that I didn't think there was any chemistry between us. He wrote back, really gentleman like and told me I should reconsider, and that he thought I was a beautiful rose (or some such poetic statement) and that he would be the guy I needed, yadda yadda yadda.... I told him, thanks but no thanks, and he bowed out gracefully with a virtual kiss.

So, I thought it was all said and done. Now, he keeps writing, he keeps calling. How do I get rid of this guy!

This really is the kind of guy that gives online dating a bad name. He is kinda creeping me out, really.
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #2  December 28,2009, 8:08pm
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Tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't wish to have any contact with him, and that you'll consider any further attempts to contact you harrassment.
 
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amysnaps is offline amysnaps Post #3  December 28,2009, 8:14pm
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I've had this happen, you just have to be blunt. rude. or whatever it takes. you can also talk to your wireless company about blocking his number. It's time to stop being nice and draw the line.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #4  December 28,2009, 8:20pm
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amysnaps wrote :
I've had this happen, you just have to be blunt. rude. or whatever it takes. you can also talk to your wireless company about blocking his number. It's time to stop being nice and draw the line.
I agree... I told him point blank that I am not interested in seeing him and to not contact me any further. Then, I just ignored any further communications from him.

Problem is, I didn't get his number, just gave him mine because I felt so bad I had to stand him up for our first meeting... so, he has my number and every time he calls, his is PRIVATE!! another reason he just creeped me out.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #5  December 28,2009, 8:35pm

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jussmile wrote :
I agree... I told him point blank that I am not interested in seeing him and to not contact me any further. Then, I just ignored any further communications from him.

Problem is, I didn't get his number, just gave him mine because I felt so bad I had to stand him up for our first meeting... so, he has my number and every time he calls, his is PRIVATE!! another reason he just creeped me out.
Ok I will teach you....hope to get rid of this doofus.

Next time you see that 'private' number again, answer and just tell him that you didn't know it's him because it's private. Ask for his phone number...then once the dummy gives it to you, then you block him.

I hope your phone number is the only thing he knows...not address or anything like that.

Good luck!
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #6  December 28,2009, 8:38pm
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PY_2 wrote :
Ok I will teach you....hope to get rid of this doofus.

Next time you see that 'private' number again, answer and just tell him that you didn't know it's him because it's private. Ask for his phone number...then once the dummy gives it to you, then you block him.

I hope your phone number is the only thing he knows...not address or anything like that.

Good luck!
Well, the guy has done a complete online search of me!! I sure don't think he knows anything else.. think/hope! He only writes and calls about once a week but it's getting old. That's a good idea about just trying one more time to stop it in its tracks. The next time he calls or emails, I'm just going to tell him, point blank that I am not interested, and that he will need to stop harassing me !! Yeah, I'll put my mean face on and everything !!
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  December 28,2009, 8:51pm
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You can tell him to not contact you in specific ways. Say something like, You are to never contact me via e-mail, text, cell phone, land line phone... you know the drill. You make sure to tell him, If you ever do contact me, or anyone to get a message to me, I will contact the police and have a restraining order placed against you.

I've had to do this twice. Once with a freako girl and once with a stalker guy. If you are very specific and tell them you WILL contact the police, they are stuck.

I've had a stalker and this guy is slowly gravitating towards that. The whole, I am the guy you need. Or whatever he said, that is just too stalkerish.

If you get rid of him by being rude, great, but he hasn't gotten the hint yet.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #8  December 28,2009, 8:55pm
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I don't think the ignoring aspect really works. You have to be really blunt with guys,especially because there are a lot of books and advise regarding playing hard to get and the chase.

Telling him you feel that this is harassment and what he's doing is creepy and stalkerish sounds like a good idea.

PY_2 did have a good idea in regards to getting his number and blocking it too. Tell him you'll call him back and then return his call and give him your assessment.
 
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SweetKatieA is offline SweetKatieA Post #9  December 28,2009, 9:20pm
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Ohhh!! I'm so sorry! Good luck!! All of the above are great suggestions. Get your mean face on girl and stand up for yourself.
Last edited by SweetKatieA; December 28,2009 at 9:41pm. Reason: I speaka de english
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  December 28,2009, 9:25pm
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jussmile wrote :
This really is the kind of guy that gives online dating a bad name. He is kinda creeping me out, really.
It really has nothing to do with online dating- you could meet a creep like this at a bar, work, school, anywhere.

You might try telling him you're seeing someone else; not sure if that would dissuade him or not.
 
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