Compromise or settling?


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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #1  December 28,2009, 4:16pm

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On the "Have your dating preferences evolved" thread, I started to think about the differences (if any) between Compromise and Settling.

It is semantics?

Interpretation of the words based on past experience?

Is Settling just a loaded word with connotations of giving up ones desires, of having lost more than was gained?

According to Wikipedia, :"compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms"

Your ideas and opinions?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  December 28,2009, 4:20pm
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"Settling" is giving up on finding something in a partner you think you, yourself, bring to the table, to avoid being alone.

"Compromise" is adapting to an attribute different than what you envisioned, but that not not indicate a change in the "league" of you partner.
 
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Mekel is offline Mekel Post #3  December 28,2009, 4:51pm
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Settling is something you do on a personal level as an individual and prior to the established relationship. Compromise is something you do together as a couple in a cemented relationship. Settling is one sided whereas compromising is a mutual two-way deal. Just my 2 pesos.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #4  December 28,2009, 5:17pm
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To me, "settling" may or may not have a negative connotation. I may want a faithful husband, but "settle" on a faithless one.....negative. I may want that $800 dress, but I "settle" on the $80 dress.....positive.

I see "compromise", OTOH, as almost always positive. I see it as necessary, simply because we, as human beings, are allowed, at times, to be different from each other.

You get to be you. I get to be me. "Compromise" allows us to live together, and still be who we are.

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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  December 28,2009, 5:20pm
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j0hn8andy wrote :
I may want that $800 dress, but I "settle" on the $80 dress.....positive.

If 90% less dress means more skin, I agree!
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #6  December 28,2009, 5:21pm
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D_Lion wrote :
"Settling" is giving up on finding something in a partner you think you, yourself, bring to the table, to avoid being alone.

"Compromise" is adapting to an attribute different than what you envisioned, but that not not indicate a change in the "league" of you partner.
Agreed!
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #7  December 28,2009, 9:13pm
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D_Lion wrote :
If 90% less dress means more skin, I agree!
You're a funny one, all right!

j8a
 
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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #8  December 28,2009, 9:24pm
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No matter who you end up with, that person will never have everything you want. Because you will keep wanting more.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #9  December 28,2009, 11:07pm
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I think it's a difference of intent, compromise suggests you're willing to work at the relationship and don't expect everything to go your way, you're prepared to build a partnership. Settling suggests you're just making the best of a bad deal because nothing better came along.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #10  December 29,2009, 3:06am
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Compromise and settling don't appear to be factors in my search as I have no idea what I want or what I need. I know what I don't want and operate from there... probably not the best way to procede but there it is....
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