The Re-Gifting of the Dating World


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
unluckyinluv is offline unluckyinluv Post #1  December 28,2009, 2:52pm
unluckyinluv's Avatar

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

I went out for two dates with a match I met on eharmony. On Date Number 2, we went to this newly opened crepe restaurant in the neighbourhood where we both coincidently live. Things went well, and I left the date fully expecting a Date Number Three.

So, I just arrived back in town today, and lo and behold, of all things, I was craving a crepe. I walked to the neighbourhood crepe restaurant, and see HIM- my E-Potential- through the restaurant window; sitting with another girl (gorgeous girl, might I add) and flirting over crepes! He re-used our date! Only a week after! If anything, I think, it's like the re-gifting of the dating world.

I stopped in my tracks and immediately did a 180. It would have been way awkward for me to have gone in and casually ordered a crepe, right? I mean, I would have had to say "hi"; and then what? Would he have introduced me to his new date? Or worse, would he have introduced me of his other e-harmony match? I let my dignity overcome my appetite (something I don't often do), and slumped away from the restaurant and into a Starbucks for a latte instead.

I mean, what are the chances?! It was nice to have that little slap in the face this Monday morning. And re-gifting a date; tacky or acceptable?! I vote tacky.
 
  Reply With Quote
alex751 is offline alex751 Post #2  December 28,2009, 6:33pm

Unregistered

Joined: Mar 2009

Midwest

Posts: 122

See profile

unluckyinluv wrote :
I went out for two dates with a match I met on eharmony. On Date Number 2, we went to this newly opened crepe restaurant in the neighbourhood where we both coincidently live. Things went well, and I left the date fully expecting a Date Number Three.

So, I just arrived back in town today, and lo and behold, of all things, I was craving a crepe. I walked to the neighbourhood crepe restaurant, and see HIM- my E-Potential- through the restaurant window; sitting with another girl (gorgeous girl, might I add) and flirting over crepes! He re-used our date! Only a week after! If anything, I think, it's like the re-gifting of the dating world.

I stopped in my tracks and immediately did a 180. It would have been way awkward for me to have gone in and casually ordered a crepe, right? I mean, I would have had to say "hi"; and then what? Would he have introduced me to his new date? Or worse, would he have introduced me of his other e-harmony match? I let my dignity overcome my appetite (something I don't often do), and slumped away from the restaurant and into a Starbucks for a latte instead.

I mean, what are the chances?! It was nice to have that little slap in the face this Monday morning. And re-gifting a date; tacky or acceptable?! I vote tacky.
I don't see anything wrong with this gentleman did. To be honest, it's fairly challenging coming up with creative dates.

Last month, I had something similar happen to me. I was with Date #2 at a local coffee shop and in walks Date #1. I could see the look overcoming Date #1. Not pretty, but she was a sport about it.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  December 28,2009, 6:40pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,660

See profile

unluckyinluv wrote :
I just arrived back in town today, and lo and behold, of all things, I was craving a crepe. I walked to the neighbourhood crepe restaurant, and see HIM- my E-Potential- through the restaurant window; sitting with another girl (gorgeous girl, might I add) and flirting over crepes! He re-used our date! Only a week after!

So, you negotiated and shared the cost of "our date?"

I always meet at places I know and trust. I pay, I choose, I own - there is no "our."


unluckyinluv wrote :
It would have been way awkward for me to have gone in and casually ordered a crepe, right? I mean, I would have had to say "hi"; and then what?

Not if you have presence of mind!

You have every right to go into any place you want and feast on crepes until you've had your fill. Who cares who else is there?


unluckyinluv wrote :
I mean, what are the chances?! It was nice to have that little slap in the face this Monday morning. And re-gifting a date; tacky or acceptable?! I vote tacky.

He who pays the piper calls the tune.

And has his vote counted.
 
  Reply With Quote
RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #4  December 28,2009, 6:45pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

Northwest

Posts: 3,239

See profile

I suppose this could happen to me-now that I think about it! I do first meets at coffee shops in the area-there are 3 or 4 that I go to regularly.

Honestly, though, if I had wanted that crepe, I would have just gone and ordered it. If he even noticed you, it's easy to just, say, do a vague "Do I know you???" type of 'Hi' finger wave. Always bring a book.
 
  Reply With Quote
yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #5  December 28,2009, 6:46pm
yoga_gal's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 4,782

See profile

Hi, unluckyinlove.

If you have only been on two eharmony dates I think it is a little premature to think your eharmony matches aren't seeing other people. Never assume exclusivity until it is discussed and that is way too early.

I don't know about the regifting of the date thing being tacky. I have been known to frequent the same restaurants with different dates.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #6  December 28,2009, 6:50pm
Mainah64's Avatar

is taking his mini van to the dragstrip in the spring - aiming for mid 15's

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

South western Maine

Posts: 717

See profile

unluckyinluv wrote :
I went out for two dates with a match I met on eharmony. On Date Number 2, we went to this newly opened crepe restaurant in the neighbourhood where we both coincidently live. Things went well, and I left the date fully expecting a Date Number Three.

So, I just arrived back in town today, and lo and behold, of all things, I was craving a crepe. I walked to the neighbourhood crepe restaurant, and see HIM- my E-Potential- through the restaurant window; sitting with another girl (gorgeous girl, might I add) and flirting over crepes! He re-used our date! Only a week after! If anything, I think, it's like the re-gifting of the dating world.

I stopped in my tracks and immediately did a 180. It would have been way awkward for me to have gone in and casually ordered a crepe, right? I mean, I would have had to say "hi"; and then what? Would he have introduced me to his new date? Or worse, would he have introduced me of his other e-harmony match? I let my dignity overcome my appetite (something I don't often do), and slumped away from the restaurant and into a Starbucks for a latte instead.

I mean, what are the chances?! It was nice to have that little slap in the face this Monday morning. And re-gifting a date; tacky or acceptable?! I vote tacky.
You made a huge mistake.

I would have taken the closest spot and then act suprised that he was there and say hello. Not really but....

Crepes should always override dignity. Especially my Mom's crepes.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  December 28,2009, 6:53pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,660

See profile

Although funny to picture the scenarios, people do in fact meet many matches until selecting one, so there is nothing wrong.

Also, people may be having a business dinner ... if a dating partner embarrased me with jealousy in front of a professional associate, I would cast her out instantly.

My last dating partner had many professional contacts; if I had encountered her in a restaraunt, I would ignore her and go about my business - assuming she had a boss, client, etc, with her.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #8  December 28,2009, 7:17pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

Mmmm. Crepes. I'm hungry now.

The date didn't do anything wrong by taking another date to the same place. There's many fine restaurants where I live, but if I'm picking the place (or we mutually agree from places we've both listed), I often end up at the same restaurant on successive dates with different guys. I've never really thought about what would happen if a previous date showed up, but for the place I go it is quite likely he would be there with another date, too.

We often say on these boards how it's okay to date others at the same time, especially early on... yet having that reality hit us in the face (seeing your date out with someone else) can bring on terrible feelings of disappointment and resentment in some. It's a fine line to walk... seeing multiple people, yet doing so discreetly so as not to ruin a chance with one of them later.

I did have a prospective date suggest a restaurant that had become "our place" with my last long-term guy and I know he regularly hangs out there, whether with a date or alone. I have consciously avoided going there with a new date... it would be far too awkward to go there knowing x-boyfriend could be there.... and I do not trust him to not come over and make some snarky comment if we were to run into him.
 
  Reply With Quote
jussmile is offline jussmile Post #9  December 28,2009, 7:29pm
jussmile's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

Seattle

Posts: 3,837

See profile

there are only a few interesting place in the short vicinity of where I live. If I'm meeting a date for drinks, most likely, not going to drive too far, and I will meet them at one of my 3-4 favorite places... this could absolutely happen to me... hasn't but could.
 
  Reply With Quote
DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #10  December 28,2009, 8:35pm
DennisWiscons…'s Avatar

Milwaukee

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Milwaukee

Posts: 5,720

See profile

I'm sorry but this happened to you... talk about busted! And talk about busted...

I actually had a waiter recognize me and welcome me back right in front of my - very different - date... It was like I was in some kind of comedy movie...

...so I don't do that anymore, I'm just not lucky enough to take those kinds of chances.
.
.
.
_____________________________________________
Come and join the conversation in eHa groups:
Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, and Other Movies
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Ladies, do you automatically assume he is lying? | Dating | only attracted to the risk? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
What to Look For Before Elivating Dating to Relationship DennisWisconsin Dating 25 March 11,2012 3:19pm
Is dating like interviewing for a job? Sawyer76 Dating 70 December 26,2010 8:39am
Has Texting Become the Scourge of the Dating World? wilky Dating 94 January 28,2010 11:33am
Dating people that you have no emotional or physical attraction to questioning Dating 41 November 10,2009 11:29am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:27pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0