Anyone thinking about the 2nd family!!


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  December 27,2009, 8:15pm
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I have kids, and it seems like that for the most part, of the guys that I might get serious with, and take it to the next level, they are interested in the "2nd family." They do not have kids, or only have one kid from a previous relationship, and very much interested in having more kids, in addition to the ones I already have.

This could be because they just want kids of their own, totally understandable, or that my kids' dad is very active in their lives, so they would not come into the picture with the expectation of being a father to my children.

I'm just curious how this has worked for people in the past? I'm still young enough, and capable of having more children. Haven't decided whether or not I personally want anymore children, but would be open to it if my partner and life companion wanted additional kiddos.

Has anyone already been through this? How did it work out? What were the concerns that needed to be addressed?

Premature to say the least, but I'm seriously thinking about it as it seems older guys are into this these days... or just the ones I'm getting !
 
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parakeetjordan is offline parakeetjordan Post #2  December 27,2009, 10:46pm
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I'm probably in the same situation as you are, as many, if not all, of the men that I am dating are either never married and want a child of their own, or divorced with no children, and want a child of their own. I, too, am young enough to have more children. Even the guy I recently mistakenly slept with on the second date told me during our second date that he is looking for a girlfriend and that he thinks it's time for him to "procreate." He's divorced with no children.

I would say that marrying a man without any children may make life easier in the long run than marrying a man with children in some ways. The difficult part is going through the pregnancy and baby process all over again when your kids are already out of diapers and are for the most part increasingly independent, but I love children, and I am warming to the idea.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  December 28,2009, 11:31am
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Interesting question even though I am a bit old for this conversation. Two comments though.

1. I had a match ask if I felt I had missed out on anything because I have no children. I have to say yes.

2. I would consider a matches children as my own even if there is a biological father involved.
 
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_Lisa_ is offline _Lisa_ Post #4  December 28,2009, 3:56pm
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I am young enough to have more children too; however I have 2 kids of my own...they are 9 and 6.

I would not want the "yours, mine and ours" or "mine and ours" ...I really think it is unfair to the children you already have; especially if they are small. They would feel as if they don't fit it to the family because once you have another child and that child's parents are married and live together it puts a strain on the kids that are from a previous relationship. I think the ideal would be yours and mine if you are both coming from previous relationships.

This is jmho...

Lisa
 
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