How do you define "Nice Guy"


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
JDavid is offline JDavid Post #1  December 27,2009, 5:53am
JDavid's Avatar

Changed Status -- Success Story

Community Leader Alum

Joined: May 2009

Ozarks of northern Arkansas

Posts: 382

See profile

1. What, exactly, do you mean when you use the term "nice guy"? What does it take to rate that description?

2. What connotations does the term carry?

3. Can a man be "alpha" and also "nice"?

4. What is the difference between "nice" and "milquetoast"?
 
  Reply With Quote
Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #2  December 27,2009, 6:04am
Mokkesofie's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 8,463

See profile

JDavid wrote :

3. Can a man be "alpha" and also "nice"?
My ex-BF was both, so yes. Just as much as an "alpha-female" can be both that and nice.
 
  Reply With Quote
Spider is offline Spider Post #3  December 27,2009, 6:06am
Spider's Avatar

got 174 new students this year

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2007

Posts: 1,919

See profile

A Nice Guy is courteous, straightforward, respects others and himself, has integrity, works hard, and plays well with others. (though he might occasionally run with scissors ) He's not a door mat - that would violate the self-respect above - but his assertiveness never degenerates into bullying or aggressive behavior. Alternate term: "a decent guy". The type of man you want as a neighbor.

The term "alpha": It's not, to me, an aggressive, caveman type who's going to beat up all the other men and sling a woman over his shoulder and carry her off. It's more (in my mind) a man with natural leadership qualities who can inspire confidence in his team and make executive decisions when necessary. So a nice guy can also be alpha, but doesn't have to be. Some nice guys are strong but not leaders.

Others will have, and will certainly post, differing definitions.
 
  Reply With Quote
MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #4  December 27,2009, 7:20am
MelinCali's Avatar

is moving!

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Earth

Posts: 8,113

See profile

JDavid wrote :

4. What is the difference between "nice" and "milquetoast"?
One of these words is in my vocabulary, the other is not.
 
  Reply With Quote
Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #5  December 27,2009, 7:50am
Lilycat's Avatar

Just been lurking for a while....... but back again lol.

Pacesetter

Joined: Nov 2009

Canada

Posts: 463

See profile

Spider wrote :
A Nice Guy is courteous, straightforward, respects others and himself, has integrity, works hard, and plays well with others. (though he might occasionally run with scissors ) He's not a door mat - that would violate the self-respect above - but his assertiveness never degenerates into bullying or aggressive behavior. Alternate term: "a decent guy". The type of man you want as a neighbor.

The term "alpha": It's not, to me, an aggressive, caveman type who's going to beat up all the other men and sling a woman over his shoulder and carry her off. It's more (in my mind) a man with natural leadership qualities who can inspire confidence in his team and make executive decisions when necessary. So a nice guy can also be alpha, but doesn't have to be. Some nice guys are strong but not leaders.

Others will have, and will certainly post, differing definitions.
I think this has pretty well said it for me, the term "nice guy" is a positive thing to me. For me it is equal to "decent person"

Lilycat
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  December 27,2009, 7:57am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

JDavid wrote :
4. What is the difference between "nice" and "milquetoast"?
MelinCali wrote :
One of these words is in my vocabulary, the other is not.
I sort of suspected that Mr. JDavid was dating himself with the Milquetoast reference. It refers to a comic strip character Casper Milquetoast from 1935. A definition would be someone who is a timid, meek, or unassertive person
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  December 27,2009, 7:58am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Spider wrote :
A Nice Guy is courteous, straightforward, respects others and himself, has integrity, works hard, and plays well with others. (though he might occasionally run with scissors ) He's not a door mat - that would violate the self-respect above - but his assertiveness never degenerates into bullying or aggressive behavior. Alternate term: "a decent guy". The type of man you want as a neighbor.

The term "alpha": It's not, to me, an aggressive, caveman type who's going to beat up all the other men and sling a woman over his shoulder and carry her off. It's more (in my mind) a man with natural leadership qualities who can inspire confidence in his team and make executive decisions when necessary. So a nice guy can also be alpha, but doesn't have to be. Some nice guys are strong but not leaders.

Others will have, and will certainly post, differing definitions.
But not as a match / date / mate
 
  Reply With Quote
Spider is offline Spider Post #8  December 27,2009, 8:05am
Spider's Avatar

got 174 new students this year

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2007

Posts: 1,919

See profile

Someone you'd want as a neighbor.
Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
But not as a match / date / mate
Maybe you wouldn't be interested in such a man , but that's exactly what I, and many other women, look for.

And I found one.

Please note, there may be many, many, nice guys out there, but not all will be compatible matches. It takes more than just decency and courtesy, etc. - there has to be some sexual attraction and "chemistry" (whatever that is), too. But a nice guy is worth ten players or egotists, any day.
 
  Reply With Quote
JDavid is offline JDavid Post #9  December 27,2009, 8:06am
JDavid's Avatar

Changed Status -- Success Story

Community Leader Alum

Joined: May 2009

Ozarks of northern Arkansas

Posts: 382

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I sort of suspected that Mr. JDavid was dating himself with the Milquetoast reference. It refers to a comic strip character Casper Milquetoast from 1935. A definition would be someone who is a timid, meek, or unassertive person
Right on all counts G8G. The term derives from a depression era cartoon character -- but has become a more widely accepted term defined by Merriam Webster as "a timid, meek, or unassertive person".

I don't go back quite as far as the comic, but perhaps more than a little "dated" compared to others here. More "experienced" is another way to look at the matter.

I mentioned the term because some equate nice with being meek or humble -- whereas an assertive person of either gender is often regarded as "not very nice".
 
  Reply With Quote
PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #10  December 27,2009, 8:15am
PR_Princess's Avatar

Fly like an eagle...Let my spirit carry me

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 685

See profile

JDavid wrote :
1. What, exactly, do you mean when you use the term "nice guy"? What does it take to rate that description?

2. What connotations does the term carry?

3. Can a man be "alpha" and also "nice"?

4. What is the difference between "nice" and "milquetoast"?
1 &2: Personally if I am using the term "nice guy" it means in general he has a pleasant attitude and gets along with people, nothing more and nothing less. This person doesn't stand out in a crowd but blends into it so in essence he gives off the generic type of energy. I wouldn't hesitate to go out with this person as a friend as you are guaranteed to have a pleasant experience but there is not necessarily any spark that would motivate something more. A "nice guy" is a good colleague at work or a pleasant acquaintance in your personal life.

3. It's challenging but a man can be "alpha" and be "nice" This connotes to me a male that is well balanced. He is confident and successful in his endeavors but is also humble enough to know that he is not the sole owner of his success as there are many factors/people in his life that contributed to his present station in life. There are times when he may not be so "nice" and it is primarily centered around a situation where there is some injustice taking place. This is the person who stands out in people's mind as a person that can be depended on professionally and personally. His high positive energy and good character illicit an equally positive response from those around him.

4. "Milquetoast" has a lot of negative connotations. It basically means a person who has an underdeveloped personality. In Spanish we say this person is "an hoja seca" (literal translation: a dry leaf). They have no outside interest or common interest with the common man. Frequently these type of people are culturally/socially unaware and introverted to the point of living in their own world. I feel for this type of person because even their attempts at connections can fail due to the fact that they can offend/put off people with the things they say and do. This is not a permanent condition and constantly engaging in social activities with diverse people is a good remedy. That computer mogul who joined "Dancing with the Stars" comes to mind as a good example.

IMHO...I think a person who has a well-balanced sense of themselves and that is constantly engaging in the community and the people around them is a good formula for being a successful human being
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Stood up | Dating | Single! Again. »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
How do you define intelligence? fierio4000 Intelligent Conversation 13 October 4,2009 10:22am
"Nice to Haves" tab - question FrenchGoy Using eHarmony 4 September 15,2009 4:33pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:18pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0