Why are women the ones who are always surprised?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
alex751 is offline alex751 Post #1  December 26,2009, 1:21pm

Unregistered

Joined: Mar 2009

Midwest

Posts: 122

See profile

A few years ago I was working on a project for online dating and needed to obtain data. I approached one of the largest online dating sites in the country (either eHarmony or Match.com, you guess).

After several weeks of collaboration, I gained a good deal of knowledge about the industry and what works and what doesn't regarding profitability of online dating sites.

However, one of the fascinating issues that kept coming up is that when dozens of engaged or married couples who met on the site visited headquarters to tell their story, it was always the woman, not the man, who was surprised the dating service actually worked.

Why do you think this is true?
 
  Reply With Quote
Iconography is offline Iconography Post #2  December 26,2009, 1:30pm
Iconography's Avatar

got her own goat!

Veteran

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 1,182

See profile

Given that I know of one man who has expressed surprise, privately, that he's gotten along with any one of his matches (me!), I'm going to offer a cynical suggestion: that the men are less willing to risk "losing face" to others outside his close social circle/family by admitting they were trying something that they did not believe would work.

(I've seen this dynamic in action before from other men regarding non-dating issues. And women, too, of course, but more often from men.)
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  December 26,2009, 2:39pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,143

See profile

I'm being extremely cynical when I write this. It may be my mood, not sure.

Women are taught from an early age that the way to catch a man is with looks, our body, being $exual and playing the damsel in distress. Not with your brain, attitude, personality, independence and charm. So, yes, why wouldn't we be surprised that a place where we don't put our looks in the forefront would work?
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #4  December 26,2009, 3:06pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

I don't know the answer to your question, but when it doesn't work both the men and the women are disappointed.
 
  Reply With Quote
jussmile is offline jussmile Post #5  December 26,2009, 3:25pm
jussmile's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

Seattle

Posts: 3,837

See profile

For me, I am surprised that I have had a really good time dating, and would have never thought it could be fun meeting these "creepy" guys who would resort to online. Funny thing is, I know that I am not the only "normal" person trying it, so you would think that the thought of only "weirdos" online would not even come into play. But, that was a big hesitation for me in the beginning, and why I would totally be in the category of "surprised" if/when I actually do finally settle down and meet "the one."
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  December 26,2009, 4:08pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
I'm being extremely cynical when I write this. It may be my mood, not sure.

Women are taught from an early age that the way to catch a man is with looks, our body, being $exual and playing the damsel in distress. Not with your brain, attitude, personality, independence and charm. So, yes, why wouldn't we be surprised that a place where we don't put our looks in the forefront would work?
You don't think looks are in the forefront on dating sites?
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  December 26,2009, 4:10pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,143

See profile

jayjay wrote :
You don't think looks are in the forefront on dating sites?
Not when (especially with eHarmony) you can not put one up.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  December 26,2009, 4:13pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
Not when (especially with eHarmony) you can not put one up.
I don't follow. What do you mean? You do know that people put photos on eHarmony, right?
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  December 26,2009, 4:32pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,143

See profile

jayjay wrote :
I don't follow. What do you mean? You do know that people put photos on eHarmony, right?
Really? I thought that was only a ficticious reality. I get closed from guys who don't have photos because I don't have photos? Come on...

You know. You (meaning people in general) run across those profiles all the time. Great sounding person on paper, the "I climb Mt Everest every year!" kinda profiles. But there is never a photo. Or they claim their pics were destroyed in a failed attempt to steal highly classified documents from their computer.

Or worse,are the photos where you see that they aren't an alien being, but good luck decifering what they really look like without a magnifying glass.

And I've seen pictures of girls that my guy friends like online. I think the guys are just imagining that what they can't see is really, really great.

Pictures online are not reality.

I admit, I don't have the full length photo up yet. But I do have very current head shots. Maybe I'll get my full length up tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  December 26,2009, 4:39pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
And I've seen pictures of girls that my guy friends like online. I think the guys are just imagining that what they can't see is really, really great.
LOL. One of my favorites is the "Guess which one I am" game...photos of multiple people in a profile without specifying which one pertains to the profiled person.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« do i ask again? | Dating | Second date - what to do to get it? ;p »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
so then a women who is not real pretty can never find love???? kat5560 Dating 112 September 9,2011 8:51pm
Dateless?? Women can handle this much better than men! Ladyjuju Dating 103 January 17,2011 8:37am
What do women want...really let's have the truth. Chris34684 Dating 195 May 29,2009 10:20am
Having Friends DennisWisconsin A Man's Point of view 3 May 24,2009 7:54am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:13pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0