buttonpusher is offline buttonpusher Post #1  December 26,2009, 12:05pm
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So, someone maybe with a lot more expieriance might be able to answer this, do nice guys finish last? Do women even realize when they're screwing with a guy who is genuine with them? Do they care? Or am I at that age (25) where the "game" is dominant and being i refuse to play that game am i losing out? I dunno, Ill do anything for anyone and I enjoy helping people.

Any insight out there? Any help maybe?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  December 26,2009, 12:10pm
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buttonpusher wrote :
Ill do anything for anyone and I enjoy helping people.

I could go for a Beer.
 
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buttonpusher is offline buttonpusher Post #3  December 26,2009, 12:11pm
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I got some Sam Adams in the fridge, good enough?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  December 26,2009, 12:12pm
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Perfect!
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #5  December 26,2009, 12:26pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I could go for a Beer.
me too. look nice guys fishish last because they weren't really nice in the 1st place ... well, only in their own head.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  December 26,2009, 12:28pm
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buttonpusher wrote :
So, someone maybe with a lot more expieriance might be able to answer this, do nice guys finish last? Do women even realize when they're screwing with a guy who is genuine with them? Do they care? Or am I at that age (25) where the "game" is dominant and being i refuse to play that game am i losing out? I dunno, Ill do anything for anyone and I enjoy helping people.

Any insight out there? Any help maybe?
I have to ask where are you meeting these women?

Sometimes you might meet a woman who, yes, wants to use and abuse you as much as possible. Some (most) don't care. Some do it because they don't know any other way to treat a man. Those are the ones who really do care for you, but are the women's version of a "tool".

I remember a girl in high school (this stuck in my head THAT much) who would talk about the guy she was dating. She was telling some story about a big party, crashing on the floor at a friends house and he was there. So, in the morning, everyone is hung over and she tells him to go get something, or do something. And then she laughs about him "actually doing it". She also said something about him doing anything for her and he was "whipped" so to speak. I didn't get it at the time. She didn't really care for the guy I'm guessing. This was one of those "popluar" girls that had too much confidence for the level of their abilities and would go out of their way to cut someone down to be sure that other person knew they weren't as good as she was.

I hope you meet a woman who can appreciate all you do for her and others. It's no fun dating people like that.

Nice guys do not finish last BTW. They actually end up in better relationships because they have to go through so much to get there. The game you speak of, it's just how dating is I think.
Last edited by AndieIsMe; December 26,2009 at 2:51pm. Reason: oops!
 
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MagicalTrev is offline MagicalTrev Post #7  December 26,2009, 1:05pm
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I actually had to create an account just to answer this one because it doesn't seem like you are getting any real answers.

Yeah, nice guys finish last. Or near the end at least. Look at AndieIsMe's post. "They actually end up in better relationships because they have to go through so much to get there."

So when do they end up in those better relationships? Last, after the women have treated them poorly, passing over them because they were "boring" or "just friends" or "insert other cliche here." After the women have had enough "bad boys" and are ready to "settle down."

So, yeah, women will mess with guys who are genuine, and they might say they feel bad, but those are just empty words. They play all the games that they say they want to avoid, and that's the way it is.

So who is to blame for that? Women, right? No.

There's a difference between being a nice guy, and being a pushover. You are the only person in the world who can actually let some chick screw with you. If you don't want to play the game, don't. By all means, be polite, but don't let someone walk all over you.

Oh, and while you are on your way to the fridge for D_Lion's beer, grab me one too.
 
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buttonpusher is offline buttonpusher Post #8  December 26,2009, 1:24pm
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I really dont know what to say, this girl i was friends with and dated took me for a lot and I dunno hurt me really bad and she dont give a crap about how i felt when she betrayed my trust. Im starting to think after 3 relationships ending like that women just dont seem to care ya know....or maybe there is not a nice one out there for me...ugh
 
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Mekel is offline Mekel Post #9  December 26,2009, 1:30pm
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I think nice people (men and women alike) tend to finish last because they're unwilling to sacrifice their values and principles for a quick fix and finding the real thing takes time.
 
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kneo24 is offline kneo24 Post #10  December 26,2009, 1:48pm
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Nice guys finish last because they fail to exhibit any alpha male tendencies. This does not mean being a loud and obnoxious jerk. Be confident and show it, even when you're not. The opposite sex is just as nervous as you are. The question is, do you let the fear take hold of you, or do you over come it and make the effort?

There's been a fair share of nice guy threads here. A lot of them boil down to the fact that the men didn't know how to act around women. They weren't rude or being jerks, but at the same time they failed to be interesting and show interest. Just saying "please" and "thank you" doesn't cut it. Holding doors and opening them are nice, but that's just courtesy.

And some of them were pushovers. Passive men with zero backbone to speak of. Unless you want to be with a controlling woman, being passive all the time doesn't cut it.
 
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