had no idea that 3rd date so important to men!


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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #1  December 26,2009, 7:57am
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After so many years, I just realize what an idiot I am when it comes to the 3rd date. Had no clue that men determine go or no-go between dates 2 and 3. I've gone on most every date casually, where date 1 is no different than 2, 3, 4 and so forth.

Guys, can you shed light some on the guy brain? What's going on in your mind? And if you don't plan something really nice for a 3rd date, then you're not that into me?

What about 2nd date? If you don't try to kiss or at least hug me?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  December 26,2009, 8:04am
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This doesn't really correspond to my experience, but I would say that three meetings are suffient to detect patterns.

My first meetings are already "nice." If they're not nice enough for her, then, well, I don't know what I could do.

When I first started out I was too concerned to frighten away a woman by looking for a Kiss, hug, etc, quickly. Everytime I asked, she said yes, though, so I kept moving up the timeframe for asking. At this point, I expect at minimum a hug at the end of the first meeting.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #3  December 26,2009, 8:14am
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There are no hard and fast rules, guys don't all date the same way. Personally I don't think I have any set pattern for dates...the first one is usually pretty low-key and casual, but after that it depends a lot of who I'm dating, as I try to plan dates that are a good match...for example if we connect on an enjoyment of things outdoors then going for a hike, or if she also likes jazz then going to somewhere we can listen to it live.

It is also worth noting the what constitutes "something really nice" will vary from guy to guy....I'm pretty sure that the nice dinner I took my date to a couple weeks ago wouldn't even register as an option, much less be considered nice, on D_Lion's scale of eating out.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #4  December 26,2009, 8:19am
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There are no rules there.

I don't think that you should look for anything different than the other dates. It is not a sign of anything so don't bother comparing.

A man may be hopeful that he is getting closer to sex if you have been interested through 3 dates. He will be more optimistic about your interest.
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #5  December 26,2009, 8:28am
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dietpepsi wrote :
Guys, can you shed light some on the guy brain? What's going on in your mind? And if you don't plan something really nice for a 3rd date, then you're not that into me?

What about 2nd date? If you don't try to kiss or at least hug me?
The third date is a key time. By the end of the third I have seen the person enough to decide if I want to pursue a relationship. Not sure about planning something 'really nice'. Definitely would have dinner to make sure there is a lot of time for conversation.

Second date hug or kiss? Generally not my style. If the woman has been open to ending the date like that, casual touches on the arm etc., I'll end with a kiss or hug. If not, I'll wait until the end of the third date.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  December 26,2009, 9:05am
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dietpepsi wrote :
After so many years, I just realize what an idiot I am when it comes to the 3rd date. Had no clue that men determine go or no-go between dates 2 and 3. I've gone on most every date casually, where date 1 is no different than 2, 3, 4 and so forth.

Guys, can you shed light some on the guy brain? What's going on in your mind? And if you don't plan something really nice for a 3rd date, then you're not that into me?

What about 2nd date? If you don't try to kiss or at least hug me?
I am really not comprehending this whole post at all. Seems that the women are the ones that make the determination to go on a third date. At least in my experience.

I do not see any difference between any date and the previous. I will not plan anything "more" special for the third date as an indication of interest. If I ask you out it is because I am interested, period.

I expect a hug after the first date. Though I do watch for signs that you are trying to keep me at arms length in which case I won't pursue a hug and I will also not be contacting you for a second date.

I have noticed that in this thread as with most of your threads it is all about the guy doing or not doing something. Are YOU showing interest in your match / date? Are you indicating that YOU would like to see him again? Are YOU indicating that YOU would like a hug or kiss?

Better put my standard disclaimer on this post. I don't know anything about anything.
 
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Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #7  December 26,2009, 9:06am
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Dietpep, I've always believed the woman makes the decision for the guy by the 3rd date. If he hasn't kissed her, she assumes no interest and throws him into the friend zone.

While its not a rule for me, but I would say that a guy has a very good idea of whether she is girlfriend material by the 3rd date. It makes sense to make this decision by then, rather than continuing to spend time and money on her if she's not interested.

The issue here is having a sense of how interested a woman is. The best thing a woman can do if she is interested is to show it, even if its subtle. A touch on the arm, laughing at his jokes (sincerely, hopefully), smiling at him, etc.

I really think this is when both people really know how attracted they are to each other. By the 3rd date, both should have relaxed a little and can tell if there's strong chemistry. I make the decision even sooner, but I've been fortunate that with the women I ended up in relationships with, I could feel the attraction instantly. There was no guessing. That is the best feeling.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  December 26,2009, 9:07am
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bigfincat wrote :
There are no rules there.

I don't think that you should look for anything different than the other dates. It is not a sign of anything so don't bother comparing.

A man may be hopeful that he is getting closer to sex if you have been interested through 3 dates. He will be more optimistic about your interest.
Yes, there is the third date sex rule. Not my style though.
 
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Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #9  December 26,2009, 9:08am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I am really not comprehending this whole post at all. Seems that the women are the ones that make the determination to go on a third date. At least in my experience.

I do not see any difference between any date and the previous. I will not plan anything "more" special for the third date as an indication of interest. If I ask you out it is because I am interested, period.

I expect a hug after the first date. Though I do watch for signs that you are trying to keep me at arms length in which case I won't pursue a hug and I will also not be contacting you for a second date.

I have noticed that in this thread as with most of your threads it is all about the guy doing or not doing something. Are YOU showing interest in your match / date? Are you indicating that YOU would like to see him again? Are YOU indicating that YOU would like a hug or kiss?

Better put my standard disclaimer on this post. I don't know anything about anything.
This says it well, in my view.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  December 26,2009, 9:09am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I have noticed that in this thread as with most of your threads it is all about the guy doing or not doing something.

- Are YOU showing interest in your match / date?
- Are you indicating that YOU would like to see him again?
- Are YOU indicating that YOU would like a hug or kiss?

Better put my standard disclaimer on this post. I don't know anything about anything.

Sounds like you know all there is to know.
 
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