had no idea that 3rd date so important to men!


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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #51  January 3,2010, 4:26am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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dietpepsi wrote :
Dating is no different than anything else. You have something to offer, and want something back in return. Online dating is a market. You shop around for the best deal, at the best time.

How is it any different than trading a gallon of milk for a loaf of bread?

Man, this gets old!
Well, there doesn't seem to be any kind of system to encourage shopper loyalty and try as I might, I can't get anyone to trade two loser exes for a more efficient model but other than that, you're right, it's pretty much the same.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #52  January 3,2010, 6:01am
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dietpepsi wrote :
After so many years, I just realize what an idiot I am when it comes to the 3rd date. Had no clue that men determine go or no-go between dates 2 and 3. I've gone on most every date casually, where date 1 is no different than 2, 3, 4 and so forth.

Guys, can you shed light some on the guy brain? What's going on in your mind? And if you don't plan something really nice for a 3rd date, then you're not that into me?

What about 2nd date? If you don't try to kiss or at least hug me?
Usually it's go or no-go by the end of date 1, unless there are extenuating circumstances.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #53  January 3,2010, 6:07am
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dietpepsi wrote :

So it's been quite a filtering process for me. And it changes over time.

A few years ago, I would date guys that I can talk to and have things in common with for 1-3 months to find out that they're not Mr Right. So I was always in and out of "relationships". Had no idea that I wasn't all that into him, and would still "hang out" with guy "friends" who wanted to date me.

Fast forward to 2009, I don't even bother accepting 1st dates now unless I can seen myself raising kids with the dude. Even bananas don't ripe this quickly.

So these days, men who don't think they have a chance or don't think there's a fit or whatever other reason will drop out after the 2nd date.
I guess it's the vibes I give off. And I've been more and more alone ever since!

Initially, I thought I was screwing myself -- perhaps I should be patient, give a guy 6 months to develop feelings for me, etc etc -- because there aren't many men who are super ready. But honest to god, why date men who aren't ready when I am one dang good catch? Do I really deserve to be shopped?!

It's not that my biological clock is ticking, but that I just know what I'm looking for and hate the idea of whoever I'm into exclusively is still juggling other women.

Anyone else going through this?
Well, I can say that I used to go through this back in my year of dating, when I was looking for a girl who met all of my qualifications.

I don't even bother accepting 1st dates now unless I can seen myself raising kids with the dude. -> Mine was "If this girl isn't a Christian, and doesn't have a good relationship with her family, and isn't attractive, intelligent, and interested in me, I'm not going to bother asking her out on a date." It saved me a lot of time and effort, actually. Why go on dates with the wrong people. My buds know that I went on 54 first dates before meeting the right one, but they don't know how many thousands of profiles and hundreds and hundreds of phone calls I went through. But you have to go through them all to find the ones who you're interested in.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #54  January 3,2010, 6:16am
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dietpepsi wrote :
After so many years, I just realize what an idiot I am when it comes to the 3rd date. Had no clue that men determine go or no-go between dates 2 and 3. I've gone on most every date casually, where date 1 is no different than 2, 3, 4 and so forth.
I didn't know this either, knock me over with a feather.

wrote :
Guys, can you shed light some on the guy brain? What's going on in your mind?
Well, hopefully, we get along and we continue to get along enough to keep seeing each other.
If not, I'd hope we can be honest enough with each other to say something so we don't lead someone on or hurt the others feelings.
That's about it for me.

wrote :
What about 2nd date? If you don't try to kiss or at least hug me?
if I don't try and hug you, it's probably because you gave me a vibe like you don't want that to happen....same thing with a kiss.
Or, I could be misinterpreting your signals...or it could be the garlic chicken I had....or.....

Me brain hurts.
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #55  January 3,2010, 12:57pm
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TheThinker wrote :
Me brain hurts.
BUT...BU.... You're the THINKER!
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #56  January 3,2010, 1:01pm
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TheThinker wrote :
Me brain hurts.
If you're anything like some of the guys I work with, it just means you've been sitting for too long.
 
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JustinM is offline JustinM Post #57  January 14,2010, 8:22pm
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Speaking as a guy who will be going on a third date this weekend, I agree with most of what has been said, by the third date you should be relaxed enough around each other.

And as to dates becoming more spectacular, I would disagree in part with that, I personally find that I put more thought into the dates or at least some of them (going past 5) and this is a good sign if she notices the thought.

Just my two cents.
 
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