cityguy8 is offline cityguy8 Post #1  December 25,2009, 1:24pm
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  December 25,2009, 1:31pm
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Since it is her schedule constraint which interfered with your prior invitation, it is her responsibility to inform you when she becomes available.

I would probably ask once more (as always, a clear, specific invitation), but no more than that.
 
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Shmolga is offline Shmolga Post #3  December 25,2009, 1:56pm
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Or maybe you can bring a coffee to her. She didn't really turned you down and has been giving you favorable signals. What if instead of asking her again, you just bring a coffee to her and say something like "Since you could go to have a coffee, I brought it to you" and leave it at that. It's a simple act of kindness that is hard not to appreciate.
 
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Jotham is offline Jotham Post #4  December 25,2009, 2:11pm
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By all means ask her again. Its the holidays and her reasons certainly can be considered legit. Ask her again after the holidays, when schedules arent nearly so hectic.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #5  December 25,2009, 2:35pm
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I don't think the light can get any "greener" for you to go ahead, and proceed with what surely could be a nice romance, as she is interested, to start dating you, her actions are screaming that she is, and therefore I think that you should proceed (at a mutually comfortable pace) to court her, (
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  December 25,2009, 2:42pm
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Shmolga wrote :
Or maybe you can bring a coffee to her. She didn't really turned you down and has been giving you favorable signals. What if instead of asking her again, you just bring a coffee to her and say something like "Since you could go to have a coffee, I brought it to you" and leave it at that. It's a simple act of kindness that is hard not to appreciate.

I have to say, I think this gives a high risk of coming across as fawning - huge mistake, with no incremental gain.

This is especially awkard for a workplace match, where he will have to contend with the instant jokes about "having a crush" if anyone sees. That adds a lot of difficulty for a couple to have to start out with.

His prospect may legitimately be busy this week; she gave specific reasons for specific days.

OP - and anyone dealing with navigating the first few meetings' "how-do-I-get-them-to-date-me?" preamble, you asked, she deferred. For now, trust her and bide your time. Find something to do ... like, tell us some Jokes!
 
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kneo24 is offline kneo24 Post #7  December 25,2009, 3:22pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Since it is her schedule constraint which interfered with your prior invitation, it is her responsibility to inform you when she becomes available.

I would probably ask once more (as always, a clear, specific invitation), but no more than that.
This is probably the most solid advice you will get for this question.

Asking once more won't hurt, but don't keep asking. It makes you seem needy.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #8  December 25,2009, 4:44pm

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Yes--ask once more-Monday morning.

"Can I buy you lunch today?." This then offers you a bit more than coffee time and the chance for arranging an off work hours date for sometime, maybe after the New Years.

Personally I wouldn't find bringing me coffee fawning at all, just a very nice gesture, but unless you know how she likes her coffee (light decaf with hazelnut no froth) or whatever, you run the risk of buying her something she won't drink.

I'd go for it once more next week, then if turned down, hold off until a group gathering again, to make sure you have picked up the right signals.
 
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TravelBarbie is offline TravelBarbie Post #9  December 25,2009, 4:46pm
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YES!!! ABSOLUTELY ASK HER AGAIN!!!

For reals - being busy, especially around the holidays is totally normal. As a woman in her late twenties, I would be expecting and hoping YOU to ask again. Most women like to be pursued - and you giving up after one try is silly. If you try again next week and she is "busy" and makes no suggestions towards a "raincheck"...well then I would say the ball is in her court.

I'm gonna have to disagree with the guys who say "its her schedule, so its her responsibility." In my opinion that is wrong. She already took the first step beyond work related interaction to invite you to coffee. Clearly she likes you. I can almost guarantee she is looking for reciprocation on your part. And one failed attempt by you to ask her out, because she was genuinely busy, SHOULD NOT prevent you from asking again. If you feel the chemistry, if you think she's worth a little effort, if you like her, then hells bells go for it. Don't play some silly pride game - ask her out again FOR SURE!!!!! Good luck!
 
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Jotham is offline Jotham Post #10  December 25,2009, 4:59pm
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In no way am I insisting that my viewpoint is the correct one. It could very well be wrong. But the arguments made against asking a second time make the situation sound like a chess match....and chess is a game.

IMO the question to ask is thus:

Are the possibilities you see in this gal worthy of asking her a second time? The answer should point to what you should do next.
 
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