artlady1 is offline artlady1 Post #1  December 24,2009, 12:42pm
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Hello everyone. I am new here, and this is first post. I have a quick observation/question, which I am sure is not the first post.

I met a man, and we had so much in common. Equally intelligent, looking for similar, and liking many common things. I informed him, and it is in profile, that I am Christian, and want to wait until marriage for sexual activity. This may even be negotiable, if the circumstances are right, but I do not want any more "hit and run". I have already been married, and know, enough about societies liberal attitude. I have never had an experience that went well under rapid-sex circumstances.

So, not to sound too winded, we went on our 1st date, which was fine, until he started pressuring me to spend time with him. He said, "Now that I found you, I don't want to say goodbye. His roommates were home, so he wanted to get a hotel room. I said, no, and he continued to push that he just wanted to hold me and be with me. That he felt we could be happy together. He also said he was already "seeing" a future for us, after all our pain. He pushed very hard, even against my protest that it was not comfortable. Has anyone else experienced this. (Im sure Yes) ?? How do I avoid this in the future, if there are any recommendations. I swear I did not see it coming. I think he just expected to "try me out".

AnyHoo, I said no, but he felt I had more faith in God than him. Hello. I DO. He said it was not going to work out, goodbye. Fine.
I think this is more of a statement, but I wont mind feedback, if anyone is willing. Thanks. Merry Christmas.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #2  December 24,2009, 12:47pm

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artlady1 wrote :
Hello everyone. I am new here, and this is first post. I have a quick observation/question, which I am sure is not the first post.

I met a man, and we had so much in common. Equally intelligent, looking for similar, and liking many common things. I informed him, and it is in profile, that I am Christian, and want to wait until marriage for sexual activity. This may even be negotiable, if the circumstances are right, but I do not want any more "hit and run". I have already been married, and know, enough about societies liberal attitude. I have never had an experience that went well under rapid-sex circumstances.

So, not to sound too winded, we went on our 1st date, which was fine, until he started pressuring me to spend time with him. He said, "Now that I found you, I don't want to say goodbye. His roommates were home, so he wanted to get a hotel room. I said, no, and he continued to push that he just wanted to hold me and be with me. That he felt we could be happy together. He also said he was already "seeing" a future for us, after all our pain. He pushed very hard, even against my protest that it was not comfortable. Has anyone else experienced this. (Im sure Yes) ?? How do I avoid this in the future, if there are any recommendations. I swear I did not see it coming. I think he just expected to "try me out".

AnyHoo, I said no, but he felt I had more faith in God than him. Hello. I DO. He said it was not going to work out, goodbye. Fine.
I think this is more of a statement, but I wont mind feedback, if anyone is willing. Thanks. Merry Christmas.
wow. That is actually pretty extreme. I have had very few dates like that as an adult. (I do recall some guys like that in my younger years but I wouldnt call those dates, either).

This is definitley not the norm. It seems you just ran into someone that is exactly the opposite of what you are looking for.

odd.

I'd suggest being picker? I don't know, this is just a weird one!
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #3  December 24,2009, 12:48pm
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artlady1 wrote :
I am Christian, and want to wait until marriage for sexual activity. This may even be negotiable

What about kissing and holding hands?

That guy was a total player though -- lame - o.

Glad you kicked that one to the curb.

Welcome aboard, happy holidays..
Last edited by 6dle899; December 24,2009 at 12:50pm.
 
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artlady1 is offline artlady1 Post #4  December 24,2009, 1:08pm
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Thanks. We did kiss and hold hands, but it was the " let's jump in the sack and see if it works" attitude that got me. Your right, to the curb. I will move on. It was my first dating experience, that's all.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #5  December 24,2009, 1:32pm
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It amazes me how dumb some men think women are at times.......

Well, don't hold this person's behaviour against the next person you meet.

Takes all kinds to make a world.

Merry Christmas!

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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  December 24,2009, 1:52pm
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artlady1 wrote :
How do I avoid this in the future, if there are any recommendations. I swear I did not see it coming. I think he just expected to "try me out".

Well, I think you need to screen better, and for higher-quality men.

This means you have to be, and present yourself, as someone a higher-quality man will be drawn to.

As far as expecting sex, most people expect sex during dating - even more so for divorced people. Claiming "faith" as reason to wait, yet being divorced, is inconsistant.

I respect that you don't want to have sex with any fool who's available, but waiting until marriage does more harm than good, in my view.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  December 24,2009, 1:54pm
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Lilycat wrote :
It amazes me how dumb some men think women are at times...

Men do what they do because it's optimized adaptation to women's behavior.

That is the opposite of dumb.
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #8  December 24,2009, 3:32pm
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artlady1 wrote :
Hello everyone. I am new here, and this is first post. I have a quick observation/question, which I am sure is not the first post.

I met a man, and we had so much in common. Equally intelligent, looking for similar, and liking many common things. I informed him, and it is in profile, that I am Christian, and want to wait until marriage for sexual activity. This may even be negotiable, if the circumstances are right, but I do not want any more "hit and run". I have already been married, and know, enough about societies liberal attitude. I have never had an experience that went well under rapid-sex circumstances.

So, not to sound too winded, we went on our 1st date, which was fine, until he started pressuring me to spend time with him. He said, "Now that I found you, I don't want to say goodbye. His roommates were home, so he wanted to get a hotel room. I said, no, and he continued to push that he just wanted to hold me and be with me. That he felt we could be happy together. He also said he was already "seeing" a future for us, after all our pain. He pushed very hard, even against my protest that it was not comfortable. Has anyone else experienced this. (Im sure Yes) ?? How do I avoid this in the future, if there are any recommendations. I swear I did not see it coming. I think he just expected to "try me out".

AnyHoo, I said no, but he felt I had more faith in God than him. Hello. I DO. He said it was not going to work out, goodbye. Fine.
I think this is more of a statement, but I wont mind feedback, if anyone is willing. Thanks. Merry Christmas.
I agree with the 2nd poster. Wow. Blatantly insisting on sex on the first date, even after repeatedly being told "no" is DEFINITELY grounds for being kicked to the curb. And quickly!
 
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CJF is offline CJF Post #9  December 25,2009, 6:44am
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Merry Christmas artlady1!

Wow. That date sounded a bit scary. Never let anyone pressure you into something you don't want to do, especially sex. You should be proud that you stuck to your values.

Perhaps there is a Christian dating site for singles out there that you could join. This might help you meet men who want the same things you are looking for.

Glad you kicked him to the curb but I think you should have kicked him in various other places as well. One that would have brung him to his knees and made him cry "Mommy".

Maybe that's just me.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  December 25,2009, 8:44am
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6dle899 wrote :
What about kissing and holding hands?

That guy was a total player though -- lame - o.

Glad you kicked that one to the curb.

Welcome aboard, happy holidays..
+1

But you forgot to mention how much class he had. All of it low
 
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