Second date - what to do to get it? ;p


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
china_doll is offline china_doll Post #1  December 24,2009, 12:00pm
china_doll's Avatar

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

Hello! I have a problem with this guy...

We met for the first time two weeks ago during a christmas party on my uni, and went on the same parties for three days in a row (we have common friends). I began to really, really like him (but didnt tell him that, of course), so I asked him out a few days ago - although i didnt indicate its a date, but just a meeting (many of our friends went somewhere for christmas, so it makes sense to meet only in 2 people).

We met on Tuesday, and i think we both enjoyed the meeting, spent 8 hours together. During that time he indicated for a few times he'd like to see me again, saying things like "we can see that movie sometime", "we can go there some other time"etcetc, but nothing specific.

After the meeting we texted a bit, talked on fb or skype for sometime, but he never said anything about meeting again...

So I kinda don't know what to do. I would ask him out again, but i just don't want to seem too eager, as i asked him out for the first time...

But I am a bit afraid just to wait, cause i suspect my classmate (but not my close friend or anything) likes him as well...

If you could help me, advise me somehow, it would be great
 
  Reply With Quote
RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #2  December 24,2009, 6:43pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

Northwest

Posts: 3,239

See profile

I'd say the ball is in his court..for at least a few days.

Good for you for asking him out..but it needs to be reciprocal for it to work.

If you don't hear from him by monday or tuesday, I'd give him a call and suggest another meet-a movie or something. If he doesn't ask you for a date after that, I'd think you've fallen into the friend zone.

Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  December 24,2009, 7:17pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,660

See profile

Are you conventional college-age?

I think many (most?) such people are only just beginning to learn about relationships, and "hanging out" and "hooking up" seems to be common.

If he has romantic intent toward you, he will be trying to ... ahem ... consumate that intent.

Usually I would say you should not wait more than this weekend, but with young people often travelling to be back at a parents' home, and schools having long breaks, I think waiting more time is right.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  December 25,2009, 6:01pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

I do understand the college age bit and all but I really don't see that he is interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. I am going to guess that he may not be interested in a romantic relationship with anyone at this time in his life.
 
  Reply With Quote
richey is online now richey Post #5  December 26,2009, 8:14pm
richey's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

san francisco, ca

Posts: 2,765

See profile

I'm curious how you responded to his suggestions to seeing each other again? Did you respond that that would be great? Or did you play coy and shy away from responding as if you were interested?

If the latter, then that is the reason he isn't asking you out (why would he if he suggested doing something and you responded in an "uninterested" way?)

I would bring it up again the next time you talk and ask him if he ever saw "that movie". If he hasn't, then suggest you go see it (or do one of the things he suggested).

That should make it clear you're interested in seeing him (since you have purposely tried to NOT let him kow you are interested to this point) and then it is up to him after "hanging out #2" to ask you next time.

Good luck.
Richey
 
  Reply With Quote
activeteacher is offline activeteacher Post #6  December 27,2009, 2:34am
activeteacher's Avatar

is enjoying the wonderful countryside

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2009

Iowa

Posts: 283

See profile

Jeeez, and gals wonder why guys are all confused. Why did you NOT tell the guy you are interested? I know there are times (ok, always) that a gal has to almost use a 2x4 to have me notice she is interested. Something like "hey! I thought we were going to go see 'that movie' together!" will get close to that.

Also, it IS Christmas time. Is he home with family? He may be swamped with stuff. My school vacations were either boringly dead or I was swamped. Really varied.

Richey asked great questions. Let us know the answers.
 
  Reply With Quote
gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #7  December 27,2009, 2:58am
gothustartus's Avatar

is thinking about someone special

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2009

London, England

Posts: 1,753

See profile

It's all very well people saying the ball is in his court, but does he actually know that? You asked him out on a non-date, and where he was saying you could do X,Y or Z together sometime you don't really give the impression that you gave enthusiastic or encouraging answers.
If i were in his position i'd assume you just want to hang out as friends and proceed on that basis, i wouldn't be putting on any date moves for a person if i didn't know i was dating her.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Why are women the ones who are always surprised? | Dating | Just an object?? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Fear of Date? passat1 Dating 12 May 2,2011 8:13am
Second Date ChiqueNfun Ask a Dating Expert 23 July 26,2010 8:38am
No second date yet.......I feel so stupid. itsabeatutifulday Dating 36 April 16,2010 7:06pm
Date #1 was AMAZING. Date #2 was cancelled. Please help CMackNJ Ask a Dating Expert 20 February 2,2010 4:01pm
I cannot believe that I slept with him on the second date. Advice needed. newdater123 Dating 262 January 28,2010 6:06am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:11pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0