No kiss after the third date!


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LMH56 is offline LMH56 Post #1  December 24,2009, 7:50am
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I met a guy. We have gone on three dates so far, and he seems like a good guy. He seems interested, and so am I. Thing is, he seems overly shy, and stiff.

After our first date, he gave me a nice, warm hug . After the second date, i expected at least a peck on the cheek....but no, we hugged. Third date came along, we went to dinner, went for a long walk (he didn't hold my hand ), we talked a lot, lots of laughter, it was a good date. At the end, he didn't walk me to my car (hmmm), he gave me a rather cold hug (oh my!), what's wrong with this guy? I had to fight the urge to grab him and give him a kiss!
I'm starting to wonder. Is something wrong with this guy?

The thing is, he is divorced and his wife left him for another woman! Need I say more?

I'm kinda new (after a divorce and long break from dating) to the dating world again. I have read a lot of posts on this forum and I would like some input.

I kinda like this guy, and I feel comfortable with him enough to get a little closer (not have sex!).

Am I wrong to expect a kiss (or atleast a peck on the cheek) after the third date?!
Should I make the first move? I'm afraid I'll scare him off, but common! We are both adults.
Or perhaps, should I trust my instincts and run. He told me about his previous dates, and how he's been with EH for years and still a member, still looking.
Am I reading too much into nothing? Perhaps I should just have 'the talk' with him.

What do you think?
 
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fjp5 is offline fjp5 Post #2  December 24,2009, 7:58am
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It sounds like he is just trying to establish the boundaries of dating. He is shy, just coming out a bad breakup so he is new to dating again, nexttime make a move yourself, grab his hand and take it from there. He may just need a little encourgment that it is OK to be affectionate.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #3  December 24,2009, 8:14am
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Yes, I guess it's time to find out....


I agree, at the end of the next date, take one of his hands in one of yours, wrap your other arm around him, draw him to you as you lean in and give a soft lingering kiss, and see if he responds...

(that is NOT being cheap, loose, easy or sleazy, for the record).


Then you'll know right away, where you stand. Ifyou notice no response back from the kiss, then you have your answer; time to chalk it up and move on...
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #4  December 24,2009, 8:29am

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Some people take things slow, including kissing and holding hands.

Nothing to worry if you didn't get either on third date.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #5  December 24,2009, 8:34am
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PY_2 wrote :
Some people take things slow, including kissing and holding hands.

Nothing to worry if you didn't get either on third date, if you both are fifteen years old.
Fixed.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #6  December 24,2009, 8:38am
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If the guy doesn't take the initiative and kiss the gal by a certain date, why is the question "Is there something wrong with the guy?"

Why don't women take the initiative if they're not happy with the progress? I've had first dates where women showed they were open and expecting some kind of kiss as well as one who took the lead.

There are a number of answers to the OP.

1. Maybe he's gay.
2. Maybe he read too many dating books by Christian Carter.
3. Maybe he's just not that into you.
4. Maybe it's not him, it's you.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #7  December 24,2009, 8:56am
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tweet37 wrote :
4. Maybe it's not him, it's you.

^^^^
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  December 24,2009, 9:11am
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LMH56 wrote :
Thing is, he seems overly shy, and stiff.

I'm starting to wonder. Is something wrong with this guy?

This is my intepretation, too. Shy, uncomfortable, unfamiliar around women, not used to dating at all. Especially if he had a long marriage.

I think matters of inexperience, different place on the learning curve, are fine to accept in a partner and it is best to go forward and give such people a chance.


LMH56 wrote :
I had to fight the urge to grab him and give him a kiss!

Should I make the first move? I'm afraid I'll scare him off, but common! We are both adults.

I think the safest option is to lean in and ask for a kiss. However, in my opinion if you need to be that safe, then this man may not be right for you. I think enough men are simply too worried of scaring a woman to take action on his own.

Another option is some comical faux indignation: put your hands on your hips and announce "where's my Kiss?"


LMH56 wrote :
Am I wrong to expect a kiss (or atleast a peck on the cheek) after the third date?!

You're not wrong, but your partner can not know your expectations unless you state them.

***

Of all the things I have learned from this advice service, to be more aggressive with women in the early meetings is the one I am most likely to be able to employ and benefit from in my own life.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #9  December 24,2009, 9:15am
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D_Lion wrote :
***

Of all the things I have learned from this advice service, to be more aggressive with women in the early meetings is the one I am most likely to be able to employ and benefit from in my own life.

+1

(Apparently) --- Confidence rulez, with wimmenz
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  December 24,2009, 9:29am

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6dle899 wrote :
Fixed.
True...then when they turn sixteen they brag about their cars to girls
 
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