kitchenwench is offline kitchenwench Post #91  January 3,2010, 8:19am
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First, did you ask why he lied about his age. I am dating someone who lied about his age and he told me why. Which was a reasonable answer, but then I told him that his picture says he looks older for his age instead of mature and handsome for his age two way sword.
Second, the mensa thing he is an egghead. I have found that really smart people are socially clueless. Not to mention his friends are eggheads probably did not give him good advice as far as behavior. And first dates are not always good. You should at least go on three to get the big picture about someone (unless they are a total loss). And finally, the separate bill thing did you agree to go on a dutch date. If you did you should have no complaints.
 
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Lucee is offline Lucee Post #92  January 3,2010, 3:07pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
So, I met a guy for drinks/dinner this evening. It was HORRIBLE!

First, I wouldn't have guessed it but he lied about his age (fairly handsome and young looking). Not 1 or 2 years, not even just 5, TEN years. Holy Hormel Hash Batman!

Besides the age thing really digging into the back of my head, he wasn't that great of a date.

Didn't buy my one beer. I was sure to pay for the beer and dinner I had before he arrived myself. When he was ordering his beer he made sure to say "seperate tabs". I felt this was a sure sign he was not interested. I was wrong!

So we talked. He admitted to being in Mensa. That took some prodding because he seemed so against telling me what "group" he was in. Not a biggie, but he made it a big thing that I might have a prejudice against it. He interrupted me several times. I mean like 10 to 20, not just 3 or 4. He asked me questions multiple times. He pulled information from his immense brain and got it WRONG! (make a cheat sheet if you have a bad memory!) Overall, I was so unimpressed.

So, the lying really got to me and the rest didn't help. And he seemed to want to end things early, so I thought good, he isn't really that interested. Again, I'm WRONG!

Oh, yeah, he ateabout 3/4 of my hot fudge sundae (that I paid for). Not even ONE beer and you eat my sundae?

When I was walking back to my car (I declined his offer to walk me there), he called. And after I got home, he texts me.

I actually thought to myself, maybe I can forgive the age thing. But the rest just tired me out! I can't keep up with it.

So, I'm at home, drinking a beer, that I paid for thank you! And have to figure out a nice way to tell this guy that I'm not interested. My goodness! It's just before Christmas and I'm trying to be nice about this!

OK, so this is my rant for the evening. Hopefully.

Any suggestions?

I'm curious...curious about 2 things.
#1 Are u ranting because he lied to you about his age or because he lied to you period?
#2 Suggestions...suggestions for what??? You said right off that the date was terrible so...it is what it is...a terrible date. I don't think that u are under any obligation to him to be nice or polite (and I don't mean that u should be mean to him)...it doesn't seem like he was either one to u. I would think that that would be "end of story".
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #93  January 3,2010, 3:57pm
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Lucee wrote :
I'm curious...curious about 2 things.
#1 Are u ranting because he lied to you about his age or because he lied to you period?
#2 Suggestions...suggestions for what??? You said right off that the date was terrible so...it is what it is...a terrible date. I don't think that u are under any obligation to him to be nice or polite (and I don't mean that u should be mean to him)...it doesn't seem like he was either one to u. I would think that that would be "end of story".

I was looking for a way to get through to a person who obviously doesn't get basic person to person communication. It's one thing to fumble around with bad dating behaviour, it is quite another to purposely do what you have been told is not ok. I think there was so much bad to take in, I was lost in a bad date dream and wasn't sure which way to go.

And my rant was really just that. A rant. My frustration level got so high I had to put it down on paper (screen). It does help to have feedback too. Pointing out my mistakes can help me more on my next venture.
 
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theweave is offline theweave Post #94  January 3,2010, 6:04pm
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Hey I have thought of a way that lets him down gently and saves face for you:

Dear (insert name here),

Hope you had a good holiday season!

I just wanted to let you know that I have found someone else and am dating him now.

I wish you the best of luck in your search for love.

(sign your name here)
-----

That gets you out of it and yes it may be a little white lie but probably not for long if your pic on here is correct, I don't think you have trouble getting dates. Now getting good ones is another story!

I have received a couple of these emails, trust me I get the message, they have moved on and are not into me.

Feel free to cut and paste if you like!
 
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referee is offline referee Post #95  January 8,2010, 1:37pm
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To bad about the age thing, I had a first meeting and the women obviously looked at least 10 years older than the pictures she posted. One of them was her with her horses and I love horses. So I asked her about them and she said she got rid of them 10 years ago. I wanted to ask about it but did not want to give her a hard time, her pictures were 10 years old.
I do not care about the age thing but the lack of honesty was too much to overlook. She was very attractive but I had to politely decline further communication honesty is the best policy.
Good Luck.
 
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cemell54 is offline cemell54 Post #96  January 9,2010, 7:25am
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..
AndieIsMe wrote :
So, I met a guy for drinks/dinner this evening. It was HORRIBLE!

First, I wouldn't have guessed it but he lied about his age (fairly handsome and young looking). Not 1 or 2 years, not even just 5, TEN years. Holy Hormel Hash Batman!

Besides the age thing really digging into the back of my head, he wasn't that great of a date.

Didn't buy my one beer. I was sure to pay for the beer and dinner I had before he arrived myself. When he was ordering his beer he made sure to say "seperate tabs". I felt this was a sure sign he was not interested. I was wrong!

So we talked. He admitted to being in Mensa. That took some prodding because he seemed so against telling me what "group" he was in. Not a biggie, but he made it a big thing that I might have a prejudice against it. He interrupted me several times. I mean like 10 to 20, not just 3 or 4. He asked me questions multiple times. He pulled information from his immense brain and got it WRONG! (make a cheat sheet if you have a bad memory!) Overall, I was so unimpressed.

So, the lying really got to me and the rest didn't help. And he seemed to want to end things early, so I thought good, he isn't really that interested. Again, I'm WRONG!

Oh, yeah, he ateabout 3/4 of my hot fudge sundae (that I paid for). Not even ONE beer and you eat my sundae?

When I was walking back to my car (I declined his offer to walk me there), he called. And after I got home, he texts me.

I actually thought to myself, maybe I can forgive the age thing. But the rest just tired me out! I can't keep up with it.

So, I'm at home, drinking a beer, that I paid for thank you! And have to figure out a nice way to tell this guy that I'm not interested. My goodness! It's just before Christmas and I'm trying to be nice about this!

OK, so this is my rant for the evening. Hopefully.

Any suggestions?
 
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marlapowers is offline marlapowers Post #97  January 9,2010, 3:42pm
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I agree that lying about his age was not the deal breaker on this date. All the rest of it sounds horrendous. I hope by the time you read this you have closed the match. If not you could simply close the match and use the text that does not offer any particular reason. If you feel you owe this man an explanation and as far as I am concerned, you owe him nothing, just tell him that you feel the aquaintanceship has run its course and that you do not feel there is enough of a foundation to build a relationship on and that you would like to continue your search. If he probes and doesn't take the hint just say you have given him the reason and that you don't want to waste his time. Assure him that his perfect match is out there and wish him well. I hope this is useful.
 
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