dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #1  December 23,2009, 8:50pm
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So I'm asking for an assessment to help me gauge how well I read people when it comes to dating. The series of events are:

Met fabulous dude via online dating a couple of months ago. Very intelligent, rational. Instant chemistry. Can't stop bantering, laughing and sharing anecdotes. We were practically finishing each other's sentences.

He seems really excited about me, talks a lot about other fun dating things we should do in the near future. Neither of us typically enjoy talking on the phone, but we can talk for hours. Sometimes he even calls me 4x a day to just share some idiosyncratic thing he sees in passing. Lots of common interests, perspectives, goals, and past experiences. In our many conversations, he comes across as a big kid at heart, easy going, adventurous, socially liberal and fiscally conservative, good listener, sincere but afraid to commit and possibly confused.

So the funny thing is that we never had a third date. Seriously, how can you talk to someone for hours and hours and hours and not see her in person? I've asked him to do things, but he's always "busy". Sometimes legitimately excusable, and other times not. So I ended it after not seeing him for 2.5 weeks. Please don't ask why and what if, etc. A split second later, he's actively online dating again.

Assuming no err on my part: is he confused? not sure how he feels about me? too many other options? too much ADD? free spirit? or a player? and just strung me along? He seems responsible when it comes to dating... but you never know who's a player and who's not.

I'm just curious to see if my take on the situation is correct.
Last edited by dietpepsi; December 23,2009 at 9:03pm.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  December 23,2009, 9:00pm
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If you talked on the phone 4+ times a day (I assume you called him sometimes in addition to his 4 calls to you), and you did this for 2 months, then you are just as much to blame. Life is not lived on the phone.
 
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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #3  December 23,2009, 9:04pm
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melman wrote :
If you talked on the phone 4+ times a day (I assume you called him sometimes in addition to his 4 calls to you), and you did this for 2 months, then you are just as much to blame. Life is not lived on the phone.
Yes, I see now that I should have held back on the phone time so we can chat in person. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #4  December 23,2009, 9:10pm

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I have to wonder why this happens, when it happens to me.
The quick chemistry seems shared, the long phone conversations and fun few dates then
zilch
nada
poof
As Yoda said "There is no why. There is only do"

and it didn't/time to go on
Last edited by RoxyRedhead; December 23,2009 at 9:21pm.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #5  December 23,2009, 9:11pm
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dietpepsi wrote :
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
I don't think that's the right way to use that analogy. But whatever.

By spending that much time on the phone, do you even know for sure that he was a cow? Could have just been a big chicken.
Last edited by melman; December 23,2009 at 9:18pm.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #6  December 23,2009, 9:16pm

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,,
Last edited by RoxyRedhead; December 23,2009 at 9:22pm. Reason: goofus me
 
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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #7  December 23,2009, 9:18pm
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
I have to wonder why this happens, when it happens to me.
The quick chemistry seems shared, the long phone conversations and fun few dates then
zilch
nada
poof
As Yoda said "There is no why. There is only dp"

and it didn't/time to go on
I would typically let poofers poof, but this one was a mystery to me because I thought at the very least that we had a friendship based on commonalities. Seriously, I have NEVER met anyone I click with on so many levels.

I can always tell when the conversation is forced or when he's not interested, but perhaps this time I was seriously duped! into believing that we really clicked!
Last edited by dietpepsi; December 23,2009 at 9:20pm.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #8  December 23,2009, 9:21pm
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dietpepsi wrote :
perhaps this time I was seriously duped!
I doubt that he was playing the field, if that's what you mean. In spending so much time on the phone, he surely would have slipped up and called you the wrong name, or confused your details with someone else's, etc.

I think what you had was a serial pen-pal. Which is a rare animal among the menfolk, I should think.
 
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dinger2003 is offline dinger2003 Post #9  December 23,2009, 9:23pm
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First of all, online dating is a game for many people out there. The accessibility of available people there is infinite. If the person finds just one flaw with someone, the person moves on to another victim. The game goes on with the thrill and the excitement of flirting with somebody. Even if you think there's a connection, all of a sudden you don't hear from them again because there's another person that they're conversing with. It's all about mind games!!! Sad to see that people take advantage of online dating this way!!!

I'm very positive that there's another woman out there that he's been communicating to. Especially when you said he's back online again.

I know this one guy that's been committed to a woman, while sleeping with five other women, and presently signed-up with match.com gathering for more women to string. He's online everyday and every night. He loves talking on the phone with the women that contact him. For all I know, he's a big time player!
Last edited by dinger2003; December 23,2009 at 9:52pm.
 
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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #10  December 23,2009, 9:25pm
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melman wrote :
I don't think that's the right way to use that analogy. But whatever.

By spending that much time on the phone, do you even know for sure that he was a cow? Could have just been a big chicken.
Can he be a social butterfly but dating chicken? Is that even possible?
 
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