amysnaps is offline amysnaps Post #1  December 22,2009, 7:18pm
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So, I found a wonderful guy, started getting serious, and we recently broke it off and agreed to just be friends due to military move across the world and that seems to be working out fine. I'm sad, to say the least, but more or less thinking, oh great, now I have to try dating again. I'm tired of meeting guys online, it takes too many weirdo's to find a good one (at least 4:1 ratio). I go out every other week or so, but guys at bars aren't really looking for what I'm looking for. I live in a small town, and I honestly don't know how to meet guys. Where should I go, What do I do? How should I act so guys will approach? I'm a fun girl, and an even cooler girlfriend...but, I can't show a guy that, if I don't meet any in the first place. Plus, I'd love a date for New Years Eve, that is a must. ♥
 
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borebore is offline borebore Post #2  December 23,2009, 3:38am
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why do you live in the town that you do?
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #3  December 23,2009, 4:01am
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Even locally you'll meet weirdos. It's the risk of getting to know anyone new including friends. You've got to put yourself out there though and take chances. Join a club, sports, anything that the locals gather at...

It's all about being yourself in social situations as the more opportunities...the more likely you'll find success.
 
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meanminicooper is online now meanminicooper Post #4  December 23,2009, 5:33am
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you may find that acting or looking "approachable" will make you a target for the weirdos and bar crawlers.

often, the best relationships are formed when you and your partner dont make a conscious choice to look for each other. What a previous poster said - Join a meetup, play a rec sport. Take the pressure out of going out of your way to look for a guy.
 
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Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #5  December 23,2009, 6:02am
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Come on down to Atlanta!
 
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activeteacher is offline activeteacher Post #6  December 23,2009, 6:17am
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Look approachable. Say "Hi." and smile. Start a conversation with us.

You list your profession as a photographer. Tell them "I would love to take your picture for my portfolio. Here is my card. Call me."

BTW, as a guy, I got the "What are you? A perv?" look. Which is why I was sincere and simply handed them my card.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #7  December 23,2009, 9:13am
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I think of online dating as an "experience." I figure, eventually, I'll meet the right one. Until then, have a little fun and have some interesting entertainment if nothing else! I have met soooo many guys that I would have never met, had soooo many new experiences that I would have never had, If I had not done the online thing. At first, creepy and weird for me, now, just going with the flow and enjoying it until "Mr. Right For Me" comes along!
 
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richey is online now richey Post #8  December 23,2009, 9:35am
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Amy,

Just 2 quick thoughts.

Oh great. I have to start dating again! Believe it or not, having this mindset is having an effect on who approaches you and how things go. If you are able to switch how you look at dating to see it more as a fun thing and something to look forward to ~ you might be surprised how much things change. I started a few years back doing this and decided I would have fun on all my dates no matter if it turned out to be a match or not ~ figuring if it didn't work out, atleast I had somebody new to hang out with for "non-dates." After all, if it doesn't work with them, you never know who they might know that you would hit it off with

Where do I meet guys? Answer is everywhere, every day! Meeting the right guy doesn't just happen on dates. So just be open to talking to anybody you bump into and you never know (and even initiate convos yourself)! As far as "online" vs "bars" vs anything else ~ I don't necessarily think one way is better than the other way anymore, or that one way has a higher ratio of weirdos over the other. Back to "mindset", if you assume everybody is going to be a weirdo and just assume everybody is one ~ then that, weirdly enough, will be the types that approach you.

There was a study done back during the 40's or 50's that showed (very surprisingly and unexpectedly) exactly how much our mindset truly affects how people are to us. Had something to do with how much our mindset gives off vibes, affects our unconscious body language and tone to others, that ultimately made them subconsciously act the way we "expected" them to act (aka our mindset projected onto them without either party realizing it did).

Hope something I said was useful. Good luck.

Richey
 
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amysnaps is offline amysnaps Post #9  December 24,2009, 11:49am
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This was the most helpful feedback I have ever gotten on this board! Thanks to all the guys that have responded, it means more coming from you! haha.. I do have to change my attitude towards it all, this is going to be fun! right? haha.... And, its good to know I can initiate conversation too, I've always wondered if that seems desperate, or takes the fun out of the 'chase' for men, haha....I've read too many articles.

And to answer the first question, I live in the town that I do, because Im stuck in a lease! Only 3 months left and I'll be out of here!

Sorry though, doesn't look like Atlanta will be where Im headed
 
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redstonerocket is offline redstonerocket Post #10  December 24,2009, 12:08pm
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You 4 to 1 weirdo to normal ratio would confirm what I have read a many time on this board. The volume of guys (weirdos) on dating sites overwhelms all the young woman on the same site. Thus, the guys serious about the process are kind of out of luck.

Next year I am just going to try the meet as many people (male or female) as possible tactic. I would suggest you try the same thing.
 
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