Do you expect your date to fill your Needs?


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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #1  December 22,2009, 4:38pm
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Let's talk about "needs."

cherrypeach wrote :
I'm left feeling that my needs are never at the forefront and I'm always the one willing to shift-shape to make the relationship work. I need someone who is equally flexible and that's where I'm faltering at this point.
cp30 wrote :
I've yet to find this equally flexible man. I have found men (in my life) to be more predictable and set in their ways.

Now, I look for little from a dating partner (qualities like dependability - which all people ought to have at all times), but I don't look to have "my needs" filled by them.

So, what are your "needs"?

What are the "needs" your dating partners have expressed to you?

How do you / did you react / respond to his or her "needs"?
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #2  December 22,2009, 4:59pm
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D_Lion wrote :
So, what are your "needs"?
Do I really need to say?

Shouldn't it be obvious?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  December 22,2009, 5:00pm
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I think some women might have emotions and stuff?

Can you give me any advices about that?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  December 22,2009, 5:01pm
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I think some women might have emotions and stuff?

Can you give me any advices about that?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  December 22,2009, 5:04pm
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Dang! Twice!
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #6  December 22,2009, 5:10pm
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Yes I do expect that.
 
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suzyblueeyes is offline suzyblueeyes Post #7  December 22,2009, 5:11pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Now, I look for little from a dating partner (qualities like dependability - which all people ought to have at all times), but I don't look to have "my needs" filled by them.
I think need v. want debate is a very subjective topic. It's my opinion that what some people classify as wants are really needs. Take your example above. I know several people who are kind, loving human beings, but who I would not classify as dependable. I, personally, "need" to be a relationship with someone who is dependable, so I would not consider being a relationship with one of these lovely yet undependable people.

I need things like in a partner like dependability, rationality, kindness, respect, and a low-drama personality. When one of these needs isn't being met, I will either work to fix it or move on. And these are not wants in my book. I cannot be in a relationship where these needs are not being met. I would rather be single.
Last edited by suzyblueeyes; December 22,2009 at 5:27pm.
 
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lostatsea is offline lostatsea Post #8  December 22,2009, 5:16pm
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I can meet my own needs just fine and do not rely on a man to do that for me. I guess that sort of independence is why I'm still single
I suspect you are refering to emotional needs.
 
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lostatsea is offline lostatsea Post #9  December 22,2009, 5:20pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Let's talk about "needs."






Now, I look for little from a dating partner (qualities like dependability - which all people ought to have at all times), but I don't look to have "my needs" filled by them.

So, what are your "needs"?

What are the "needs" your dating partners have expressed to you?

How do you / did you react / respond to his or her "needs"?
D Lion, I actually agree with you on this...I think the original OP is confusing "needs" with "qualities" she is looking for in a person.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #10  December 22,2009, 5:21pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Now, I look for little from a dating partner (qualities like dependability - which all people ought to have at all times), but I don't look to have "my needs" filled by them.
this is so full of malarkey.

you *expect* and you expect dearly.

what if she didnt laugh at your jokes? appreciate what you have to offer? appreciate all of the $$ that you spend on a first date? those are needs of affirmation and appreciation. if you don't need that from another person then what do you want a relationship for?

i dont want to talk about my needs, but i have them. and if i dont have them then i dont need a relationship with a man (which i am assuming is the context of your question when it is directed at women) the truth is that i can live without one, so i guess technically that isnt a need. or maybe i just get those needs filled in other ways.
Last edited by Nanette; December 22,2009 at 5:26pm. Reason: carp that last paragraph makes no sense
 
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