I need to ask this person out now! But I need help.


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Ming11 is offline Ming11 Post #1  December 22,2009, 1:41pm
Ming11's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 5

See profile

Alright. Here's the predicament.

I've never asked a girl out before or even been in a relationship greater than "just friends." I have had strong crushes on girls in the past which I wished had turned into something more, but never had. Idk if this is relevant, but there have been girls who have been seriously crushing on me, (to the point it was very obvious) but I never let the relationship go beyond being friends all because while I liked those girls as friends, I had no interest in them from a relationship standpoint.

I'm a senior in high school and there is this one girl I have had a crush on since freshman year with varying. I honestly can't see myself being with anyone else. We have been friends since then, but never really close. She has had two boyfriends since then and has been very single for over a year.

Her most recent ex-boyfriend whom I've lost contact with is still interested in her and she has told me that he regularly invites himself over her house for different reasons. She told me she thinks it is very creepy and that she wishes he'd stop. She's the kind of person that I feel has a little bit of a hard time saying "no" or "stop" to someone if she is feeling uncomfortable.

This year we've had literally every single class together (whereas in past years it was one, or none) and we have become very strong friends. We've talked a lot (i mean a lot) during school and we regularly chat on aim for hours and hours at a time.

Earlier this year, before I got a car, sometimes she'd out of nowhere drive by me after school and offer to give me a ride to wherever I was headed. Later I learned that she had gone a long way out of her typical commute just to drive past me to give me a ride.

I've found out a lot about her since talking to her for so much time and her personality and mine are practically identical. Even if I wasn't interested in her at all, I would think it was kinda freaky. We have the same interests, same habits, and the same thoughts. We often end up finishing each other sentences.

This girl is different around guys than other girls. She seems content to stay single. Perhaps do to her past relationships she really hates being touched by guys. There is one guy who is openly interested in her. And it is very obvious she is not interested in him at all. He does things to her that would make anyone extremely uncomfortable and is relentless. She's told me that she can't stand him in the least and wishes he'd just go away. The things he does she could easily put a stop to with a simple "no" or a "stop" or refuse to hang out with him when he offers. She has a hard time not accepting unwanted affection.

However when she is touched (as in a friendly nudge, etc.) by other guys she will sometimes tell them off and she will never willingly touch anyone else. As a result I've been very careful not to touch her. When I have however, she's always been receptive, and never shows any signs that she didn't like my doing so.

I like her an aweful lot. I've deliberately stayed away from other girls who have had crushes on me whom I could see myself dating, in the hopes that things might start moving with this one girl.

Her best friend (who is a girl) - and also is one of my good friends has been having trouble in her relationship. She has turned to both of us for serious advice on what to do. This girl I like and I have had long conversations with each other about our friend's problems and we've discovered, just like everything else, our ideas on relationships and dating are once again almost identical.

This next part is important. Yesterday, this girl and I were staying after school to work on a project together. Our friend (the one who we've been advising) came in and asked if she could get a ride home from the girl I'm interested in. She couldn't b/c she had to get to work. So I offered to give her a ride home. As soon as we were in the car, she outright blurted "Do you like her?!" I told her I did and was curious to hear her input. She said that she thought I did and said that she's sure that that girl also likes me. I asked her why she thought so, and she said that she could just "tell" by how she acts around me.

She also told me that that girl is truly very single and she thinks that I should ask her out very soon. She then told me she thought might make good dates based on this girl's interests and such. I'd already thought of practically all of them because thats how well I've gotten to know her. I also told her that I'd been poised to ask her out a few times before but while I was "feeling her out" she always seemed to be busy. My friend said that this girl really isn't very busy at all and that I should just ask her.

So here's my problem. I am certain that I want to ask her out tomorrow. Should I or should I wait until after break or during break? I have never done this before and advice is very much appreciated. Because I know that she sometimes uncomfortable saying "no" to guys, I really don't want to be blunt or make her feel in any way that she has to say yes. If she goes out with me, it has to be because she wants to which I am fairly certain she does. I am unsure whether or not I should suggest we do something right after school or try and plan something for a later time. If we were to do something right after school, it would have to be quick like a Starbucks or something - she is leaving for Vermont tonight for Christmas.

More importantly I need to know how I should ask her. I've known her for 4 years now, but have only become really close in the past 5 months or so. I do not want to wreck my friendship with her. This is different than asking a complete stranger out because if you crash and burn you didn't loose anything. Knowing how she's sort of (for lack of a better word) finicky around guys, should I tell her straight out how much I like her or what?

I need your help a lot. Thanks. And I'm sorry for this being so long.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  December 22,2009, 2:11pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,660

See profile

Personally I think you're doomed, because you have far too much excessive emotion directed at this girl already.

As to asking a women: since you know her already, I would make a brief comment, then immediately procede with a direct, specific invitation which is obviously a date.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Need to know when I can address an issue with him... | Dating | Are we exclusive... or not? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Trusting a person that does not love animals to the same degree? bookhead Animal Lovers Singles 11 May 26,2010 10:32pm
My Match and I Both Feel We Are Soulmates lisab12565 Dating 32 February 16,2010 6:02pm
How far could a girl go on profile photos? jen1980 Dating 41 December 19,2009 8:15pm
After person hurt me, should I continue to date them? SouthernWoman26 Relationships 31 September 18,2009 3:09pm
The kind of person I am in a relationship. Josh_81 About You 22 July 23,2009 9:29pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:01pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0