"you are so unique" ... what does that mean?!


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  December 22,2009, 7:42am
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Ok, I have now been told by a few different guys that I am "unique and different than most of their dates." One guy even said he has to relearn dating with me... Now, obviously, I could do the right thing and just ask them, what in the world do you mean by this . Yes, that would be too easy... whoever takes the easy way out?!

I think they mean it as a compliment, but also, I'm pretty sure that all women/men are unique. It appears that they are more talking about my dating style, communications style, beliefs? They keep coming back, so I'm thinking it's not a bad thing. That's probably the reason I've decided to be on this board. Obiously, I'm doing something very different than the norm of "online" dating, so just trying to figure out what it is.

So, here's the typical situation... I try not to date (meaning consistently see with the potential of making that person exclusive) more than 3 guys. After the first date, I determine if there is absolutely anything there. If there is something, a hint, and I've enjoyed the way he's communicated up to that point, then we will have date number 2. That is the deciding date... if just no chemistry whatsoever, then I normally write an email, thanking him for the date, and that there isn't chemistry (in nicer words)... If there is, then we normally decide to see each other regularly 1-2 times per week. I'll email once, and only email again when I receive a reply. If he replies, then I'll reply (I might wait until the next day depending on the hour). I like a lot of hugs, not big at the kissing a lot of random guys thing, so typically hold off on that.

I'm sure I'm missing something, but does all this sound strange? I keep hearing there is no norm to online dating and guys, but I just got another email last night and it mentioned the "unique" thing again! Maybe that's just a guy's way to say I like you and you're special?!!!
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #2  December 22,2009, 7:57am
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You are probably refreshingly "normal" to most people, which in this world makes you pretty unique lol.

You sound like a pretty well adjusted person. There are a lot who are not.

It's a compliment.

JMHO

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Georgetheman is offline Georgetheman Post #3  December 22,2009, 9:13am
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I don't think they mean your dating style is unique (i.e. not what you do). It sounds like you're piquing their interest. Unless it's said with a raised eyebrow... "you're so... um... unique..." , I think that has to be a compliment and a sign of interest.

Regardless, it sounds like you're doing things "right!"
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #4  December 22,2009, 9:20am
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Georgetheman wrote :
Unless it's said with a raised eyebrow... "you're so... um... unique..."
LOL!!!
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #5  December 22,2009, 9:23am
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"You're unique ---- just like everybody else"
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #6  December 22,2009, 10:07am
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I agree that it's probably not your dating style that they are referring to, but for crying out loud...


just ask them what they mean!!!


I mean seriously, there's no way they'll be offended by such a question, and you'll get a much better answer from them than from us.
 
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winn is offline winn Post #7  December 22,2009, 10:08am

Please tell me where I can find a normal man???

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6dle899 wrote :
"You're unique ---- just like everybody else"
Yeah but some are more unique than others.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #8  December 22,2009, 10:10am
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cardguy wrote :
I mean seriously, there's no way they'll be offended by such a question, and you'll get a much better answer from them than from us.
seriously?? ... I thought this was the place to find all knowledge and truth about the dating scene... and men! jeeze, now you tell me!!
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #9  December 22,2009, 10:29am
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jussmile wrote :
seriously?? ... I thought this was the place to find all knowledge and truth about the dating scene... and men! jeeze, now you tell me!!
That's a unique way of looking at it.

Seriously, it sounds as if you treat people with respect. While it's the right thing to do, unfortunately some people haven't experienced that in their dating lives.

I've gotten the 'unique' comment a few times, myself, and I usually ask because I'm intrigued. The answers are usually different from man to man, but ultimately they come down to the fact that I share my personality fairly early on -- no playing a role to suit the potential relationship. Don't know if that's what's driving the comments you're getting, but it might be worth a thought.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  December 22,2009, 10:33am
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jussmile wrote :
seriously?? ... I thought this was the place to find all knowledge and truth about the dating scene... and men! jeeze, now you tell me!!
Yes indeed this is the place to find all knowledge and truth (wisdom also) about the dating scene. Particularly now that I am here today
 
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