"poofing" - have you done it?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  December 21,2009, 4:48pm
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There's often talk of "poofers" here -- those who, usually during the earliest stages of dating, simply disappear, often when things appear to be going well.

Have you ever poofed on someone? What was your reasoning for doing so, vs. having "a talk"?

In hindsight, do you think it was the right thing to do or do you wish you'd handled things differently?
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #2  December 21,2009, 4:50pm

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I have poofed - I stand by my poof, except for one. One I should have told him I was not interested but I took the chicken way out.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  December 21,2009, 5:26pm
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I dont think I ever have, but I have met people that made me wish I had.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #4  December 21,2009, 5:31pm

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::hand in the air waving madly::
I admit to it once. The man was obtuse, I tried being polite in breaking things off and he wouldn't take the hint.
Finally I blocked his phone number and made a fake email reply saying I was out of the country for 6 months that I sent to him when he emailed me.
Since he knew I traveled a lot, I guess he believed it.

Though I'm not sure is this a real poof or an avoidance method.

I've sure been poofed on though. A number of times, which should tell me something but I can't, for the life of me decide what.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  December 21,2009, 5:36pm
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Never.

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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  December 21,2009, 5:37pm
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
There's often talk of "poofers" here -- those who, usually during the earliest stages of dating, simply disappear, often when things appear to be going well.

Have you ever poofed on someone? What was your reasoning for doing so, vs. having "a talk"?

In hindsight, do you think it was the right thing to do or do you wish you'd handled things differently?
Interesting question. Rarely have I ever had a match / date ever say "thanks but no thanks". They all just poof.

I do wonder what kind of "talk" you would think would be worthwhile after one date? Though it would be preferable to say that you are not interested in going forward at the end of the date rather than saying yes to the suggestion of a second date.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #7  December 21,2009, 5:39pm
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Not so far. I just usually say a couple things I liked about them but that the chemistry wasn't there for me for whatever reason and good luck with the search for someone else.

So far I've had no bad experiences using that approach.

But if you are the one who is primarily expected to do the asking out, as is the case for most guys, I guess it's kind of different.

I mean you'd feel like a jerk calling someone up to say yeah I'm not calling to ask you out bc I don't want to ask you out any more ...

I dunno how I'd handle it if I was a guy and expected to do the asking ...
Last edited by nightling; December 21,2009 at 5:41pm.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  December 21,2009, 5:39pm
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
::hand in the air waving madly::
I admit to it once. The man was obtuse, I tried being polite in breaking things off and he wouldn't take the hint.
Finally I blocked his phone number and made a fake email reply saying I was out of the country for 6 months that I sent to him when he emailed me.
Since he knew I traveled a lot, I guess he believed it.

Though I'm not sure is this a real poof or an avoidance method.

I've sure been poofed on though. A number of times, which should tell me something but I can't, for the life of me decide what.
If you tell someone that you are not interested and they just don't seem to understand simple spoken words then what you did was not poofing. IMHO
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #9  December 21,2009, 5:41pm
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does it count when you email vs. saying it f2f? if so, I poof all the time! I would much rather say, "the chemistry is just not there" over email, rather than at the end of a date that he thought went extremely well!!
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  December 21,2009, 5:41pm
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Twice. One who deserved it. The other, maybe not, but he needed to get over his divorce.
 
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