suzyblueeyes is offline suzyblueeyes Post #1  December 21,2009, 5:36am
suzyblueeyes's Avatar

is engaged

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

USA

Posts: 855

See profile

I have a quick question. I have been emailing back and forth with a man for the last week and a half, each of us sending messages at least once per day. He suggested meeting up saturday, but I had other plans, so I suggested back monday or wednesday. He said, sure, and we were emailing to arrange a place. However, we never did settle on a day, and I haven't heard from him since saturday. I figured I would hear from him at some point yesterday, but I didn't. I am annoyed because this is only one of four guys I am trying to set up dates with, and I literally only have three free evenings between now and the end of the holidays. I had been leaving these two blocked off mentally until we decided on a definite date. I was very excited about meeting this guy (was being the operative word).

Monday is tonight. I could have made other plans, but like I said I assumed I would hear back from him yesterday. I assume at this point if he wanted to go out, I would have heard back from him. It's just very strange for him to initiate communication, suggest a date, 90% plan it, then disappear. We had already picked out a restaurant and everything.

So my question is ... should I email this guy back and ask what the deal is? Or should I just chalk it up to the fact that this guy is a flake?
 
  Reply With Quote
Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #2  December 21,2009, 5:53am
Mangosteen's Avatar

sleeeepy

Pacesetter

Joined: Dec 2008

Southwest

Posts: 378

See profile

I assume that you'd been communicating and at this point it was u p to him to confirm the date and he didn't...? To me, it sounds like his is a flake. However, if you really like him, you could give him the extreme benefit of the doubt and assume that he somehow did not receive your last text and is also wondering why you aren't responding... unlikely, but possible. So you could send a last email/txt asking if he'd gotten your last one and saying you only had the two days open this week and that you'd like to meet up with him if he's available.

Just be prepared that he may not show up. :P
 
  Reply With Quote
borebore is offline borebore Post #3  December 21,2009, 5:56am
borebore's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2009

Southern CA

Posts: 55

See profile

Invite multiple guys to the same place and see who shows up, then have a little competition to see who's worthy of you. j/k

I'd just assume he is not going to respond and schedule your time with something more worth it to you. aka, date someone else or do something else with your free time
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  December 21,2009, 6:25am
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

suzyblueeyes wrote :

So my question is ... should I email this guy back and ask what the deal is? Or should I just chalk it up to the fact that this guy is a flake?
Chalk it up
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  December 21,2009, 6:26am
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

borebore wrote :
Invite multiple guys to the same place and see who shows up, then have a little competition to see who's worthy of you. j/k
lol i needed this laugh
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #6  December 21,2009, 8:08am
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,638

See profile

You should email this guy and find out what is the plan.

If he doesnt respond then maybe for whatever reason he lost interest. If you had initially said yest to saturday then remembered you had another thing to do he may have read that as you backing away.
 
  Reply With Quote
FairOne is offline FairOne Post #7  December 21,2009, 10:16am
FairOne's Avatar

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2009

Posts: 1,548

See profile

suzyblueeyes wrote :
So my question is ... should I email this guy back and ask what the deal is? Or should I just chalk it up to the fact that this guy is a flake?
While I understand the desire to email him and see what's what, I'd chalk it up. My feeling is if he was truly interested, he would've planned the date all the way out/would follow up.
 
  Reply With Quote
jussmile is offline jussmile Post #8  December 21,2009, 10:26am
jussmile's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

Seattle

Posts: 3,837

See profile

I would definitely email him. I try to never assume anyone's intentions. and if things were going as well as you've said... a number of reasons could lend to him not getting back to you. Now, if this continues and he establishes a trend... that is a different story. I've dealt with guys and poor communications, and I still don't know what to think either!
 
  Reply With Quote
qt_py is offline qt_py Post #9  December 21,2009, 11:39am

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2009

Posts: 177

See profile

Has it occured to you that maybe your guy is also trying to snag 3-4 dates with other people, too?
 
  Reply With Quote
PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  December 21,2009, 12:40pm

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 6,908

See profile

If I were the guy and my match said "Monday or Wednesday" I would've responded by picking one of the days (most likely Wednesday because Monday is when everybody's catching up with emails)...but maybe he was waiting for you to pick a day (since you gave them two options)...although I wouldn't reply an email with only one word 'sure'. That's just too relaxed for first time meeting in my opinion.

Here's the plan (if the guy hasn't soured you already):

1. Do stuff by yourself or with friends or other constructive things tonight.

2. Send him the email if you want...telling him that you've never heard back from him whether he wanted to meet on Monday or Wednesday and see what he comes back with.

3. Assuming the response is satisfactory or he ended up saying let's go on Wednesday..then you go see him then.

4. Assuming he didn't respond or you didn't like his response, post a new thread about it!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« the 1-3 month period: what do men want? | Dating | Father with legal ccustody equal dealbreaker? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
I want out of endless email loop--and maybe a second date? Fledgling Dating 17 December 29,2009 5:12pm
Shall I call, email, or not? funnyengineergal Dating 65 October 6,2009 7:56pm
Email misscommunication MerryMerry Ask a Dating Expert 2 September 8,2009 9:20am
any way person could get email without disclosure? chandracloud Using eHarmony 8 August 1,2009 12:38pm
EH timing out email sessions! ARGH! ScottK Using eHarmony 2 June 24,2009 8:22am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:52pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0